Private Journal – Keep Out.

Confrontation, part the second.

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Was talking to Rebecca about my situations, as usual. she’s got a wise
mind and a good ear… poisonivy270: it can’t be that bad
SoftLord: no its not, but its like.. a lot of medium sized things that
add up
poisonivy270: yeah
poisonivy270: i’ve been there
poisonivy270: sorry babe
SoftLord: alex is all like.. ‘my heart hurts’ and like…expecting me
to be there for her and stuff, and since talking to my therapist i’ve
been trying to figure out places in which i’m being taken advantage of
and trying to figure out how to deal with them… so i basically called
on flaking on plans twice in the last week and a half…and we have
plans friday which now she’s not sure if she can do… and its not fair
to me
poisonivy270: not at all
poisonivy270: not right now
poisonivy270: but you need to call her on it
poisonivy270: talk bout it
SoftLord: i did and she got all huffy, of course
poisonivy270: ugh
poisonivy270: yuck
poisonivy270: what a bad situation
SoftLord: yea
poisonivy270: she clearly feels like it’s not flaking
poisonivy270: bleah
SoftLord: well its alex’s world, we’re just livin in it
poisonivy270: ugh
SoftLord: i just felt like it needed to be made clear that its
irresponsible and unfair to flake on plans twice in one week…
poisonivy270: yes
poisonivy270: you have to express how you’re feeling
SoftLord: and yet, theres the reaction… doesn’t make me want to
continue working toward learning to confront unfair situations
poisonivy270: true too
SoftLord: it really amazes me how much i lack even rudimentary skill at
that aspect of life…i hadn’t even noticed it mostly… just gotten so
used to being underappreciated and mistreated, took it for granted
poisonivy270: eventually you have to take care of yourself
poisonivy270: without disrespecting others
poisonivy270: it’s hard
poisonivy270: especially when they get mad and make you feel guilty
SoftLord: do you think i crossed a line?
poisonivy270: i can’t judge
poisonivy270: i don’t know the whole thang
SoftLord: true enough
SoftLord: i dont feel guilty i feel like my efforts were ineffectual
poisonivy270: but it seems as though she doesn’t feel like she’s
disrespecting you….just wants to be alone
SoftLord: well then she shouldn’t make plans with me should she

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Written by admin

January 14th, 2004 at 12:02 am

Posted in Alex