Private Journal – Keep Out.

I got an IM from

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I got an IM from Carlin tonight…apparently she was going through some
photos and such and feeling nostalgic. Wasn’t quite sure that I wanted
to respond, but in the end I decided to. Had an interesting
conversation, where basically she said that she’d missed me and that
i’d had an influence in her life, being able to stop and think about
whats really important (friends, music, etc)… Was weird talking to
her, but I pretty much laid it out, since I’m feeling honest. Told her
that there are many things i like about her, but i didn’t think how she
treated me while we were together was very nice and that it didn’t make
me feel like she wanted me there or that i was important. She seemed to
understand where i was coming from and didn’t begrudge me. Basically,
it seemed like she missed me and wanted to reach out. I guess we’ve
both changed a bit. I don’t think I would’ve gotten that level of
forthcomingness and honesty from her 6 months ago, and on the other
hand I dont think I would have been able to verbalize how she’d made me
feel either.
SoftLord: you were saying
chrrybmbnyc: that you’ve had an influence on me
SoftLord: right…and i was asking in what way
chrrybmbnyc: positively. seeing things that I don’t normally take the
time out to see. SoftLord: interesting…like?
chrrybmbnyc: like taking time for me. appreciating music and friends
SoftLord: good!
chrrybmbnyc: thank you
SoftLord: i’m happy to have been the motivation for you realizing whats
really important in this life
it sounds like reassessing life a bit… I’m glad that I was able to be
a good influence on someone that I held in such high regard. Past tense
is still up in the air. I did enjoy chatting with her, I’d missed it.
I think I’m strong enough right now to be able to recognize if I begin
to fall into old patterns, and I think she realizes she respects me
enough not to put me through that again.
It’s nice to have another person to talk to.
This should be interesting, at least.

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Written by admin

March 7th, 2004 at 3:08 am

Posted in Carlin Drama