Conversation with kate9881
Conversation with kate9881 on 1/15/2010 10:01:28 AM:
(10:01:35 AM) jeremystudiod: my IM was all screwy this mornin
(10:01:36 AM) jeremystudiod: happy friday!
(10:02:02 AM) kate9881: woohoo
(10:05:06 AM) jeremystudiod: i’m pretty psyched
(10:05:25 AM) kate9881: loooooong slow week
(10:08:57 AM) jeremystudiod: true
(10:09:00 AM) jeremystudiod: workwise at least
(10:09:03 AM) kate9881: yes
(10:11:47 AM) kate9881: :-*
(10:11:58 AM) jeremystudiod: mm yum
(10:12:02 AM) jeremystudiod: want some katekisses now :/
(10:12:16 AM) kate9881: xoxoxo
(10:12:27 AM) jeremystudiod: !
(10:12:28 AM) jeremystudiod: π
(10:23:13 AM) kate9881: pole-dancing classes?
(10:24:25 AM) kate9881: http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2010-01-14/conans-exit-confirmed/?cid=sexybeast:mainpromo1
(10:25:35 AM) jeremystudiod: apparently kimmel was on leno last night?
(10:25:41 AM) jeremystudiod: wow, they’re buying him out
(10:25:47 AM) jeremystudiod: is it wrong that i really want leno to tank now?
(10:26:31 AM) kate9881: yeah, i heard about kimmel
(10:27:27 AM) kate9881: i’m assuming he didn’t go on as leno
(10:27:44 AM) jeremystudiod: that would be awesome
(10:28:59 AM) kate9881: so i get an email from my boss this morning
(10:29:06 AM) jeremystudiod: ok
(10:29:30 AM) kate9881: don’t panic, not a layoff notice or anything
(10:30:49 AM) jeremystudiod: i wasn’t
(10:30:51 AM) kate9881: some woman from this art film company wants to organize an event about a chinese artist
(10:30:52 AM) kate9881: with a Social Media angel
(10:30:53 AM) jeremystudiod: i figured you wouldve lead with that π
(10:30:54 AM) kate9881: angle
(10:31:12 AM) kate9881: um
(10:31:12 AM) kate9881: wait
(10:31:24 AM) kate9881: she just walked into the head curators office and shut the door
(10:31:39 AM) kate9881: anyway
(10:31:56 AM) kate9881: it appears that our president just discovered something called Social Media
(10:32:16 AM) jeremystudiod: crazy!
(10:32:28 AM) jeremystudiod: well that could be good for you, actually
(10:32:34 AM) jeremystudiod: i mean, if you care to make it so
(10:32:34 AM) jeremystudiod: π
(10:32:38 AM) kate9881: “Aside from the film, we are currently trying to find a venue for a live Twitter feed with Ai Weiwei and Jack Dorsey, a co-founder of Twitter,”
(10:32:42 AM) kate9881: ??
(10:32:48 AM) kate9881: what does that even mean
(10:32:55 AM) jeremystudiod: i dont know
(10:33:01 AM) jeremystudiod: @jack would just do that?
(10:33:09 AM) kate9881: um prob not
(10:33:12 AM) jeremystudiod: maybe they think its like a video feed?
(10:33:21 AM) kate9881: i think so
(10:33:21 AM) kate9881: hahahaha
(10:33:32 AM) kate9881: it’s a Social Media event organized by two old ladies
(10:33:40 AM) jeremystudiod: i would follow grandmas on twitter
(10:33:51 AM) kate9881: they aren’t on twitter themselves, clearly
(10:35:27 AM) jeremystudiod: clearly
(10:35:39 AM) jeremystudiod: so…our connection to our network is down and has been all day
(10:35:42 AM) jeremystudiod: and now the phones dont work
(10:35:55 AM) jeremystudiod: this is not a good communication day
(10:36:41 AM) kate9881: nice!
(10:39:35 AM) kate9881: although we somehow failed to send a single tweet about last night
(10:45:59 AM) kate9881: and boss just walked into someone else’s office and closed the door
(11:06:03 AM) jeremystudiod: i sent somethign to Ryan
(11:06:05 AM) jeremystudiod: he couldn’t make it\
(11:08:19 AM) kate9881: scott_tobias Happy that readers are “ditto”-ing my love for The Cardigans, which are so, so much more than a one-hit wonder: http://bit.ly/5VoprS
(11:08:29 AM) jeremystudiod: maybe they’re getting rid of your boss
(11:08:38 AM) jeremystudiod: yay the cardigans
(11:08:40 AM) jeremystudiod: and A Camp
(11:09:16 AM) kate9881: it could be nothing. who knows
(11:09:24 AM) jeremystudiod: yeah i mean
(11:09:30 AM) jeremystudiod: nothing you can do either way so nothing to worry about
(11:09:59 AM) kate9881: yeah, i’m so over this place, it’s like Shrug
(11:13:20 AM) jeremystudiod: the doors still suck tho
(11:14:02 AM) kate9881: what does this mean: “We believe we could podcast the talk, via a Twitter feed, enabling hundreds of thousands of people to listen in, and participate in real-time via tweeting as well… while attendees in the audience could actually see the feeds and real time tweets.
(11:14:18 AM) jeremystudiod: wow
(11:14:20 AM) jeremystudiod: it certainly
(11:14:21 AM) jeremystudiod: …
(11:14:25 AM) jeremystudiod: well, i’ll say this for it
(11:14:29 AM) jeremystudiod: it has a lot of words.
(11:14:42 AM) kate9881: i don’t know how to respond to that
(11:14:50 AM) jeremystudiod: a paley center podcast would be cool
(11:15:13 AM) kate9881: our industry dude does a podcast
(11:15:18 AM) kate9881: that no one knows exists
(11:15:23 AM) kate9881: and/or cares about
(11:15:41 AM) jeremystudiod: right
(11:15:43 AM) jeremystudiod: but even like
(11:15:52 AM) jeremystudiod: audio recordings of events posted a week after the fact
(11:16:03 AM) kate9881: yeah, that would never happen
(11:16:53 AM) kate9881: we don’t like to let people actually SEE (or hear) what we do
(11:17:03 AM) jeremystudiod: well that was crazy
(11:17:56 AM) jeremystudiod: that would be crazy i mean
(11:18:07 AM) jeremystudiod: “Yeah Louis, if you have to defend/advocate for Aliens then you need some new friends. Who the fuck are you hanging out with, Paul Reiser?”
(11:18:54 AM) jeremystudiod: tasti-d-lite is now following me.
(11:19:20 AM) kate9881: nice
(11:19:24 AM) kate9881: boss just came over
(11:19:30 AM) kate9881: she wants to meet later
(11:19:45 AM) jeremystudiod: maybe about the twitter thing?
(11:21:45 AM) kate9881: “we need to talk about where we stand with everything”
(11:21:49 AM) kate9881: vague!
(11:21:54 AM) kate9881: she looks stressed
(11:22:09 AM) jeremystudiod: maybe pull together a status report thing
(11:22:20 AM) kate9881: i’m not worried, but it’s like she’s going out of her way to frighten everyone
(11:22:41 AM) jeremystudiod: not that you dont know where things stand, but it’d probably be good to come in with an answer to ‘where we stand with everything’
(11:23:05 AM) jeremystudiod: whoa
(11:23:22 AM) jeremystudiod: not to change the subject for just a moment, but theres apparently an art exhibition going on at the old tower records 4th street
(11:25:28 AM) kate9881: oh yeah?
(11:25:42 AM) jeremystudiod: #twitpic365 old tower records is now called no longer empty. birds made out of records. http://twitpic.com/y6yv0
(11:26:25 AM) kate9881: whoa
(11:30:44 AM) kate9881: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/15/business/media/15conan.html
(11:32:38 AM) jeremystudiod: really? a senior exec at nbc said something nice about leno? *Coughspincough* shocking!
(11:33:02 AM) jeremystudiod: “Mr. Leno had his own fun during his monologue on Thursday, saying: βWith all the controversy going on here at NBC, actually, βThe Tonight Showβ with Conan OβBrienβs ratings have gone up. So youβre welcome.β”
(11:33:14 AM) jeremystudiod: In this case, he added, βwe bet on the wrong guy.β
(11:33:15 AM) jeremystudiod: wow
(11:33:38 AM) kate9881: yeah…
(11:33:41 AM) jeremystudiod: In his monologue, Mr. Letterman dealt slams on Mr. Lenoβs grabbing for every host job imaginable, including one joke that had Mr. Leno climbing out of Merv Griffinβs grave.
(11:33:41 AM) kate9881: nbc
(11:34:20 AM) jeremystudiod: kinda makes me want to watch weekend update
(11:34:26 AM) jeremystudiod: not enough to you know…actually watch weekend update
(11:34:27 AM) jeremystudiod: but
(11:36:52 AM) kate9881: ha
(11:36:58 AM) kate9881: ok, this is just sad
(11:37:31 AM) kate9881: job listing from galapagos art space
(11:38:07 AM) kate9881: pay is like 45K
(11:38:13 AM) jeremystudiod: ok
(11:38:25 AM) kate9881: and the job description is ridiculous
(11:38:32 AM) jeremystudiod: of course
(11:39:06 AM) kate9881: You have at least fifteen years professional experience and ten years successful management experience in at least three of the following: Small business ownership / partnership or senior management Systems analysis Process management Cultural / performing arts events booking and production Hospitality General Management IT management Team leadership Marketing management Public relations management Financial oversight / quickbooks / excel / financial management
(11:39:20 AM) jeremystudiod: oh non-profits.
(11:39:26 AM) kate9881: what person with ten yrs management experience wants to work for 45K???
(11:39:37 AM) jeremystudiod: why are you looking at non-profits anyway
(11:39:48 AM) kate9881: i’m not, i was looking at mediabistro
(11:39:53 AM) jeremystudiod: gotcha
(11:39:54 AM) kate9881: and i just click on everything
(11:40:02 AM) kate9881: curiosity
(11:40:06 AM) kate9881: although
(11:40:14 AM) jeremystudiod: brb <3
(11:40:15 AM) kate9881: ok, now i don’t think i’m going to pursue this
(11:40:25 AM) kate9881: i’ll type while you’re gone
(11:40:49 AM) kate9881: there’s an opening in adult programs at the brooklyn museum
(11:40:55 AM) kate9881: down the block from me
(12:22:10 PM) jeremystudiod: another museum
(12:23:49 PM) jeremystudiod: so i was thinking about your resume/linkedin stuff… and its like… everyone games their resume to a certain extent… not to lie but to make sure that they’re presented in the best possible light for everything they’ve done…its not like you can’t be yourself in the interview or whatever, but setting the stage is really about getting a lot of awesome stuff about you on paper. I really enjoy helping people with that process, and would be really happy to help with that in any way i can, and to help narrow down a focus that you can expand out into other industries or something…so, i know we’ve covered this, and of course its your decision, but just know that its not at all an imposition.
(12:27:21 PM) kate9881: sorry i had a call with the WGA
(12:28:28 PM) jeremystudiod: word
(12:29:13 PM) kate9881: interestingly, i just chatted with my mom about this
(12:29:20 PM) jeremystudiod: ok
(12:29:38 PM) kate9881: like, why i insist on doing everything on my own or the hard way
(12:29:49 PM) jeremystudiod: yeah
(12:29:54 PM) kate9881: (hard way, hehe)
(12:30:10 PM) jeremystudiod: awww yea
(12:30:38 PM) jeremystudiod: well i mean i think its in our nature to do the whole ego self me vs outside world need to be self-reliant thing
(12:30:51 PM) jeremystudiod: i know i have done that a lot
(12:31:04 PM) kate9881: yeah, for some reason that seems so important to me
(12:31:22 PM) kate9881: but anyway, she was basically like, you’re being dumb
(12:31:39 PM) kate9881: it’s stupid not to use your resources
(12:31:48 PM) kate9881: (not that she called me dumb or stupid)
(12:31:52 PM) jeremystudiod: its your brain creating an illusion of an identity separate from others…like a wall
(12:31:56 PM) jeremystudiod: cause of the bears thing
(12:32:04 PM) jeremystudiod: cause if it comes down to it and you’re attacked by bears, i wont necessarily be there π
(12:32:16 PM) jeremystudiod: its not stupid..its natural, but its also not that helpful
(12:33:32 PM) kate9881: she was like “let people be nice to you”
(12:33:43 PM) jeremystudiod: and its not like…something you can just suddently switch
(12:33:48 PM) kate9881: which is kind of interesting
(12:34:13 PM) jeremystudiod: but noticing your behavior is the first step..cause then you can get a little space between when a situation arises and when your automatic processes take over, a space to make a decision
(12:34:20 PM) kate9881: yeah
(12:34:51 PM) kate9881: i mean, i guess part of it is
(12:35:03 PM) kate9881: i have helped other people with their resumes
(12:35:08 PM) kate9881: hell, i used to critique them as part of my job
(12:35:20 PM) kate9881: i used to give workshops on the topic
(12:35:24 PM) jeremystudiod: ok
(12:35:48 PM) jeremystudiod: i help other people with their resumes, but with mine it was helpful to have someone else look at it more objectively
(12:35:56 PM) kate9881: but i get really embarrassed when i see other people describe themselves or their job responsibilities
(12:36:03 PM) kate9881: because it seems like BS
(12:36:20 PM) jeremystudiod: well theres a balance
(12:36:43 PM) jeremystudiod: it can be honest and also phrase things in a way that seems impressive even if it didn’t seem that impressive at the time you were doing it, ya know?
