sdcjournal

Private Journal – Keep Out.

My Week So Far

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wednesday-
unable to focus, hid in joanne grand’s old office…cried.. spoke to
nandi…
thursday-stayed home, slept til 1pm, obsessed over the carlin
situation…even typing the name sends waves… spoke to my mom and nandi
about the situation. emailed vera that i wouldn’t be in today or
tomorrow…she said ‘if i need anything…’ .. i guess people miss
me… though its not my self-confidence thats being affected here…
not in the overall aspect… just my love confidence and my ability to
function with other people
nandi said call carlin, so i did… spoke for 2 hours, explained the
situation… she can’t be what i need right now because of her job, and
what people expect of her in order for her to keep the upper hand in
business… does really like me.. kept saying (or maybe i’m just
repeating it over and over in my mind) that its only been a month and a
half, and thats not that much time, and that she thought she was doing
well by showing up to the coffee shop… i told her i wouldn’t even
have to think about showing up for one of her events.
neither of us is in the wrong here, which is what makes it so hard. But
I can’t keep obsessing over this right now, I just wanted to get it
out.

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Written by admin

October 17th, 2003 at 10:45 pm

Posted in Carlin Drama