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—–Original Message—–
From: MARYRUTHC@aol.com [mailto:MARYRUTHC@aol.com]
Sent: Wednesday, November 02, 2005 7:59 A
To: softlord@pobox.com
Subject: Re: An update.

Jeremy, Good to get your update. I haven’t gone to your couch picture, but it seems like things are shaping up for you.

Good Go on not hanging around while Sonya decides if she has something going with this other fellow. Being interested in someone is exhilirating and challenging. It sounds as if you are not losing yourself though and it natural to feel a little insecure because you are investing yourself.

Reading about issues is a useful tool The value of a thereapist is that you can discuss your reactions to feelings and get some feedback about things that the therapist hears from you, things you may not have thought about (which is time saving) and explore even further what these feelings mean and what you might want to do with them.

Just some thoughts, and you sound on track. You indicated that you are listening to your inner self when you spoke about the way you are interacting with your father.

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Response:

Things are changing their alignment, it feels like new things are coming into focus… the onion skin/mobile thing, if you like.

To clarify, i didn’t necessarily mean that i was giving up and moving on…its more like….if this is what she needs to focus on in order to make it okay to have someone interested in her that she connects with, then let her do it… my friend Kristie (who always gives sage advice and who’s known me a long time) tends to think that its a BS safety net, and I’m inclined to think that too…regardless it’s real to her, and i know i have my own safety nets, so indulging her seems like not too much of a sacrifice for the time being.

I dont currently have anyone else on my radar, and should something come along before anything happens here, i’m not saying i wouldn’t go with it…but i’m trying not to just metaphorically “wait by the phone”. I asked her if she wanted to go to dinner as friends, with her setting the day and place and she seeme down, so… slow and steady and all that.

Actually I’m more just afraid that my fear of being abandoned by a woman will continue to sabotage any of my chances for real relationships… now that i’m focused on it, I do see patterns that can be traced back to that original fear. Which saddens me because I know that i can be a really good partner for someone, hopefullly someone who can appreciate both my gifts and my quirks. Nobody goes into relationships as perfectly well-adjusted level-headed ideal matches, I realize, so…we’ll see…and now i’m just overthinking 🙂

I do agree about the therapist thing, since of course no book is going to cover my specific complexities, but for now I’m going to try to get myself educated on the prevailing theories and common traits and treatments so I can feel like I’m not totally unprepared, and learn to recognize the patterns as they arise, so they can at least start to be addressed in my conscious mind.

Anyway, as my mom says, everything is a learning experience. I’m just hoping this one lasts more than a week of good conversation.

-Jeremy

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Written by admin

November 2nd, 2005 at 9:44 am

Posted in Women

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