(12:36:52 PM) jeremystudiod: i mean my old resume was basically like “ho hum i did podcasts”
(12:37:19 PM) jeremystudiod: and now its like “conceptualized and produced 300 pieces of original content around some of the most important albums of all time, interviewed superstar artists” Etc
(12:37:30 PM) jeremystudiod: its the same activity, just a different spin
(12:37:56 PM) kate9881: right, well i don’t really like my “personal” acquaintances to read things like that about me
(12:37:58 PM) jeremystudiod: and certainly other people who will be applying for jobs will be spinning it
(12:38:10 PM) kate9881: i guess i’m afraid that someone will be like “you don’t really do that”
(12:38:19 PM) kate9881: even though that makes no sense
(12:38:26 PM) jeremystudiod: fears dont always make sense
(12:38:30 PM) kate9881: no shit
(12:38:34 PM) jeremystudiod: π
(12:38:38 PM) jeremystudiod: i think the “let people be nice to you” thing is important
(12:39:09 PM) jeremystudiod: i promise i will not be judgmental
(12:39:10 PM) jeremystudiod: i mean
(12:39:11 PM) kate9881: i know. it’s part of my whole “i have a hard time accepting compliments” thing
(12:39:18 PM) jeremystudiod: i get it
(12:39:19 PM) jeremystudiod: i reall do
(12:39:31 PM) jeremystudiod: we’re very alike in that way
(12:39:37 PM) kate9881: yeah i know
(12:40:04 PM) kate9881: i don’t have a problem sending my resume to total strangers
(12:40:07 PM) jeremystudiod: i find when i get compliments theres the tendency to do some kind of internal mental audit against what i feel is the worst parts of ‘me’ and then immediately disregard
(12:40:14 PM) kate9881: but i have a problem showing it to people i actually know
(12:40:39 PM) jeremystudiod: but i’ve learned over the months and years to begin to notice when i’m doing that and just say thank you
(12:40:42 PM) jeremystudiod: i mean it doesn’t always work
(12:40:49 PM) kate9881: yeah, i try too
(12:41:04 PM) jeremystudiod: well if you’d rather, i have a couple of friends who are good at it…or you could even go to a service or something
(12:43:44 PM) kate9881: i don’t necessarily think that would be any easier
(12:44:56 PM) kate9881: it’s weird, i don’t know when i developed this weird complex because i was looking at some emails from like 4-5 years ago
(12:45:04 PM) kate9881: and i was like, applying for jobs left and right
(12:45:10 PM) kate9881: that i was probably totally unqualified for
(12:45:21 PM) jeremystudiod: ok well
(12:46:21 PM) kate9881: but it’s like, since i took this job, i feel like i have no skills. or i’ll look at different job opportunities and talk myself out of applying, rather than saying “hey, this could be interesting”
(12:46:33 PM) jeremystudiod: totally get it
(12:47:44 PM) jeremystudiod: and i know for me a big part of the shift was getting to the point where i knowing that i had strong tools where i could just click ‘apply’ and have a strong resume and a linkedin page with details and substantive recommendations … basically to give my brain less ammo to talk me out of it
(12:49:42 PM) kate9881: yeah
(12:50:05 PM) jeremystudiod: i’m just kinda not sure how hard to push here.. i know you know i want to help and i know you’re looking at why you’re having a challenge with it, so would you like me to continue to bring it up or leave you be with it or… what would be most helpful for you?
(12:50:49 PM) kate9881: wow, you’re so accommodating
(12:51:18 PM) jeremystudiod: let me be nice to you! :-*
(12:52:41 PM) kate9881: i really want your help. i do. i just need to get over whatever issues i’m having, because they are holding me back from doing anything
(12:53:06 PM) jeremystudiod: if i can suggest
(12:53:11 PM) jeremystudiod: that you start with something small
(12:53:36 PM) jeremystudiod: and not be like ‘i need to get every part of this sorted out before i can do anything’… not that i’m saying you’re doing that, but its an easy trap to get stuk in
(12:54:49 PM) jeremystudiod: i know i was like that with relationships for a big part of last year
(12:55:03 PM) jeremystudiod: like…i need to get all my shit together before even thinking about a relationship
(12:55:38 PM) kate9881: yeah, i hear ya
(12:55:45 PM) jeremystudiod: and now
(12:55:47 PM) jeremystudiod: well, you know π
(12:55:53 PM) jeremystudiod: but i dont feel like i ‘have all my shit together’ anyway
(12:56:01 PM) kate9881: nobody does
(12:56:05 PM) jeremystudiod: yup
(12:57:00 PM) jeremystudiod: and its really the ones who SEEM the most pulled together who are the most wacky inside since they’re spending a lot of effort to seem pulled together
(12:57:01 PM) jeremystudiod: he
(12:57:01 PM) jeremystudiod: h
(12:57:44 PM) kate9881: i think what i want to get done that’s really holding me up is figuring out out to describe my job now
(12:58:17 PM) kate9881: and to some extent, how to weave together some of the more disparate portions of my job history
(12:58:30 PM) kate9881: b/c it all made sense when i was still doing education stuff
(12:59:04 PM) jeremystudiod: it may be helpful to do a braindump of everything youd o
(12:59:17 PM) jeremystudiod: including the stuff you dont get recognized for
(12:59:28 PM) kate9881: yeah. it’s just like, my resume now is really great for applying to museum jobs
(12:59:30 PM) jeremystudiod: trying not to edit
(12:59:33 PM) jeremystudiod: totally
(12:59:48 PM) kate9881: but not so much for anything else
(1:00:20 PM) kate9881: the job i have now is applicable to some less museum-y things
(1:01:06 PM) jeremystudiod: but i mean… from what you’ve told me, you’re a really great conceptual thinker in terms of matching content with audience in a way that is compelling and inexpensive.. you’re also strong on the execution and actualy getting it done, and organizing people, and you’re really good at communicating the cool bits and helping people feel like they’re part of something
(1:01:12 PM) kate9881: i’m not sure if i should just edit more stuff out, like maybe i don’t even mention teaching
(1:01:23 PM) jeremystudiod: all those things are SO in demand right now in the social media and corporate realm
(1:02:09 PM) jeremystudiod: i mean, those are three of the most important things to be good at when dealing with any kind of communications, be it online or offline
(1:02:36 PM) kate9881: yeah i guess
(1:02:46 PM) jeremystudiod: they are
(1:02:47 PM) jeremystudiod: trust e
(1:02:47 PM) jeremystudiod: me
(1:02:51 PM) jeremystudiod: i’m in this world
(1:02:53 PM) jeremystudiod: and i know
(1:02:53 PM) jeremystudiod: π
(1:03:41 PM) jeremystudiod: and we can work to focus on those things as common themes throughout your career history
(1:03:50 PM) jeremystudiod: that will make you a compelling prospect pretty much anywhere
(1:04:00 PM) kate9881: well i think the thing is
(1:05:34 PM) kate9881: i’m a lot better at explaining things in an interview than through my resume
(1:05:44 PM) jeremystudiod: me too
(1:06:02 PM) jeremystudiod: resume is basically the groundwork for people to want to know more
(1:06:08 PM) jeremystudiod: you dont have to explain everything in the resume
(1:06:11 PM) jeremystudiod: just give enough of a taste
(1:06:18 PM) jeremystudiod: its kind of like… be a tease
(1:07:51 PM) kate9881: like, if you sat me down and asked, why is it relevant that you taught kindergarten, i would have the ‘room’ to explain, how impossible the circumstances were
(1:08:12 PM) jeremystudiod: maybe you take that off the resume and save it for the interview?
(1:08:26 PM) jeremystudiod: its actually a good piece of information that gives insight into your personality
(1:08:29 PM) jeremystudiod: that may be a little flat on paper
(1:08:37 PM) kate9881: it is flat on paper
(1:08:41 PM) kate9881: but it’s a great story
(1:08:52 PM) jeremystudiod: so there you go
(1:08:57 PM) jeremystudiod: something to save for the interview
(1:09:10 PM) kate9881: they gave me a classroom of 30 spanish-only 5 year olds and i didn’t have a single book
(1:09:26 PM) kate9881: and i legally could not talk to them in spanish
(1:09:34 PM) kate9881: and none of the other teachers spoke english
(1:10:00 PM) kate9881: and none of them had ever been in school, period
(1:10:27 PM) kate9881: like, how the hell do introduce the concept of classroom behavior when you can’t use WORDS
(1:10:38 PM) jeremystudiod: what did you do
(1:11:22 PM) kate9881: no books, no curriculum. not really any supplies either
(1:11:39 PM) kate9881: also, i was 21
(1:11:47 PM) jeremystudiod: the odds were stacked against you!
(1:11:51 PM) kate9881: srsly
(1:25:17 PM) jeremystudiod: so what did you do
(1:28:37 PM) kate9881: sorry, i had to move some more sodas around
(1:28:43 PM) jeremystudiod: word
(1:28:49 PM) jeremystudiod: THAT goes on the resume, right at the top
(1:28:52 PM) jeremystudiod: expert soda mover arounder
(1:29:13 PM) kate9881: i had to use non-verbal communication for awhile
(1:29:19 PM) kate9881: like, act everything out
(1:29:48 PM) kate9881: classroom management is every teachers first priority
(1:30:21 PM) jeremystudiod: creative solution to a complex problem
(1:32:12 PM) kate9881: i mean, it’s sort of funny because on one hand, it forced me to break things down in a very organized, logical, clear way when speaking
(1:32:48 PM) kate9881: but also, not to talk down to kids, even 5 year olds
(1:33:04 PM) kate9881: interestingly, they picked up my speech patterns
(1:33:37 PM) kate9881: i guess because they were speaking and hearing spanish in every other facet of their lives
(1:33:52 PM) kate9881: i was the only native speaker they regularly encountered
(1:34:11 PM) jeremystudiod: did you end up learning more spanish?
(1:34:31 PM) kate9881: well, yeah, i mean i understood it really well at that point
(1:34:35 PM) kate9881: it was like immersion
(1:34:41 PM) jeremystudiod: so you taught and were taught
(1:34:41 PM) kate9881: but i didn’t speak it
(1:34:46 PM) kate9881: b/c they would laugh
(1:34:54 PM) kate9881: they found it hilaroius
(1:34:59 PM) kate9881: when i would try
(1:36:30 PM) jeremystudiod: hee
(1:36:34 PM) jeremystudiod: good bonding experience i bet
(1:36:40 PM) kate9881: anyway, i actually had really good success
(1:37:00 PM) kate9881: i think probably one of the biggest gainers in my TFA cohort
(1:37:11 PM) jeremystudiod: i bet
(1:37:15 PM) kate9881: (although partly b/c 5 year old are like sponges)
(1:37:31 PM) jeremystudiod: i frequently use 5 year olds to clean my bathroom tiles.
(1:37:33 PM) kate9881: but they could all read by the end of the year
(1:37:46 PM) jeremystudiod: i would definitely save that for the interview
(1:38:45 PM) kate9881: i should show you some of my stuff
(1:38:49 PM) kate9881: from that time
(1:38:57 PM) kate9881: i used to do a lot of art things with them
(1:38:58 PM) jeremystudiod: thatd be cool
(1:39:06 PM) kate9881: and i saved some of their work
(1:39:11 PM) kate9881: for my portfolio
(1:39:21 PM) kate9881: (back when i was doing more education stuff)
(1:39:35 PM) jeremystudiod: would be interesting to photograph/scan them and build an online portfolio of stuff youv’e done
(1:39:49 PM) kate9881: yeah, i’ve thought of that
(1:40:10 PM) kate9881: omg, i should dig up some of my journal entries
(1:40:17 PM) kate9881: some of them are really sad
(1:40:24 PM) jeremystudiod: π
(1:40:35 PM) kate9881: b/c the kids were really poor
(1:40:46 PM) kate9881: and had really weird ideas about me
(1:41:06 PM) kate9881: one time, we were talking about mommies and daddies or something
(1:41:35 PM) kate9881: and things that make us feel sad
(1:41:55 PM) kate9881: and a girl was like “do you feel bad when your boyfriend hits you?”
(1:41:57 PM) kate9881: to me
(1:42:03 PM) kate9881: like, she just assumed
(1:42:14 PM) kate9881: that was the norm
(1:42:17 PM) jeremystudiod: wow
(1:42:24 PM) jeremystudiod: well i mean
(1:42:29 PM) jeremystudiod: maybe that was happening with her parents?
(1:42:38 PM) kate9881: well, yeah, i figured
(1:42:53 PM) jeremystudiod: its not excactly uncommon amongst hispanic families, statistically..i mean, not to generalize
(1:42:53 PM) kate9881: some of the parents were my age
(1:43:20 PM) kate9881: yeah, unfortunately south phoenix is basically like mexico
(1:43:29 PM) kate9881: not that mexico in general is bad
(1:43:38 PM) kate9881: but compared to the rest of phoenix
(1:44:36 PM) kate9881: the other depressing thing
(1:45:07 PM) kate9881: was that i knew a lot more about effective teaching than most of the other teachers there
(1:45:21 PM) kate9881: and i barely knew what the hell i was doing
(1:45:54 PM) kate9881: some of my kids were further along than 1st graders
(1:47:04 PM) kate9881: brb
(1:47:11 PM) jeremystudiod: ok
(1:47:13 PM) jeremystudiod: <3
(1:52:43 PM) jeremystudiod: she’s back
(1:52:50 PM) kate9881: good grief, i have to restart twice a day
(1:52:57 PM) kate9881: our computers are so awful
(1:53:31 PM) kate9881: and i’m only using google chrome and outlook
(1:53:32 PM) jeremystudiod: we need to get you out of the nonprofit world
(1:53:50 PM) kate9881: that is enough to break this computer
(1:54:15 PM) kate9881: how is it almost 2?
