Private Journal – Keep Out.

Archive for October, 1999


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I don’t for a minute regret having been with you. We had something special and maybe we will again, but for now I’m not comfortable resuming our relationship in any fashion. I’m just not ready, i can’t rebound as quickly as you can, I suppose. It takes me longer to recover from a broken heart, though it would surprise me and would be a little dissapointing if could honestly say that you’re over me already. I do miss your company, not only as a friend (though i know that I can’t have any more), and i hope that at some point we can resume contact, but at the moment i’m scared to even run into you because i don’t know how i’d react.

I know that perhaps you’ve moved on and I hope you’re happy. As always, I just want you to be as happy and content as you can be, with or without me. I said that when we were together and I still say it. I hate sleeping alone and miss the feel of your body against mine and your scent, but its apparently just not meant to be for either of us right now. Maybe it just wasn’t the right time for us. I do miss you and think about you all the time. Believe me, this isn’t changing my feelings about enjoying spending time with you as a person, I just can’t right now. I think that I’ll know if and when I can and you’ll be the second to know. Don’t think for a second, however, that my heart doesn’t still hurt when I think of you and the love we shared.

I’m trying to take things one day at a time. I just really don’t want this to end with anger and i don’t want you to hate me because i don’t hate you. I don’t want to lose you completely.

I know this may make me sound pathetic to you but you know how much I cared for you. In many ways I’m still in shock over not having you to come home to anymore.

I hope you can understand all of this, because it was very difficult for me to write. I don’t really see how you have room to get angry, as it was your decision to break up, not mine. As for your stuff, it is being shipped to you early this week. I just haven’t been to work to send it out.

Please know that I’ll always love you and you’ll always be special to me. I said that when we were together and it is still true.


Written by admin

October 2nd, 1999 at 2:23 pm

Posted in Meri