Private Journal – Keep Out.

This isn’t going to be easy, is it…

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Had a generally good week.
Bullet points:
– DJed with Red Alert and Joey on Tuesday. Had fun, felt totally
outclassed. I’m so used to being in the upper echelon of DJs in my
particular scene (having been in it 6 years) that when i spin with
people who’ve been doin it 20+ i felt like the small fry. Not that i
didn’t think I did a good job, and i’mi sure when i’ve been doin it as
long as they have i’ll be as good as them. Anyway, they want me to be a
resident! I get to spin with these guys every month starting in
february. Good deal.
– Got to have lunch with Carlin on Wednesday. She needed my advide on
some stuff going on. Basically Ed (the psycho ex/business partner)
stole her paycheck and spent it on coke and strippers. People have been
telling her to cut him loose and i guess she just wanted a friendly
face to tell her too.
Spoke to her Friday, apparently she’s giving him ‘one more chance’ and
then he’s out… dont know what to make of that. told her she was ‘too
forgiving’…not that she didn’t know that.
Let’s see if this sounds familiar to anyone.
Carlin was in a really good mood apparently on Friday… sorta
scheduled to meet up after her shoot of the evening at around 1:30… i
went out clubbin and called 3 times when we were supposed to meet…no
She called Saturday morning, I didn’t answer (breakin the pattern).
Left a message saying that she’d been out til like 4 last night and
didn’t remember most of it, and wanting to see if i wanted to hang out
cause she was going to be in the city and had some free time. Left
another message that afternoon saying “I’m beginning to think you’re
ignoring me. Oh well, just desserts and all that. Give me a call if you
want to do something today.”
Its strange, this is the first day i’ve realized how out of touch with
some of my emotions I am. I felt angry that she flaked again, since i
was looking forward to having an evening with her. But this weekend I
was not at all sure how long i was supposed to be mad for or whether i
was supposed to call or anything… not at all sure how to handle the
How do you make other people see their patterns and break them? Or is
it ones place? Does it change when you’re directly affected? Why don’t
I know how to handle this?

Written by admin

December 14th, 2003 at 5:01 pm

Posted in Uncategorized