(1:54:23 PM) jeremystudiod: i dont know
(1:54:32 PM) jeremystudiod: tho i was just thinking that today was going kinda slowly
(1:54:42 PM) jeremystudiod: i have a few projects i’m just not motivated to do right now.
(1:54:51 PM) kate9881: it was until our enraging call with wga
(1:54:59 PM) jeremystudiod: “http://twitpic.com/y7kpr – Poster signing picture from last night’s “Planet Hulk” event in Los Angeles.”
(1:55:58 PM) kate9881: oh no! unauthorized photo
(1:56:13 PM) kate9881: let’s send a cease and desist
(1:56:22 PM) jeremystudiod: its from @paleycenter
(1:56:53 PM) kate9881: oh good
(1:56:56 PM) kate9881: nevermind
(1:57:03 PM) jeremystudiod: there was an event in LA?
(1:57:06 PM) kate9881: seriously, NO PHOTOS
(1:57:12 PM) kate9881: yeah, both locations
(1:57:15 PM) jeremystudiod: oh
(1:57:29 PM) jeremystudiod: now there are TWO photos
(1:58:12 PM) kate9881: we scream at people when they attempt to take photos with their phones in our lobby
(1:59:40 PM) jeremystudiod: you’ll be somewhere better soon enough
(2:03:26 PM) jeremystudiod: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/sweden/6990753/Weight-Watchers-clinic-floor-collapses-under-dieters.html
(2:03:30 PM) kate9881: i think my boss permanently wrecked the positive working relationship i had with the WGA organizer
(2:03:40 PM) kate9881: i saw that. π
(2:03:49 PM) jeremystudiod: wahh wahh
(2:04:47 PM) kate9881: those people may never attend another WW meeting!
(2:15:39 PM) jeremystudiod: twilight is the bestselling book of 09
(2:15:57 PM) kate9881: the original?
(2:16:09 PM) jeremystudiod: new moon
(2:16:28 PM) kate9881: ah
(2:16:34 PM) kate9881: yeah, makes sense with the movie i guess
(2:16:51 PM) kate9881: i have not been outside yet
(2:17:18 PM) jeremystudiod: you should go
(2:17:19 PM) jeremystudiod: its nice
(2:17:21 PM) jeremystudiod: for january
(2:17:30 PM) kate9881: yeah, i’m hungry
(2:18:20 PM) jeremystudiod: mercury in retrograde in full effect here
(2:18:30 PM) jeremystudiod: now portland’s server access isn’t working
(2:18:46 PM) kate9881: what’s mercury in retrograde?
(2:19:12 PM) jeremystudiod: http://bit.ly/5jnJyh
(2:19:15 PM) jeremystudiod: that
(2:19:42 PM) kate9881: http://www.deadline.com/hollywood/george-brad-matt-don-jerry-donate-1m-to-haitian-relief-clooney-organizing-jan-22-telethon/
(2:20:11 PM) kate9881: ah, gotcha
(2:20:34 PM) jeremystudiod: didn’t george do the 9/11 one too
(2:20:39 PM) kate9881: i think so
(2:20:47 PM) kate9881: not that i’m a huge fan of these telethons
(2:20:48 PM) kate9881: but
(2:21:38 PM) kate9881: for a second, i thought about suggesting that we maybe think of some way to participate
(2:21:56 PM) kate9881: but we have a stupid other event that night
(2:22:01 PM) jeremystudiod: well thats much more important
(2:22:18 PM) kate9881: some free rental
(2:22:22 PM) kate9881: friend of so-and-so
(2:22:33 PM) kate9881: we’ve done stuff for pangea day
(2:22:40 PM) kate9881: through TED
(2:23:00 PM) kate9881: and since these telethons things are all media-y
(2:23:08 PM) kate9881: but anyway
(2:23:14 PM) kate9881: we will continue ignoring
(2:23:20 PM) jeremystudiod: sweet
(2:23:33 PM) kate9881: oh and and and
(2:23:41 PM) kate9881: we said nothing about art clokey dying
(2:23:55 PM) kate9881: even though there was a big gumby exhibit here a few years ago
(2:24:01 PM) kate9881: and i’m sure there’s plenty of stuff to post
(2:24:08 PM) jeremystudiod: it will be good for you to go somewehere else where there are different frustrationg
(2:24:11 PM) jeremystudiod: frustrations
(2:25:05 PM) kate9881: i mean, i know there are frustrations everywhere
(2:25:11 PM) jeremystudiod: there are
(2:25:11 PM) kate9881: but the weird thing about this place is
(2:25:16 PM) kate9881: we never DO anything
(2:25:19 PM) kate9881: we do so little
(2:25:22 PM) jeremystudiod: it seems like the frustrations are directly in the way of your passion
(2:25:25 PM) kate9881: for having this many employees
(2:25:27 PM) jeremystudiod: which is super frustrating
(2:25:40 PM) jeremystudiod: seems like everyone’s perfected the art of doing the minimum allowed
(2:26:08 PM) kate9881: oh totally
(2:26:14 PM) kate9881: we always laugh about that
(2:26:33 PM) kate9881: and everyone’s great at saying why we can’t do this or that
(2:26:36 PM) kate9881: it’s so negative
(2:26:39 PM) jeremystudiod: sounds like sony
(2:26:45 PM) kate9881: never, here’s how we can
(2:26:48 PM) kate9881: always NO NO NO
(2:26:48 PM) jeremystudiod: yup
(2:26:52 PM) jeremystudiod: live in the solution not in the problem
(2:26:59 PM) jeremystudiod: is LA like that too or is it more of a nyc-specific thing
(2:27:08 PM) kate9881: i have no clue about LA
(2:27:17 PM) kate9881: it’s a different organization essentially
(2:27:23 PM) kate9881: there’s only 10 people
(2:27:31 PM) kate9881: they do their own thing
(2:27:39 PM) jeremystudiod: ah
(2:28:50 PM) jeremystudiod: has your boss talked to you yet?
(2:28:58 PM) jeremystudiod: or even set up a time to do so?
(2:29:08 PM) kate9881: no
(2:29:20 PM) kate9881: i doubt we will see her again today
(2:29:35 PM) jeremystudiod: ok
(2:29:41 PM) jeremystudiod: just didn’t want it hanging over your head or anything
(2:29:43 PM) jeremystudiod: ok brb have a meeting
(2:29:50 PM) jeremystudiod: i love you, this year is gonna rock
(3:54:22 PM) jeremystudiod: whats shakin
(4:01:58 PM) kate9881: just got out of the mtg
(4:02:57 PM) jeremystudiod: how was it
(4:03:27 PM) kate9881: she never mentioned any of the layoffs
(4:03:29 PM) kate9881: somehow
(4:03:36 PM) jeremystudiod: well thats good at least
(4:03:50 PM) kate9881: well, it’s only because she hates conflict
(4:04:29 PM) kate9881: we didn’t really get through much
(4:04:35 PM) jeremystudiod: well i mean
(4:04:37 PM) kate9881: our schedule sucks, blah blah blah
(4:04:48 PM) jeremystudiod: its not like it was a “this is the hardest job a manager has to do” convo
(4:05:11 PM) kate9881: no but she’s always like this
(4:05:13 PM) kate9881: she never tells us anything
(4:05:20 PM) jeremystudiod: she doesn’t let other people be nice to her
(4:05:20 PM) kate9881: that’s unpleasant
(4:06:40 PM) kate9881: and ritty has once again commandeered every event happening in the next two months
(4:07:13 PM) jeremystudiod: did you mention that to your boss?
(4:07:15 PM) jeremystudiod: i mean
(4:07:25 PM) jeremystudiod: at sony when everyone was afraid of losing their jobs, there were constant land grabs
(4:07:28 PM) jeremystudiod: sometimes you need to take them back
(4:08:07 PM) kate9881: it’s complicated
(4:08:26 PM) kate9881: it’s because she has working relationship with the same old people
(4:08:30 PM) kate9881: vh1 and espn
(4:08:44 PM) kate9881: neither of which i care about
(4:08:49 PM) kate9881: those programs are usually shitty promotional things anyway
(4:08:59 PM) kate9881: everything i do i have to start from scratch
(4:09:20 PM) kate9881: plus the head curator brings her in on everything
(4:09:26 PM) kate9881: and not me
(4:09:46 PM) jeremystudiod: what can you do to address it in a small way
(4:09:53 PM) jeremystudiod: it sounds lame and totally familiar
(4:10:08 PM) jeremystudiod: jsut trying to see if theres a way for you to have something to do
(4:10:17 PM) kate9881: i honestly don’t care about addressing it. then i’d just have to work on shitty programs
(4:10:24 PM) kate9881: i have plenty to do
(4:10:51 PM) kate9881: but she has all the stuff happening in the immediate future
(4:10:59 PM) jeremystudiod: i know that but in terms of having the opportunity to work on some of the stuff you care abotu
(4:11:00 PM) jeremystudiod: about
(4:12:42 PM) kate9881: i don’t care about a reggie miller documentary though
(4:12:59 PM) kate9881: or soul train, because they’re not even doing it right
(4:13:10 PM) jeremystudiod: well i’m just thinking because you said that she’s commandeered all the immediate future stuff
(4:13:24 PM) jeremystudiod: is there an immediate futuer thing you can either take back or assist on or start up, something eacy
(4:13:25 PM) jeremystudiod: easy
(4:13:25 PM) kate9881: the wga was the one thing i was working on
(4:13:34 PM) kate9881: and my boss shut that down today
(4:14:12 PM) jeremystudiod: what happened there
(4:15:24 PM) kate9881: she thought it was coming up too fast and too insider-media-y
(4:16:01 PM) kate9881: “economics of digital media”
(4:16:21 PM) jeremystudiod: right
(4:16:38 PM) jeremystudiod: cause certainly the only people thinking of how much it costs to create digital content are ‘insider media’ people
(4:16:40 PM) jeremystudiod: …
(4:16:46 PM) kate9881: i mean, yeah that’s of no interest to our membership. who cares? our members are insane olds
(4:17:09 PM) jeremystudiod: as of may of last year, 20 hours of video are uploaded to youtube every minute
(4:18:03 PM) kate9881: and then the curator was like “we only deal with content”
(4:18:03 PM) kate9881: i dunno
(4:18:09 PM) kate9881: it’s a losing battle
(4:18:20 PM) jeremystudiod: it is
(4:18:22 PM) kate9881: but then
(4:18:29 PM) kate9881: the wga woman was like
(4:18:30 PM) jeremystudiod: sony laid off the cfo of the catalog group
(4:18:47 PM) kate9881: just recently?
(4:18:56 PM) jeremystudiod: this week
(4:21:27 PM) kate9881: yikes
(4:21:29 PM) kate9881: omg
(4:21:32 PM) kate9881: so get this
(4:21:36 PM) jeremystudiod: ?
(4:21:37 PM) kate9881: ritty just came over
(4:21:47 PM) kate9881: apparently after the meeting
(4:21:53 PM) kate9881: or after i went upstairs
(4:22:00 PM) kate9881: my boss “remembered”
(4:22:08 PM) kate9881: to tell us about the closings and layoffs
(4:22:16 PM) jeremystudiod: ok
(4:22:25 PM) kate9881: and told ritty to tell me
(4:22:36 PM) jeremystudiod: sounds professional.
(4:22:43 PM) kate9881: yeah, very
(4:22:45 PM) jeremystudiod: anyone you’d miss?
(4:22:48 PM) jeremystudiod: or did they not say who yet
(4:22:57 PM) kate9881: don’t know who
(4:23:00 PM) jeremystudiod: ok
(4:23:01 PM) kate9881: i mean i know some
(4:23:15 PM) kate9881: but apparently she was like
(4:23:27 PM) kate9881: there’s been panic and rumors that this means we’re closing
(4:23:35 PM) kate9881: blah blah
(4:23:38 PM) jeremystudiod: “i can tell you that thats MONTHS away” π
(4:23:50 PM) kate9881: but this isn’t part of any grand plan
(4:23:52 PM) kate9881: uh huh
(4:23:56 PM) kate9881: riiiiiiiight
(4:24:02 PM) kate9881: we’re doing great!
(4:24:18 PM) jeremystudiod: criterion is doing Paris, Texas
(4:24:24 PM) jeremystudiod: and Ride with the Devil
(4:24:34 PM) jeremystudiod: http://ow.ly/WSjP
(4:24:35 PM) kate9881: with jewel?
(4:24:41 PM) jeremystudiod: yea
(4:24:46 PM) jeremystudiod: i forgot that movie existed
(4:25:56 PM) kate9881: so did we all
(4:32:31 PM) jeremystudiod: <3<3
(4:34:21 PM) kate9881: i just got an invite to some vassar alum thing
(4:34:28 PM) kate9881: with NO location
(4:34:29 PM) kate9881: well done
(4:34:36 PM) jeremystudiod: perfect
(4:34:40 PM) jeremystudiod: you should rsvp saying you’ll go
(4:34:47 PM) jeremystudiod: because no matter where you are, you’ll be ther.
(4:34:48 PM) jeremystudiod: e
(4:34:52 PM) kate9881: but hey, there’s a CASH BAR
(4:35:01 PM) kate9881: and a 10 cover
(4:35:09 PM) kate9881: thanks vassar
(4:35:45 PM) jeremystudiod: do you talk to everyone you’d care to see there?
(4:35:52 PM) jeremystudiod: i feel like facebook > reunions
(4:36:27 PM) kate9881: i was one of the planners of our 5 year reunion and i didn’t even go
(4:36:38 PM) kate9881: i was our class treasurer
(4:36:45 PM) jeremystudiod: nerd
(4:36:48 PM) jeremystudiod: :-*
(4:36:59 PM) kate9881: !
(4:37:01 PM) kate9881: not even
(4:37:11 PM) kate9881: i planned all the parties
(4:48:14 PM) kate9881: i may leave early
(4:48:30 PM) jeremystudiod: ok
(4:48:36 PM) jeremystudiod: i can’t fill out my timesheet
(4:48:38 PM) jeremystudiod: no network access
(4:48:42 PM) jeremystudiod: i’ve gotten very little doe
(4:49:30 PM) jeremystudiod: just hanging at home tonight?
(4:49:51 PM) kate9881: oh i gotta do my timesheet
(4:50:00 PM) kate9881: i don’t know what i’m doing tonight
(4:50:15 PM) kate9881: i’m feeling a little pms-y
(4:50:20 PM) kate9881: my boobs hurt
(4:50:27 PM) kate9881: headache
(4:50:37 PM) jeremystudiod: oh right thats coming up soon
(4:51:27 PM) kate9881: good times, good time
(4:51:33 PM) jeremystudiod: heh
(4:52:00 PM) jeremystudiod: well dont some birth control pills affect the intensity
(4:52:49 PM) kate9881: some. it depends
(4:52:58 PM) kate9881: don’t get too excited though
(4:53:04 PM) kate9881: the doctor may say no
(4:53:09 PM) kate9881: i have a feeling she might
(4:53:13 PM) kate9881: she’s kind of a bitch
(4:53:13 PM) jeremystudiod: i wasn’t getting excited
(4:53:33 PM) jeremystudiod: i was just saying i know it sucks for you when its happening, painwise, so if theres something that could help…
(4:53:41 PM) jeremystudiod: regardless of fringe benefits
(4:54:00 PM) jeremystudiod: just tell her your boyfriend is vesuvius
(4:54:09 PM) kate9881: um
(4:54:24 PM) jeremystudiod: heh
(4:54:34 PM) jeremystudiod: http://pulsejfk.com/pulses/muppets-take-manhattan-6548 !!
(4:54:36 PM) kate9881: i have a weird feeling she may be a man-hatin’ super lesbian
(4:54:58 PM) kate9881: !
(4:56:41 PM) kate9881: together again
(5:06:55 PM) jeremystudiod: pornstars on twitter are so amusing
(5:08:12 PM) jeremystudiod: http://www.avclub.com/articles/obriens-ratings-skyrocketing-tonight-show-pulling,37145/
(5:10:30 PM) jeremystudiod: read this
(5:10:31 PM) jeremystudiod: http://altitudebranding.com/2010/01/being-the-constructive-heretic/
(5:17:40 PM) kate9881: i would like a pair of patience pants
(5:18:01 PM) jeremystudiod: can i get into your patience pants?
(5:18:34 PM) kate9881: you would not ask me that if you were also wearing patience pants
(5:18:59 PM) jeremystudiod: ding
(5:19:04 PM) jeremystudiod: i would have also accepted “eventually”
(5:19:44 PM) kate9881: wow
(5:19:56 PM) kate9881: quite the comedian
(5:20:04 PM) jeremystudiod: funny and hot
(5:20:05 PM) jeremystudiod: thats me
(5:21:05 PM) kate9881: yes, i’m very lucky
(5:21:23 PM) jeremystudiod: you say that jokingly but i know you mean it so i love you
(5:21:28 PM) kate9881: angela said she was going to tell me about the muppets
(5:21:33 PM) kate9881: i didn’t say that jokingly
(5:21:36 PM) jeremystudiod: oh
(5:21:37 PM) jeremystudiod: ok
(5:21:38 PM) jeremystudiod: π
(5:21:39 PM) jeremystudiod: :-*
(5:21:49 PM) jeremystudiod: sometimes i assume sarcasm where none exists
(5:21:51 PM) kate9881: there wasn’t any winky face or punctuation that would imply joking
(5:32:01 PM) jeremystudiod: fair point
(5:32:20 PM) kate9881: i am lucky. you’re the bestest
(5:33:15 PM) jeremystudiod: <3<3
(5:33:25 PM) jeremystudiod: we’re tied for bestest
(5:33:43 PM) kate9881: true
(5:39:49 PM) kate9881: oh man, i said i was gonna leave at 5:30
(5:40:03 PM) jeremystudiod: youd id
(5:40:15 PM) kate9881: 5:45
(5:40:18 PM) kate9881: i gotta
(5:40:24 PM) jeremystudiod: ok
(5:41:10 PM) jeremystudiod: http://apps.facebook.com/ilike/concert/Spoon/10454958
(5:41:21 PM) kate9881: yes, i saw it the first three times π
(5:41:35 PM) jeremystudiod: oh did it send to you via facebook?
(5:41:38 PM) jeremystudiod: it was giving me an error
(5:41:43 PM) kate9881: yes
(5:41:49 PM) jeremystudiod: sorry
(5:41:57 PM) kate9881: damn you!
(5:42:17 PM) jeremystudiod: π
(5:42:23 PM) jeremystudiod: :'(
(5:42:41 PM) kate9881: no wait, i don’t want you to burn in hell
(5:42:46 PM) kate9881: i take it back
(5:42:49 PM) jeremystudiod: yay!
(5:45:22 PM) jeremystudiod: how am i so busy and have gotten nothing done
(5:45:22 PM) jeremystudiod: :/;
(5:49:59 PM) jeremystudiod: go home
(5:50:05 PM) kate9881: yeah i will
(5:50:11 PM) kate9881: i’m just chatting w/ ange
(5:50:19 PM) jeremystudiod: what did she want to tell you about the muppets
(5:50:20 PM) jeremystudiod: tell her i say hi
(5:50:25 PM) kate9881: i asked her if everyone’s hanging out without me lately
(5:50:41 PM) kate9881: and she was like, you’re always busy with your man
(5:50:45 PM) jeremystudiod: aw
(5:50:54 PM) kate9881: and i was like, you never even invite me anywhere
(5:51:03 PM) jeremystudiod: tell her to invite us both! i like your friends
(5:51:15 PM) jeremystudiod: and you guys can sneak off and talk about me
(5:51:15 PM) jeremystudiod: heh
(5:51:46 PM) jeremystudiod: tho i think early days of a relationship are okay to readjust a balance of hangtime
(5:51:47 PM) kate9881: she said they’re not all hanging out
(5:51:50 PM) jeremystudiod: ok
(5:54:00 PM) kate9881: she said they want to hang out some time
(5:54:08 PM) kate9881: so, are we going to spoon?
(5:54:25 PM) jeremystudiod: if we can get tix we should go
(5:54:38 PM) kate9881: are they on sale yet
(5:54:52 PM) jeremystudiod: pre-order was
(5:54:57 PM) kate9881: oh right
(5:55:11 PM) jeremystudiod: which of course i’d forgotten tossing up for
(5:55:18 PM) kate9881: tossing up!
(5:55:24 PM) kate9881: sounds dirty
(5:55:28 PM) jeremystudiod: whoa
(5:55:29 PM) jeremystudiod: SIGNING up for
(5:57:20 PM) kate9881: ange said they’re buying kaki king tix
(5:57:43 PM) jeremystudiod: what venue?
(5:57:57 PM) jeremystudiod: i hear she’s good live
(5:58:42 PM) kate9881: bowery
(5:59:33 PM) kate9881: april 16
(6:00:38 PM) jeremystudiod: ok
(6:00:40 PM) jeremystudiod: are we invited?
(6:01:02 PM) kate9881: yes
(6:01:52 PM) kate9881: they’re bringing bhavi’s ex-boyfriend, so she didn’t want to send out a mass email to everyone
(6:02:06 PM) jeremystudiod: do people not like him?
(6:02:36 PM) kate9881: no, well, he was a friend of mikael’s, and then he broke bhavi’s heart and it was horrible
(6:02:45 PM) jeremystudiod: oh
(6:02:52 PM) kate9881: so he can’t really hang out with everyone b/c of bhavi
(6:02:56 PM) jeremystudiod: got it
(6:03:02 PM) kate9881: but he’s still friends with mikael
(6:03:08 PM) kate9881: he’s actually a nice guy
(6:03:13 PM) kate9881: just handled things badly
(6:03:13 PM) jeremystudiod: just didn’t work out?
(6:03:14 PM) jeremystudiod: ah
(6:03:15 PM) jeremystudiod: yeah
(6:03:20 PM) kate9881: i’ll tell you some time
(6:03:21 PM) jeremystudiod: ok
(6:04:35 PM) jeremystudiod: dammit!
(6:04:39 PM) kate9881: ?
(6:04:40 PM) jeremystudiod: suzanne vega is playing tonight and i forgot π
(6:04:43 PM) jeremystudiod: i always miss her
(6:04:48 PM) kate9881: in new york?
(6:04:50 PM) jeremystudiod: yeah
(6:04:52 PM) jeremystudiod: at city winery
(6:05:02 PM) kate9881: can you go after your dinner?
(6:07:37 PM) jeremystudiod: maybe
(6:07:44 PM) jeremystudiod: kaki king at bowery or at williamsburg music hall
(6:08:13 PM) kate9881: they’re going to bowery
(6:08:36 PM) jeremystudiod: ok
(6:08:43 PM) jeremystudiod: should i get 2 tix?
(6:14:22 PM) kate9881: sure
(6:16:41 PM) jeremystudiod: ticketmaster.com is a very high-pressure site.
(6:16:42 PM) jeremystudiod: o
(6:16:42 PM) jeremystudiod: done
(6:16:50 PM) jeremystudiod: two tix for 4/16 at bowery
(6:16:58 PM) jeremystudiod: so we have to stay together at least til then π
(6:17:36 PM) kate9881: yeah, ange just pointed that out
(6:17:52 PM) kate9881: i was like, yeah, i’m pretty confident π
(6:18:23 PM) jeremystudiod: hee
(6:18:24 PM) jeremystudiod: aww
(6:18:25 PM) jeremystudiod: me too
(6:18:33 PM) jeremystudiod: i didn’t even think about it
(6:18:39 PM) kate9881: me neither
(6:19:22 PM) jeremystudiod: http://www.readwriteweb.com/archives/top_10_youtube_videos_of_all_time.php
(6:21:47 PM) kate9881: this is lame but i thought about trying to go to a nada surf show
(6:21:56 PM) kate9881: and when i checked, it was sold out
(6:21:56 PM) jeremystudiod: my friend kelly LOVES nada surf
(6:22:03 PM) jeremystudiod: they were doing full albums
(6:22:06 PM) kate9881: they are doing 3 album shows
(6:22:07 PM) kate9881: yep
(6:22:14 PM) kate9881: the first two are sold out
(6:22:20 PM) jeremystudiod: thats not lame
(6:22:20 PM) kate9881: the last one, i’m not all that crazy about
(6:22:25 PM) jeremystudiod: i liked “let go”
(6:22:26 PM) kate9881: it is a little
(6:22:31 PM) jeremystudiod: inside of love is a great song
(6:22:36 PM) kate9881: i’ve already seen them live
(6:22:44 PM) kate9881: so it’s not a huge deal
(6:22:55 PM) jeremystudiod: kristie’s friend accidently made out with the singer
(6:23:01 PM) kate9881: but intellectually, i know they aren’t that good
(6:23:16 PM) kate9881: yeah, i think you mentioned that
(6:24:14 PM) kate9881: inside of love is a really sad song to listen to when you are single
(6:25:00 PM) jeremystudiod: yes
(6:25:04 PM) jeremystudiod: not that i did that
(6:26:03 PM) jeremystudiod: ok
(6:26:04 PM) jeremystudiod: GO HOME
(6:27:48 PM) jeremystudiod: i’m gonna head to dinner
(6:27:59 PM) kate9881: cool
(6:28:03 PM) kate9881: i’m leaving too
(6:28:05 PM) jeremystudiod: sweeet
(6:28:10 PM) kate9881: ritty just told me to leave
(6:28:24 PM) jeremystudiod: i love you lots, lady. it’s all gonna work out. get some cleaning or organizing or something done tonight
(6:28:32 PM) jeremystudiod: and we get a whole weekend plus some together!
(6:28:37 PM) kate9881: yeah
(6:28:39 PM) kate9881: fun times
(6:28:47 PM) jeremystudiod: yes.
(6:28:49 PM) jeremystudiod: indeed
(6:28:53 PM) jeremystudiod: we can try out the slow cooker
(6:28:53 PM) kate9881: have fun
(6:28:56 PM) kate9881: totally
(6:28:57 PM) jeremystudiod: will do
(6:29:00 PM) kate9881: love you lots
(6:29:00 PM) jeremystudiod: <3<3
(6:29:03 PM) kate9881: bye!
10:05
(10:08:26 AM) kate9881: well
(10:08:34 AM) jeremystudiod: well well
(10:08:35 AM) kate9881: yeah, that went pretty much like i thought
(10:08:38 AM) jeremystudiod: ?
(10:09:00 AM) kate9881: i have to wait for the gynecologist
(10:09:06 AM) jeremystudiod: ok
(10:09:12 AM) jeremystudiod: how was the physical otherwise
(10:09:30 AM) kate9881: and do some fasting blood tests
(10:09:46 AM) jeremystudiod: hmm
(10:09:50 AM) jeremystudiod: for the thyroid stuff?
(10:09:53 AM) kate9881: fine. i actually lost a little more weight
(10:09:58 AM) jeremystudiod: nice
(10:09:59 AM) jeremystudiod: π
10:10
(10:10:12 AM) jeremystudiod: i mean you know i love you regardless, but since thats a goal of yours π
(10:10:32 AM) kate9881: well i assumed i would have gained some b/c of the not running and xmas eating and stuff
(10:10:36 AM) jeremystudiod: right
(10:13:31 AM) kate9881: although she said the breath test thing was not as good as before
(10:13:42 AM) kate9881: i think it’s just because of the winter
(10:14:35 AM) jeremystudiod: i guess all our one-meal days paid off
(10:14:44 AM) jeremystudiod: did you get blood work done?
(10:14:55 AM) kate9881: no i have to go to a lab
10:15
(10:15:01 AM) jeremystudiod: ah ok
(10:15:07 AM) kate9881: and be fasting and do some weird special test thing
(10:15:12 AM) jeremystudiod: for what?
(10:15:28 AM) kate9881: oh i dunno. she wants to rule out some bacterial thing in my stomach
(10:15:33 AM) jeremystudiod: ahh
(10:15:45 AM) kate9881: but you have to fast and take a pill beforehand
(10:15:58 AM) jeremystudiod: so no eating this week?
(10:16:19 AM) kate9881: no, just 6 hours
(10:16:27 AM) jeremystudiod: oh ok
(10:16:29 AM) kate9881: but i have to wait a couple weeks
(10:16:45 AM) kate9881: b/c i need to not be taking this other medication to do the test
(10:16:48 AM) jeremystudiod: but overall things look good? did you get yelled at for anything?
(10:16:49 AM) kate9881: it’s complicated
(10:17:02 AM) kate9881: she did say i need a massage
(10:17:03 AM) kate9881: hahahaha
(10:17:10 AM) kate9881: she felt my shoulders
(10:17:14 AM) kate9881: and was like “oh my god”
(10:17:34 AM) jeremystudiod: hmm
(10:17:35 AM) jeremystudiod: ok
(10:17:51 AM) jeremystudiod: well you do have all that work drama stress floating around
(10:18:25 AM) kate9881: yeah. i know my shoulders are always tight
(10:18:35 AM) kate9881: but i can’t really get massages
(10:18:38 AM) kate9881: it kinda hurts
(10:19:16 AM) kate9881: my back is really sensitive
(10:19:29 AM) jeremystudiod: maybe acupuncture?
10:20
(10:20:26 AM) kate9881: for the tension?
(10:20:33 AM) jeremystudiod: yeah
(10:21:24 AM) kate9881: i dunno. i think i’m too dubious for that
(10:21:32 AM) jeremystudiod: i mean
(10:21:37 AM) jeremystudiod: you could give it a shot
(10:21:51 AM) jeremystudiod: certainly any skilled acupuncturist has dealt with dubious folks before π
(10:21:59 AM) kate9881: i’m sure
(10:22:10 AM) jeremystudiod: just a thought
(10:22:11 AM) kate9881: i think it’s more like
(10:22:38 AM) kate9881: having tight shoulders doesn’t really bother me. it seems to bother people who touch me
(10:22:45 AM) jeremystudiod: heh
(10:22:58 AM) jeremystudiod: well i mean… my shoulders are pretty ridonkulous too
(10:23:03 AM) jeremystudiod: my muscles in general
(10:23:11 AM) jeremystudiod: maybe we just dont have anything to compare it to
(10:23:25 AM) kate9881: i guess
(10:23:38 AM) kate9881: i just mean, it’s not like i’m wandering around uncomfortable all day
(10:23:58 AM) kate9881: it’s only when other people squeeze my shoulders in an uncomfortable way
(10:24:02 AM) kate9881: that i even notice
(10:24:09 AM) jeremystudiod: hey you dont have to talk me into it…was just sayin if massages hurt then acupuncture may achieve similar results without the pain of it
(10:24:17 AM) kate9881: no i know
(10:24:46 AM) kate9881: i just think it’s kind of strange like, you’re in a doctor’s office in a paper gown and they’re all surprised that you seem stressed
(10:24:51 AM) kate9881: it’s a stressful situation
(10:24:55 AM) jeremystudiod: heh
(10:24:55 AM) jeremystudiod: it is
10:25
(10:25:06 AM) jeremystudiod: a sexy sexy stressful situation
(10:25:15 AM) kate9881: oh and get this
(10:25:43 AM) kate9881: so at one point, the doctor’s like, ‘i’m really sore, i went to the gym last night for the first time in 3 years”
(10:25:46 AM) kate9881: like WTF!
(10:25:54 AM) kate9881: you’re scolding me?!
(10:26:10 AM) kate9881: she’s heavier than i am
(10:26:22 AM) jeremystudiod: do as i say not as i do, i guess
(10:26:24 AM) jeremystudiod: doctors are people too
(10:26:26 AM) kate9881: yeah
(10:26:29 AM) kate9881: no i know
(10:26:30 AM) jeremystudiod: kinda
(10:26:43 AM) kate9881: but then i think they should be more empathetic
(10:26:51 AM) jeremystudiod: i agree
(10:26:54 AM) kate9881: or she should
(10:27:03 AM) jeremystudiod: hey, i’ve had enough doctors call me fat throughout the years as if it would be total news to me
(10:27:40 AM) kate9881: yeah “oh really? gee i hadn’t ever thought about that!”
(10:28:17 AM) jeremystudiod: “wow here all this time i thought i was too skinny! you mean i have an increased risk of heart disease? boy that doesn’t make me want to go home and eat a pizza topped with oreos to make the shame go away!”
(10:28:55 AM) kate9881: pizza topped with oreos
(10:29:10 AM) jeremystudiod: yeah i dunno where that came from
(10:29:17 AM) kate9881: somewhere, that’s a real dish
(10:29:30 AM) jeremystudiod: and its probably on thisiswhyyourefat.com
(10:29:42 AM) kate9881: yes
10:35
(10:35:20 AM) kate9881: how are you this morning?
(10:35:33 AM) jeremystudiod: eh
(10:35:38 AM) jeremystudiod: i mean i’m good but work is eh
(10:37:10 AM) kate9881: right
(10:37:22 AM) kate9881: well, at least it’s tuesday
(10:37:24 AM) kate9881: and not monday
(10:37:36 AM) jeremystudiod: yes
(10:37:41 AM) jeremystudiod: i’m doing my timesheet!
(10:37:51 AM) jeremystudiod: and then i have to redo my self-evaluation because it wasn’t accurate enough!
(10:37:52 AM) jeremystudiod: or something
(10:39:58 AM) kate9881: you weren’t accurate enough about yourself?
10:40
(10:40:16 AM) jeremystudiod: in the context of the questions they wanted answered
(10:44:00 AM) jeremystudiod: http://www.charlierose.com/view/interview/10824
(10:44:03 AM) jeremystudiod: the zuckerview
(10:44:21 AM) kate9881: did you watch it
(10:44:50 AM) jeremystudiod: no
(10:44:58 AM) jeremystudiod: i’m too busy doing my timesheet
10:45
(10:45:03 AM) jeremystudiod: and accounting for all of my time
(10:45:14 AM) jeremystudiod: since thats the best use of my time
(10:47:40 AM) kate9881: of course
10:50
(10:53:12 AM) jeremystudiod: so you didn’t get yelled at for anything at the dr?
10:55
(10:58:02 AM) kate9881: you are very concerned about that
(10:58:04 AM) kate9881: hahaha
(10:58:23 AM) jeremystudiod: well only because you said she always yells at you about something and you end up feeling bad
(10:59:18 AM) jeremystudiod: http://www.coachella.com/updates/news#2010lineup
11:00
(11:02:15 AM) kate9881: ooh
(11:02:20 AM) kate9881: muse headlining?
(11:02:23 AM) kate9881: thanks, twilight
(11:02:26 AM) jeremystudiod: uyp
(11:03:24 AM) jeremystudiod: i dunno, coachella is always ALMOST good enough to brave the desert
(11:03:33 AM) kate9881: if those festivals weren’t such clusterf*cks, i’d be more interested
(11:03:44 AM) kate9881: 3 days of assholes
(11:04:02 AM) jeremystudiod: except lilith fair
(11:04:15 AM) jeremystudiod: coachella especially is pretty heinous, music industry douchebagwise
(11:04:43 AM) kate9881: yeah i can imagine
(11:04:52 AM) jeremystudiod: i’m listening to the new Spoon
11:05
(11:05:04 AM) kate9881: oh yeah?
(11:05:21 AM) jeremystudiod: its not as good as i was hoping
(11:05:42 AM) kate9881: well, maybe it’s just the first listen
(11:05:50 AM) kate9881: it usually takes me a couple times
(11:06:14 AM) jeremystudiod: ceu and sia are both playing
(11:06:54 AM) kate9881: and devo
(11:07:17 AM) jeremystudiod: therse a band called “Hadouken!”
(11:07:20 AM) jeremystudiod: i think i hate them
(11:07:30 AM) kate9881: just from the name?
(11:07:38 AM) jeremystudiod: yes
(11:07:45 AM) jeremystudiod: http://www.lala.com/#album/1801721326119947844/Spoon/Transference
(11:08:40 AM) jeremystudiod: http://tweetphoto.com/9079235
(11:08:45 AM) jeremystudiod: its got thom yorke with a bunch of question marks
(11:08:48 AM) jeremystudiod: way to be reliable there, dude
(11:09:14 AM) kate9881: ha
(11:09:26 AM) kate9881: what’s the deal with lcd soundsystem
(11:09:40 AM) jeremystudiod: what do you mean
(11:09:47 AM) kate9881: new album?
(11:09:57 AM) jeremystudiod: oh
(11:09:58 AM) jeremystudiod: no idea
11:10
(11:10:02 AM) kate9881: i kind of don’t get why people are that into him
(11:10:24 AM) kate9881: a couple years ago i went to see arcade fire
(11:10:35 AM) kate9881: and he was one of the openers
(11:10:40 AM) jeremystudiod: he’s ironic
(11:10:42 AM) kate9881: and there were these kids in front of us
(11:10:47 AM) kate9881: (from vassar, strangely)
(11:10:53 AM) jeremystudiod: he wrote a song about daft punk!
(11:10:58 AM) kate9881: who were sooooo excited about him
(11:11:17 AM) kate9881: and it’s like, “eh, sounds just like the album”
(11:11:50 AM) kate9881: he’s just a dude
(11:12:03 AM) kate9881: it’s not like he has some super exciting stage presence
(11:14:03 AM) kate9881: someone is printing out page after page at the printer
(11:14:07 AM) kate9881: and it’s driving me insane
(11:14:26 AM) kate9881: it stops, it starts, it stops, it starts
(11:14:42 AM) jeremystudiod: WHAT THE FUCK IS PC LOAD LETTER
(11:14:50 AM) kate9881: sounds dirty
(11:14:59 AM) jeremystudiod: can i load your letter?
11:15
(11:15:05 AM) kate9881: uh huh
11:20
(11:23:06 AM) jeremystudiod: http://www.theonion.com/content/video/final_season_of_lost_promises_to?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter
(11:23:19 AM) kate9881: yeah, saw it
11:25
(11:26:23 AM) kate9881: i really like the laura veirs album, btw
(11:26:28 AM) jeremystudiod: π
(11:26:34 AM) kate9881: finally got to listen through a couple times
(11:26:36 AM) jeremystudiod: i have her last one you’re welcome to
(11:28:04 AM) kate9881: holy crap, health insurance is expensive
(11:28:32 AM) kate9881: i’m thinking of downgrading to the crappier plan
11:40
(11:41:09 AM) kate9881: john travolta is sending scientology ministers to haiti
(11:41:11 AM) kate9881: thank god!
(11:41:17 AM) jeremystudiod: or thank xenu
(11:41:25 AM) kate9881: same thing
(11:41:29 AM) jeremystudiod: cause you know what those people need right now is more religion
(11:41:47 AM) kate9881: yep
(11:42:36 AM) jeremystudiod: the grammys are next week?
(11:43:05 AM) kate9881: the grammys still exist?
11:45
(11:46:08 AM) jeremystudiod: apparently
(11:46:19 AM) jeremystudiod: tho i hear its basically just a way to give beyonce more stuff
(11:47:03 AM) kate9881: and she needs it
11:50
(11:53:24 AM) jeremystudiod: totally
(11:53:27 AM) jeremystudiod: totally underrated
(11:53:51 AM) kate9881: working on the resume
(11:54:03 AM) jeremystudiod: ok cool
(11:54:13 AM) kate9881: i can’t bring myself to do work
12:00
(12:00:13 PM) kate9881: well this is weird
(12:00:19 PM) jeremystudiod: ?
(12:00:28 PM) kate9881: we’re doing this really dumb thing with wnet
(12:00:39 PM) kate9881: it’s a long story
(12:00:48 PM) kate9881: anyway, basically we have to invite all these old people to do one-on-ones
(12:00:50 PM) jeremystudiod: ok
(12:01:19 PM) kate9881: and my boss was like “kate, why do you work on the invitation letter”
(12:01:37 PM) kate9881: and i think i made a face or something
(12:01:42 PM) kate9881: b/c i fucking HATE this shit
(12:01:56 PM) kate9881: and ritty was all like “i’ll work on it too”
(12:02:00 PM) kate9881: so anyway
(12:02:06 PM) kate9881: that was like more than a week ago
(12:02:13 PM) kate9881: so i never did anything with it
(12:02:25 PM) jeremystudiod: hmm…ok
(12:02:30 PM) kate9881: i just totally didn’t even think about it
(12:02:38 PM) jeremystudiod: ok
(12:02:45 PM) kate9881: because this whole thing is stupid
(12:03:21 PM) kate9881: so anyway, just now, ritty sends out an email with a draft of the letter
(12:03:25 PM) kate9881: that she wrote, i guess
(12:04:27 PM) kate9881: she sent to to our boss and the curators and me
(12:04:37 PM) kate9881: now, i guess i should have worked on it
(12:04:48 PM) jeremystudiod: yeah i mean
(12:04:57 PM) jeremystudiod: even though you think its dumb doesn’t mean its not a priority for other people
(12:04:59 PM) kate9881: but i think it’s weird that she didn’t send it to me first
12:05
(12:05:32 PM) jeremystudiod: well maybe she assumed you wouldn’t be working on it?
(12:05:40 PM) kate9881: maybe? i dunno
(12:05:52 PM) kate9881: i think at our last meeting i said i was working on it
(12:05:54 PM) kate9881: (lie)
(12:06:22 PM) kate9881: but our boss was specifically like “kate, you are good at writing these letters”
(12:06:37 PM) jeremystudiod: well thats nice, to be recognized for your writing talents at least
(12:06:56 PM) kate9881: wow, i’m good at writing form letters. yay me
(12:06:57 PM) kate9881: hahahaha
(12:07:04 PM) jeremystudiod: *shrug* not everyone is
(12:07:27 PM) kate9881: i’m tempted to quickly write up my own letter
(12:07:32 PM) kate9881: and send it to my boss
(12:07:37 PM) jeremystudiod: so do it
(12:07:43 PM) jeremystudiod: since it sounds like its what you want to do
(12:07:47 PM) jeremystudiod: let them decide which one to use
(12:07:49 PM) kate9881: eh, i kinda don’t feel like it
(12:07:53 PM) jeremystudiod: it’ll take you 10 minutes
(12:07:56 PM) kate9881: i don’t want this WNET thing to happen
(12:08:17 PM) jeremystudiod: it seems like they have a talent for stuff not happening regardless of whether you do your part, and at least this way you will have done what was asked of you
(12:08:36 PM) kate9881: i guess
(12:08:44 PM) jeremystudiod: dont screw yourself over unnecessarily
(12:09:03 PM) kate9881: i know, but i just don’t care anymore
(12:09:18 PM) jeremystudiod: i know you dont, but if its easy for you, you might as well do the minimum
(12:09:32 PM) jeremystudiod: its easy to get into a spiral of dont care/dont work/get yelled at/get resentful/dont care
(12:09:35 PM) jeremystudiod: until they get rid of you
(12:09:44 PM) kate9881: i know
12:10
(12:10:21 PM) jeremystudiod: so i think if you can knock out a letter in 15mins, might as well do it
12:15
(12:15:44 PM) jeremystudiod: ok gonna go grab some lunch
(12:15:46 PM) jeremystudiod: <3
12:30
(12:31:17 PM) jeremystudiod: back
12:35
(12:36:45 PM) kate9881: i’m writing the letter
(12:37:00 PM) jeremystudiod: ok
(12:38:42 PM) kate9881: i hate writing BS
(12:39:05 PM) jeremystudiod: believe me i understand
(12:39:11 PM) kate9881: i know
12:50
(12:52:45 PM) jeremystudiod: wow
12:55
(12:57:36 PM) kate9881: wow?
(12:57:40 PM) jeremystudiod: http://ethicaloptimist.com/2010/01/18/royal-caribbeans-boneheaded-move-a-pr-nightmare/
(12:58:04 PM) kate9881: ok, i sent my boss a draft of the letter
(12:58:08 PM) kate9881: ah well
(12:58:11 PM) jeremystudiod: well done
(12:58:58 PM) kate9881: are ships even allowed to dock there?
13:05
(1:08:28 PM) kate9881: ugh. i need to figure out this kevin pollak thing
(1:08:33 PM) jeremystudiod: is he bugging you?
(1:08:40 PM) kate9881: no, i just need to respond
(1:08:43 PM) jeremystudiod: maybe he’ll be in NY for the premiere of the kevin smith thing?
(1:08:54 PM) kate9881: i had a long talk with the clearances person
(1:08:59 PM) kate9881: hmmm
(1:09:10 PM) kate9881: what’s the release date on that?
(1:09:13 PM) kate9881: feb, right?
(1:09:35 PM) jeremystudiod: checking
(1:09:48 PM) jeremystudiod: 2/26
13:10
(1:10:06 PM) kate9881: fab
(1:10:08 PM) kate9881: thanks
(1:10:14 PM) jeremystudiod: yw
(1:11:38 PM) kate9881: what’d you have for lunch?
(1:11:46 PM) jeremystudiod: miso soup and salmon sushi
(1:12:58 PM) kate9881: i love that nbc’s media site is all “conan tops letterman in key demos, best ratings ever!!!”
(1:13:05 PM) jeremystudiod: hee
(1:13:08 PM) jeremystudiod: lemonade!
(1:13:18 PM) kate9881: yep
13:15
(1:15:18 PM) jeremystudiod: http://twitpic.com/yqo5h
(1:15:19 PM) jeremystudiod: hee
(1:15:40 PM) kate9881: whoa
(1:15:45 PM) kate9881: totally jeffersonian
13:20
(1:24:48 PM) kate9881: what do i want for lunch
13:25
(1:25:05 PM) jeremystudiod: BTW the smoking gun/wyclef article was a fabrication
(1:25:37 PM) kate9881: dude, wyclef himself admitting that the organization has problmes
(1:25:45 PM) kate9881: admitted. oy
(1:25:54 PM) jeremystudiod: all orgs have problems
(1:25:58 PM) kate9881: yes but
(1:26:03 PM) jeremystudiod: the specific accusations were not accurate
(1:26:10 PM) kate9881: he is not set up to provide immediate aid to haiti
(1:26:21 PM) kate9881: he doesn’t have the infrastructure
(1:27:38 PM) kate9881: i’m not saying wyclef is a bad guy
(1:28:07 PM) kate9881: i just think that people are giving him money b/c of his celebrity
(1:28:22 PM) kate9881: without doing the research about where the money would help most right now
(1:29:35 PM) jeremystudiod: well ppl are doing the same thing with the red cross
13:30
(1:30:09 PM) kate9881: i know
(1:30:27 PM) kate9881: i didn’t say red cross was perfect either
(1:30:39 PM) jeremystudiod: yes you did!
(1:30:40 PM) jeremystudiod: π
(1:30:40 PM) kate9881: essentially all these organizations are giant behemoths
(1:30:58 PM) jeremystudiod: large non-profits are like the worst of all possible worlds, effectiveness-wise
(1:32:01 PM) kate9881: well, it’s impossible to send someone’s money directly from a text into the hands of a needy haitian
(1:32:16 PM) jeremystudiod: …yet.
(1:32:43 PM) kate9881: unfortunately haiti is ridiculously screwed up in any case
13:35
(1:37:54 PM) jeremystudiod: everyplace is
(1:37:56 PM) jeremystudiod: except denmark
(1:38:17 PM) kate9881: well, haiti is pretty corrupt
(1:38:35 PM) kate9881: unfortunately, none of us probably cared too much before this happened
(1:39:06 PM) jeremystudiod: theres only so many hours in the day for caring
(1:39:15 PM) kate9881: yes
(1:39:37 PM) jeremystudiod: this is supposed to be the stuff our big govt cares about and lets us know how we can help
13:40
(1:41:08 PM) kate9881: i doubt haiti was first on the big gov’t’s list either
13:45
(1:47:25 PM) jeremystudiod: lots of countries having problems
(1:47:30 PM) jeremystudiod: can’t fix everything
(1:48:02 PM) kate9881: nope
(1:48:43 PM) jeremystudiod: http://www.ranker.com/list/the-10-most-bizarre-sex-ed-videos/ian-tindell
13:55
(1:56:41 PM) kate9881: oh yes, mental hygiene
(1:56:52 PM) kate9881: i should lend you my mental hygiene book
(1:56:55 PM) kate9881: it’s really funny
(1:57:07 PM) kate9881: we did a series at moving image with those films
(1:57:52 PM) jeremystudiod: π
(1:58:42 PM) kate9881: must eat lunch
(1:59:23 PM) jeremystudiod: you want a fruit salad and a chicken quesadilla
(1:59:41 PM) kate9881: no
(1:59:42 PM) kate9881: sorry
(1:59:49 PM) jeremystudiod: you want…
(1:59:59 PM) jeremystudiod: edamame and a steamed pork bun
14:00
(2:00:18 PM) jeremystudiod: you want… bacon and bacon bacon
(2:00:45 PM) kate9881: i think i will have to settle for salad or something
(2:00:49 PM) kate9881: maybe udon
(2:00:55 PM) jeremystudiod: salad with bacon?
(2:01:16 PM) kate9881: i’m restricting myself to bacon only when i’m with you
(2:01:26 PM) kate9881: otherwise it’s just too much bacon temptation
(2:03:08 PM) jeremystudiod: http://okgo.forumsunlimited.com/index.php?showtopic=4169
(2:03:11 PM) jeremystudiod: fair enough
(2:03:20 PM) jeremystudiod: i really only have it at rshotel and with you
14:05
(2:08:24 PM) kate9881: i just wrote the craziest BS about emma roberts
(2:08:25 PM) kate9881: hahahaha
(2:08:32 PM) kate9881: i hate this invites
14:25
(2:26:32 PM) kate9881: ok, finally going to lunch
(2:26:43 PM) jeremystudiod: yay
14:45
(2:46:14 PM) kate9881: soup
14:50
(2:51:02 PM) jeremystudiod: C:\Users\jmeyers\Downloads
(2:51:03 PM) jeremystudiod: oops
(2:51:08 PM) jeremystudiod: http://modite.com/blog/2007/07/23/skip-grad-school-life-is-better-with-experience/
14:55
(2:57:29 PM) kate9881: well
(2:57:34 PM) kate9881: my first thought is
(2:57:41 PM) kate9881: is she a grad school drop out
(2:57:46 PM) kate9881: my second thought is
(2:58:13 PM) kate9881: blogging doesn’t make you an expert on jobs in the real world
(2:58:14 PM) kate9881: that said
(2:58:18 PM) kate9881: i basically agree
(2:58:31 PM) kate9881: grad school is a waste of time like 95% of the time
(2:58:49 PM) kate9881: however
(2:59:01 PM) kate9881: because i realize that
(2:59:15 PM) kate9881: that’s why i only wanted to apply to that one program
(2:59:35 PM) kate9881: because the whole point of it was to funnel people into the media business
(2:59:40 PM) kate9881: who actually know stuff
15:00
(3:03:59 PM) kate9881: i just get annoyed when bloggers are all “you want to really make a difference? BLOG! START YOUR OWN BUSINESS!”
(3:04:20 PM) kate9881: ok, thanks, i’ll just tap into that trust fund!
(3:04:23 PM) jeremystudiod: heh
(3:04:24 PM) jeremystudiod: i mean
(3:04:24 PM) jeremystudiod: i get it
(3:04:47 PM) jeremystudiod: i do think having a blog with quality content in the field that you’re interested in can definitely help in the job finding process
(3:04:55 PM) jeremystudiod: its a tiny fraction of a percent of people who make money from blogging
15:05
(3:05:01 PM) jeremystudiod: even the most popular bloggers have actual jobs
(3:05:23 PM) kate9881: i know
(3:05:24 PM) kate9881: but
(3:05:41 PM) kate9881: i think part of the whole “c’mon start bloggin'” thing is because
(3:05:49 PM) kate9881: it makes lonely bloggers feel better
(3:05:53 PM) jeremystudiod: heh
(3:05:55 PM) jeremystudiod: quite possible
(3:05:58 PM) kate9881: maybe lonely is not the right word
(3:06:18 PM) kate9881: but by saying “this makes a HUGE difference!” it means their blogging is worthwhile
(3:06:30 PM) kate9881: and i’m not saying it always isn’t
(3:07:00 PM) kate9881: but there’s like 10 sides to that topic
(3:07:20 PM) kate9881: and in her way-cool blogging, she’s very flip
(3:07:59 PM) kate9881: “preparation is hesitation”
(3:08:07 PM) kate9881: that sounds good on a blog
(3:08:26 PM) kate9881: and does not really apply to real life
(3:08:46 PM) jeremystudiod: sometimes
(3:09:17 PM) kate9881: “I spent years in college yearning to be done with school. Especially the flash card part.”
(3:09:21 PM) kate9881: that’s fine for her, if flash cards were her experience
(3:09:30 PM) kate9881: that wasn’t mine
(3:09:35 PM) kate9881: i LOVED college
(3:09:49 PM) kate9881: it changed my life in so many ways and opened a lot of doors for me
15:10
(3:10:05 PM) kate9881: a lot of people feel that way about grad school
(3:11:36 PM) kate9881: i have friends who are actually changing the world b/c of grad school
(3:12:09 PM) kate9881: because they have a masters in international health or environmental studies
(3:13:00 PM) jeremystudiod: i think she tries to make her path everyone’s path and assumes that her experience is global
(3:13:36 PM) jeremystudiod: that said i dont necessarily think that lots of higher education is the only path to a successful career in any given field other than medical or legal
(3:14:04 PM) kate9881: no, it’s obviously not the only path. and for most people it’s not the right path
(3:14:10 PM) jeremystudiod: especially since so many universities are so out of date with materials and their teaching styles and taking new tehcnology and the availability of new information into account
(3:14:24 PM) kate9881: what makes you say that
(3:14:40 PM) jeremystudiod: one sec
15:20
(3:22:43 PM) jeremystudiod: i dont know, i know a lot more about the state of public high schools, but a lot of my friends who have gone to undergrad at least complain that the teachers dont really take the internet into account, and class sizes are way too big and they feel like theres a lot of memorization rather than learning
(3:23:44 PM) kate9881: what do you mean take the internet into account? as a source of information?
15:25
(3:28:13 PM) jeremystudiod: and the cultural impact on whatever topic they might be covering, and a source of data
(3:29:21 PM) jeremystudiod: brb caffeined\
15:30
(3:31:45 PM) kate9881: well, it really depends on the subject matter. i mean, i can only speak from my experience at a liberal arts school
(3:32:18 PM) kate9881: but, most of what we would read were primary documents, or classic literature
(3:33:08 PM) kate9881: and there wasn’t much memorization at all (except in intro art history, with the slides)
(3:33:18 PM) kate9881: it was all a lot of reading and class discussion
(3:33:47 PM) kate9881: i took a couple journalism theory classes and the internet was definitely discussed
(3:34:08 PM) kate9881: however, i think at liberal arts school, they are mostly trying to give you a theoretical foundation
(3:34:20 PM) kate9881: to put things in context
(3:34:43 PM) kate9881: sometimes you have to start with the absolute basics
15:35
(3:35:05 PM) kate9881: my filmmaking prof made us cut film with hand crank reel thingies
(3:35:13 PM) kate9881: but i learned a ton from that
(3:35:32 PM) kate9881: and it helps when i use final cut or imovie or whatever
(3:36:23 PM) kate9881: and i know that i definitely incorporated online communities into my thesis
(3:36:55 PM) kate9881: i mean, that was kinda just me, but still. we use the internet for research more than the actual library most of the time
(3:38:11 PM) kate9881: i mean, the thing is, the model is that you get a really broad background as an undergrad, and then you go to grad school and delve into something specific
(3:38:31 PM) kate9881: of course, that doesn’t really work unless you want to continue in academia
(3:38:59 PM) kate9881: i mean, i’d love to know how my poli sci classes have changed in the past 7 years, or whatever
15:40
(3:41:00 PM) kate9881: i’m a huge nerd though. i really loved being somewhere old and pretty where you could have crazy intellectual discussions in the hallway at 3 am and get up at noon and look at dutch art for two hours with an amazing professor
15:50
(3:50:22 PM) jeremystudiod: yeah thats why i like going to rshotel and some conferences and things
(3:50:24 PM) jeremystudiod: smart conversations
(3:50:58 PM) jeremystudiod: since so much of my day is ‘teaching’
(3:51:34 PM) kate9881: yeah
(3:52:26 PM) kate9881: i loved college so much. i CRIED when i drove away after graduation
(3:52:46 PM) kate9881: and then i immediately did TFA and the real world slapped me hard
(3:52:57 PM) jeremystudiod: heh
(3:53:16 PM) jeremystudiod: i had a similar experience with my high school
(3:53:25 PM) jeremystudiod: it was set up much like a college
(3:53:31 PM) jeremystudiod: lots of smart debate and community
(3:53:58 PM) jeremystudiod: i would stay there until 7 or 8 most nights, talking with teachers and other students about all manner of things
(3:54:21 PM) kate9881: but that’s why i can’t really blame people for wanting to extend college
(3:54:49 PM) kate9881: granted, grad school is different. you’re mostly working on your own specific project
15:55
(3:55:37 PM) kate9881: and i’m always shocked that people go so deeply into debt, just to eventually work at a non profit
(3:55:47 PM) jeremystudiod: well
(3:55:55 PM) jeremystudiod: as with anything, its not the thing, its your relationship to the thing
(3:56:09 PM) kate9881: but if you’re funded by the university, who cares?
(3:56:19 PM) jeremystudiod: yup
(3:56:52 PM) kate9881: i had a chip on my shoulder about this for a long time
(3:57:21 PM) kate9881: i felt like a failure for not going to grad school
(3:57:25 PM) jeremystudiod: you sound very passionate about it
(3:57:41 PM) kate9881: plus i have dropped out of two different programs
(3:58:22 PM) kate9881: but as time went on, it started to make NO financial sense
(3:59:18 PM) kate9881: and i saw that even BRILLIANT people were getting rejected from every phd program they’d apply to
(3:59:33 PM) kate9881: meaning there would be no hope for me in terms of doing that
(3:59:39 PM) kate9881: no phd = no funding
16:00
(4:00:13 PM) kate9881: the only reason the MIT program worked was because it was a fully funded MA
(4:00:39 PM) kate9881: so after that fell through, i went back up to vassar to talk to my professors/mentors
(4:01:13 PM) kate9881: they said to take the rest of the year and look at other places to apply
(4:01:19 PM) kate9881: which i didn’t do
(4:01:38 PM) kate9881: one prof said “forget it, just apply to law school”
(4:01:45 PM) kate9881: which is the shittiest advice ever
(4:01:51 PM) jeremystudiod: do you wish you had?
(4:02:06 PM) kate9881: applied to other places?
(4:02:22 PM) jeremystudiod: yea
(4:02:23 PM) kate9881: there aren’t any other funded programs that aren’t phd.
(4:02:43 PM) kate9881: plus, i don’t know what i would do with that anyway
(4:03:02 PM) kate9881: at MIT they had really good industry connections
(4:03:15 PM) kate9881: that other schools don’t have
(4:03:19 PM) jeremystudiod: yeah
(4:03:25 PM) kate9881: not to mention the money
(4:03:33 PM) kate9881: i just can’t afford it anyway
(4:03:49 PM) kate9881: i can barely afford to live, as it is
(4:04:40 PM) jeremystudiod: word
(4:04:44 PM) jeremystudiod: good things are ahead
16:05
(4:05:32 PM) kate9881: maybe
(4:05:48 PM) jeremystudiod: believe it and it makes it more likely to happen
(4:06:04 PM) kate9881: unfortunately, i’ve never believed that
(4:06:05 PM) kate9881: hahaha
(4:06:12 PM) jeremystudiod: you can try it π
(4:06:23 PM) jeremystudiod: i’ve never nkown a happy pessimist
(4:06:25 PM) kate9881: i don’t believe in the power of positive thinking
(4:07:03 PM) jeremystudiod: its not magic
(4:07:09 PM) kate9881: pessimist isn’t the right word
(4:07:27 PM) jeremystudiod: and positive thinking isn’t the same as denying that bad things happen
(4:07:46 PM) kate9881: no, but i like to be realistic
(4:08:15 PM) jeremystudiod: i’ve found that ‘realistic’ tends to be on the negative side, with people
(4:09:09 PM) kate9881: well, that’s because the real world is probably more negative than positive
(4:09:24 PM) kate9881: especially right now
16:10
(4:11:57 PM) jeremystudiod: i dont think most things are inherently positive or negative, but that we assign those values to them in order to either try to justify them in our brain or connect them with previous experience…and if they’re mostly neutral, why not err toward the positive…i think when we assume ‘realistic’ = ‘lifes a bitch and then you die’, we tend to discount or not even notice positive opportunities that come into our lives
(4:13:54 PM) kate9881: well, i’m not walking around like “life is pointless!”
(4:14:30 PM) kate9881: but my tendency is to see glass half empty
(4:14:46 PM) kate9881: i can’t help it
(4:14:59 PM) jeremystudiod: its adjustable
16:15
(4:16:01 PM) kate9881: i don’t think it makes me an unhappy person
(4:16:09 PM) jeremystudiod: i dont think so either
(4:17:27 PM) kate9881: i just find that if i prepare for the worst, i don’t need to worry that the worst will happen
(4:17:42 PM) kate9881: and i’ll be pleasantly surprised
(4:19:02 PM) jeremystudiod: what about expecting the best and not worrying that the worst will happen..certainly thats an option
(4:19:22 PM) kate9881: but then you’re not prepared
(4:19:41 PM) kate9881: if i’m worried that no one will come to an event
(4:19:50 PM) kate9881: i better get off my ass and get on the phone
16:20
(4:20:00 PM) kate9881: if i just “hope for the best” nothing will happen
(4:20:04 PM) jeremystudiod: i dont know that you’re ever really ‘prepared’ … the buddhism path is that no matter what happens, it will be okay
(4:20:07 PM) kate9881: people don’t magically show up
(4:20:15 PM) jeremystudiod: yeah i didn’t mean ‘hope for the best’ and dont take any action to make it happen
(4:21:05 PM) kate9881: every time i let myself believe that something good will happen, it DOESN”T and then i feel horrible
(4:21:13 PM) kate9881: thats why
(4:21:15 PM) jeremystudiod: EVERY time? every single time ever?
(4:21:21 PM) kate9881: a lifetime of disapointment
(4:21:48 PM) kate9881: enough times so that i don’t ever hope for anything
(4:21:51 PM) jeremystudiod: but you can go into calling people because you feel like nobody’s gonna show up and its all gonna go to hell and be an embarassment and you’re gonna get fired and end up on the street giving handjobs for crack (to take it to an extreme) or you can say ‘i put together this awesome event and i’m gonna make sure people know about it, and even if the audience is small, i will have done something good’
(4:22:06 PM) kate9881: handjobs for crack??? hahahahaha
(4:23:05 PM) kate9881: i admit, my train of thought doesn’t usually extend that low!
(4:23:34 PM) jeremystudiod: its the same result but in the second example you’re not beating yourself up or bringing unnecessary negativity into it
(4:24:21 PM) jeremystudiod: and just because things have been a certain way in the past doesn’t mean they will always be that way…i think we’re a good example of that… and i do think that the attitude that you go into something with affects the result of it in a hundred different ways having nothing to do with buddhism or god or life force or chi or whatever
16:25
(4:26:00 PM) kate9881: it’s not like i’m doom-and-gloom all the time here
(4:26:03 PM) jeremystudiod: i know
(4:26:07 PM) jeremystudiod: i’m not sayin you are
(4:27:01 PM) jeremystudiod: buddhism at least talks more about ‘no matter what is happening, its all okay. the why doesnt matter so much’
(4:27:14 PM) jeremystudiod: expecting the worst tends to make it happen
(4:27:24 PM) kate9881: says who?
(4:27:29 PM) kate9881: i mean really
(4:29:36 PM) jeremystudiod: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_distortion
16:30
(4:30:44 PM) jeremystudiod: http://mgerber.blogspot.com/2009/02/always-expect-worst-and-youll-never-be.html
(4:31:18 PM) kate9881: that’s kinda true though!
(4:31:35 PM) kate9881: expect the worst and you’re prepared for anything!
(4:31:55 PM) jeremystudiod: its very restrictive in terms of the overall possibility of joy and appreciating things
(4:32:29 PM) jeremystudiod: its like if you’re on a scale, starting at -5 so that even if something that would be an 8 in the positivity scale happens you’re only at a 3 in your mood
(4:33:17 PM) kate9881: ok, but there is no scale
(4:33:44 PM) jeremystudiod: there is in terms of your overall mood and life satisfaction
(4:33:59 PM) jeremystudiod: i dunno, i’m not really expressing what i mean very well
(4:34:54 PM) kate9881: i just think, a lot of the positive thinking stuff is kind of overbearing in it’s own way
16:35
(4:35:01 PM) jeremystudiod: i just think that setting your expectations like that makes it easy to think that you dont deserve for things to work out, and not really giving things a chance to work out how they were meant to
(4:35:07 PM) kate9881: i think it’s natural to have fears and doubts about some stuff
(4:35:14 PM) jeremystudiod: i dont know that i’m necessarily advocating an ‘everything is rainbows and unicorns’ approach
(4:35:25 PM) kate9881: i know you love unicorns!
(4:35:29 PM) jeremystudiod: i do
(4:35:32 PM) jeremystudiod: and narwhals
(4:35:35 PM) kate9881: !!!
(4:35:41 PM) kate9881: they are not unicorns
(4:35:59 PM) kate9881: they are glorified swordfish π
(4:36:03 PM) jeremystudiod: i’m more saying that starting from 0 is something that makes more sense to me in terms of a life strategy
(4:36:24 PM) kate9881: i understand what you’re saying
(4:36:24 PM) jeremystudiod: because if we think negatively all the time, i think we also tend to exaggerate the potential negative consequences
(4:36:45 PM) jeremystudiod: or not think through the ‘worst case’ beyond ‘itll suck and itll be my fault cause im lame’
(4:37:10 PM) kate9881: but, i just think that sometimes it’s like the power of positivity mafia want to make you feel bad for not feeling HAPPY AND POSITIVE ALL THE TIME!!!
(4:37:20 PM) jeremystudiod: yes
(4:37:23 PM) jeremystudiod: well thats a different argument
(4:37:26 PM) jeremystudiod: i mean, discussion
(4:37:35 PM) jeremystudiod: i think thats very black+white
(4:37:38 PM) kate9881: if you’re one of those people, i think you’re covering some actual unhappiness
(4:37:48 PM) jeremystudiod: i agree with that
(4:37:49 PM) kate9881: because life has ups and downs
(4:38:17 PM) jeremystudiod: i dont think ‘everything sucks’ or ‘everythings great’ are particularly helpful strategies
(4:38:19 PM) kate9881: and sometimes we are put in situations where most of the time, it’s NOT good
(4:38:53 PM) kate9881: well, i’m not an “everything sucks” person
(4:39:07 PM) jeremystudiod: no i get that
(4:39:17 PM) jeremystudiod: and we all slip into one or the other frmo time to time
(4:39:42 PM) jeremystudiod: but i think the goal is ‘things are what they are and no matter what happens, it will be okay’
(4:39:47 PM) jeremystudiod: thats my goal at least
16:40
(4:40:09 PM) kate9881: well, that’s okay, as long as it actually will be okay
(4:40:15 PM) kate9881: but sometimes it isn’t
(4:40:25 PM) jeremystudiod: like when
(4:41:34 PM) kate9881: i dunno, car accident, getting fired, getting dumped, horrid disease diagnosis, unplanned pregnancy, naked pictures posted by a vengeful ex
(4:41:52 PM) kate9881: i guess it depends on your definition of “okay”
(4:42:18 PM) jeremystudiod: those are things that happen, and cause varying degrees of change in life.. they dont have to be catastrophic or existince defining
(4:43:53 PM) kate9881: i don’t know
(4:43:58 PM) kate9881: life can be very hard
(4:44:32 PM) jeremystudiod: difficult things can happen but i think we have a tendency to make life much harder than it needs to be
(4:44:38 PM) jeremystudiod: by defining it as hard
16:45
(4:45:36 PM) jeremystudiod: when in fact its just life
(4:48:04 PM) kate9881: i don’t really want to get into this debate. it just makes me feel bad, or like i’m failing at feeling good or whatever
(4:48:33 PM) jeremystudiod: hee
(4:48:46 PM) jeremystudiod: ok
(4:49:24 PM) jeremystudiod: its not a criticism at all…i know sometimes i can get preachy or less sympathetic than i could be and its something i’m trying to avoid.. i think you’re great, you know that
16:50
(4:52:21 PM) jeremystudiod: i dont think you’re ‘doing it wrong,’ i just know that i’ve struggled with some of the same things and changing some of my assumptions about how life works has gotten me to a place i feel is better for my overall happiness… it may not be the same for you
(4:54:17 PM) jeremystudiod: totally didn’t mean to be all ‘i know something you dont know’
(4:54:42 PM) kate9881: i’m very stubborn and kind of contrary
16:55
(4:55:16 PM) kate9881: i also do not have it all figured out, or even a little figured out
(4:55:21 PM) jeremystudiod: nor do i
(4:55:23 PM) jeremystudiod: nobody really does
(4:55:27 PM) kate9881: no
(4:56:09 PM) jeremystudiod: if/when you’re ready to consider this stuff, i will be here for you for whatever you need
(4:56:28 PM) kate9881: i know. but i really resist it
(4:56:34 PM) jeremystudiod: i know
(4:56:37 PM) jeremystudiod: its okay
(4:56:45 PM) jeremystudiod: i push a lot, too
(4:56:57 PM) jeremystudiod: more than i feel like i should, sometiems
(4:57:34 PM) kate9881: it’s ok. it’s just that it makes me want to push back, in a weird way
(4:57:51 PM) jeremystudiod: yeah
(4:58:01 PM) jeremystudiod: i mean
(4:58:09 PM) jeremystudiod: i guess it puts you on the defensive
(4:58:15 PM) jeremystudiod: i really dont mean to be like ‘urdoingitwrong’
(4:58:22 PM) kate9881: i know
(4:58:29 PM) jeremystudiod: and i know i pushed back with my mom when she was trying to get me into this stuff
(4:58:58 PM) kate9881: i do that with my mom too
(4:59:25 PM) jeremystudiod: change is hard and we resist it as much as we can until it becomes more uncomfortable to stay the same
17:00
(5:00:18 PM) jeremystudiod: brb meeting
(5:00:19 PM) jeremystudiod: i love you
17:15
(5:18:08 PM) kate9881: ok, i will just type this and you can read it when you get back. i do appreciate hearing your thoughts on this kind of stuff, and objectively speaking, it’s interesting. but sometimes it makes me feel a little resentful, and that’s because we’re not just two acquaintances arguing about philosophy. when someone (anyone) tells me to think about something their way, i retreat further back into my own way of thinking. i can’t help it. it’s like getting the hard sell, rather than the soft sell. it doesn’t work as well. i know you want to help and i love you for it. but sometimes it just brings up some angry feelings and i end up feeling worse instead of better.
17:25
(5:26:24 PM) kate9881: you’re not the first person to go back and forth with me about this. and i’ve noticed that when i start discussing it with a ‘positivity’ person, i get forced into the sort of bitter, cynical, negative position and i just go further and further into it. and it’s not like i’m that person all the time. but i find that i end up playing that ‘role’ a lot, and i don’t think it’s a good thing
(5:26:24 PM) jeremystudiod <AUTO-REPLY> : I’m not here right now
17:30
(5:32:24 PM) jeremystudiod: yeah i get it, you kind of want to take the position on the inverse side of the scale to balance out whatever someone might be saying
(5:32:34 PM) jeremystudiod: so that you dont ‘have’ to change or look at what you’re doing
(5:34:07 PM) jeremystudiod: i get it, and i’ve done it
17:35
(5:35:02 PM) jeremystudiod: and to clarify i’m not advocating the shiny happy rainbows and candy approach, either.. .things are how they are, and ascribing any particular value to them can get us in trouble because it keeps us from seeing how things are
(5:35:19 PM) jeremystudiod: which is not to say that i’m necessarily like that all of the time or even most of the time
(5:35:37 PM) kate9881: i really do understand what you’re saying. it’s not like you’re blowing my mind. it’s not like i don’t think about these issues a lot. both sides
(5:35:40 PM) jeremystudiod: but its not really how we’re wired to be, so i can learn to be okay with when it happens
(5:36:33 PM) jeremystudiod: i know
(5:39:36 PM) kate9881: sometimes it feels like you’re pushing a religious belief on me. and although i know that’s not true, objectively speaking, i’m just very very sensitive to that.
17:40
(5:41:39 PM) jeremystudiod: well please feel free to let me know when that happens… i dont think of it as a religion, but more as a way of approaching life that has a lot of both history and an increasing amount of neuroscience behind it
(5:42:12 PM) jeremystudiod: its something that makes sense to me, and a lot of it is because its not connected to a belief in some external divine conscious entity pulling the strings
(5:42:30 PM) kate9881: i know it’s not a ‘religion’
(5:43:47 PM) kate9881: but i have some experience arguing with people over belief systems. i spent my whole adolescence getting pummeled with jesus
(5:44:41 PM) jeremystudiod: yeah i get it
(5:44:53 PM) jeremystudiod: this is not that, and i totally understand how you’d react similarly
17:45
(5:45:22 PM) kate9881: i SO know it’s not that, but it’s like a trigger for a certain defensive reaction
(5:45:36 PM) jeremystudiod: yup
(5:45:54 PM) jeremystudiod: its really good that you recognize it as a trigger rather than living in it tho
(5:46:16 PM) kate9881: yeah, i thought of that
(5:46:33 PM) jeremystudiod: it means you’re in a different place in relation to it…you’re building temporal space between when someone triggers something and when the automatic process takes over
17:50
(5:50:45 PM) jeremystudiod: er.. ‘temporal space’ sounds all hippie dippie but you know what i mean.. .theres time in the process for you to notice that ‘hey im being triggered here’
(5:51:03 PM) jeremystudiod: which is a distinct change from ‘someone says something, now i gotta be defensive’
(5:51:12 PM) jeremystudiod: and gives you a lot more room to maneuver and adjust
(5:51:14 PM) jeremystudiod: if you want
17:55
(5:59:33 PM) kate9881: it’s weird, but i tend to feel worse about myself or stuff in general lately
18:00
(6:00:29 PM) jeremystudiod: you can think of it as being less comfortable with some of your current set of assumptions, maybe
(6:01:18 PM) jeremystudiod: it sucks to feel that way but for me it meant that i really needed to change and drop some of the thinking that was holding me back
(6:04:27 PM) kate9881: i don’t know
18:05
(6:05:28 PM) jeremystudiod: you dont have to
(6:05:53 PM) kate9881: i’m trying to think of a way to explain
(6:07:28 PM) kate9881: i guess i’m not sure whether some of these conversations are helping or hurting
(6:08:03 PM) jeremystudiod: well i just dont want you to think that my love for you is somehow conditional on any of this, because its not
(6:08:18 PM) kate9881: i know that
18:10
(6:10:02 PM) jeremystudiod: i do have hte feeling that sometimes i push too hard to get my message across, because sometimes during these conversations i feel like i’m not being true to our relationship and slipping into a ‘role’ rather than just being me
(6:10:20 PM) jeremystudiod: and i dont like when that happens
(6:12:38 PM) kate9881: well, it just puts me in kind of an uncomfortable ‘student’ type of position sometimes
(6:12:49 PM) jeremystudiod: yeha
(6:12:56 PM) jeremystudiod: i mean
(6:13:04 PM) jeremystudiod: yes, and its not fair to you
(6:13:11 PM) jeremystudiod: because its not like i’m this great master imparting wisdom
(6:13:24 PM) jeremystudiod: its just like… i’m sharing what i see and what i think would be interesting or ultimately helpful for you
(6:13:28 PM) jeremystudiod: but its not necessarily my place to do that
(6:13:43 PM) jeremystudiod: this goes back to my being ‘shoulder to cry on’ guy
18:15
(6:17:00 PM) jeremystudiod: brb one sec
18:20
(6:20:30 PM) jeremystudiod: back
(6:20:45 PM) jeremystudiod: it may just be that i’m not the best resource for this kind of thing for you
(6:21:20 PM) jeremystudiod: i mean theres stuff i talk about in therapy that i wouldn’t necessarily discuss with you…not because i’m keeping anything from you or dont want to burden or whatever, but because it seems like thats the appropriate place for it
(6:23:44 PM) kate9881: i don’t really understand it, but i just feel really bad right now
(6:24:03 PM) jeremystudiod: ok we can drop it *hugs*
(6:24:07 PM) jeremystudiod: it’s all good
(6:24:08 PM) jeremystudiod: i love you
18:25
(6:25:49 PM) kate9881: i’m sorry, i think i’m being really weird at the moment
(6:25:53 PM) jeremystudiod: no no
(6:25:56 PM) jeremystudiod: nothing to apologize for
(6:26:01 PM) jeremystudiod: i’ve been there
(6:26:18 PM) jeremystudiod: i will be more careful about your triggers in the future
(6:26:26 PM) kate9881: but i can actually, physically feel the bad feeling
(6:26:35 PM) kate9881: it may have nothing to do with you
(6:26:38 PM) jeremystudiod: where is it in your body
(6:27:02 PM) kate9881: my chest, like the tight chest, choked up feeling
(6:27:21 PM) jeremystudiod: anywhere else?
(6:27:24 PM) kate9881: that i also get when i’m thinking about my resume or whatever
(6:27:29 PM) kate9881: no
(6:27:39 PM) jeremystudiod: what else triggers it, anything?
(6:27:55 PM) kate9881: just sort of like, the feeling you get before you cry, but you don’t cry, you just feel tense
(6:28:17 PM) kate9881: i dunno, i think it’s just feeling inadequate or something
(6:29:30 PM) jeremystudiod: but it passes
18:30
(6:30:32 PM) jeremystudiod: my therapist suggests focusing on the physical manifestation of it…like specifically how it feels and where it lives in your body
(6:31:00 PM) jeremystudiod: since it shifts you away from going in circles about what it means and what it makes you or doesn’t make you
(6:31:05 PM) jeremystudiod: basically imagine you dont have a head
(6:31:07 PM) kate9881: i have to go
(6:31:16 PM) jeremystudiod: do you want to meet up for dinner or something?
(6:31:55 PM) kate9881: i was going to do some shopping. i need more leggings
(6:32:18 PM) jeremystudiod: ok
(6:32:38 PM) jeremystudiod: i’m always down to hang with you if you want some company
(6:32:43 PM) jeremystudiod: oy… you know what i mean
(6:33:49 PM) kate9881: i know
(6:34:47 PM) jeremystudiod: i kinda feel like i triggered some stuff and dont want to just leave you alone with it
18:35
(6:35:11 PM) kate9881: it’s not your fault
(6:36:27 PM) jeremystudiod: no i mean…not a matter of “fault”
(6:36:37 PM) kate9881: no i didn’t mean fault
(6:37:01 PM) kate9881: i just mean, it’s not even necessarily anything you said
(6:37:13 PM) kate9881: this has just been kind of a crap day
(6:37:21 PM) jeremystudiod: okay
(6:38:20 PM) jeremystudiod: well i’m here for you and i love you and support you and regardless of how much you buy into it in this very moment i do believe there are more good things ahead
(6:39:05 PM) kate9881: i don’t understand why i can’t just believe that
(6:39:35 PM) jeremystudiod: its important for you to not believe it right now, for some reason
18:40
(6:40:31 PM) jeremystudiod: i’m sure a therapist could help you unpack the reasoning and break it down to a place where you can begin to see where it comes from and learn to start letting it go a little
(6:40:48 PM) jeremystudiod: that’s what they do
(6:40:55 PM) jeremystudiod: thats what mine has helped a lot with
(6:41:49 PM) kate9881: maybe. I don’t see myself ever going to therapy though
(6:42:06 PM) jeremystudiod: just because that thought is in your mind doesn’t make it true
(6:42:25 PM) jeremystudiod: i didn’t think i’d ever go back
(6:42:49 PM) jeremystudiod: i thought i’d just deal with whatever happened and if it sucked it sucked
(6:43:02 PM) jeremystudiod: or that somehow i didn’t deserve to look at what i was doing
(6:44:00 PM) kate9881: I just think it would be too painful. it seems like torture
(6:44:08 PM) jeremystudiod: its not
(6:44:14 PM) jeremystudiod: you set the pace
(6:44:24 PM) jeremystudiod: and you dont have to talk about everything
(6:44:29 PM) jeremystudiod: or anything in particular
(6:44:38 PM) jeremystudiod: it doesn’t work if you delve headfirst into the hard stuff right away
(6:44:41 PM) jeremystudiod: its like an onion
(6:44:45 PM) kate9881: I know.
(6:44:52 PM) jeremystudiod: i mean, i only really started talking about my parents divorce stuff in the last few months
18:45
(6:45:09 PM) kate9881: the thing is
(6:46:00 PM) kate9881: the fact that people keep telling me to see a therapist makes me not want to
(6:46:09 PM) jeremystudiod: heh
(6:46:11 PM) jeremystudiod: yea i get that one
(6:46:28 PM) kate9881: because it would be like they won
(6:46:36 PM) jeremystudiod: absolutely
(6:46:46 PM) jeremystudiod: and if you feel better more of the time, they won
(6:47:02 PM) jeremystudiod: because a happy life is somehow not as virtuous as a difficult one
(6:47:27 PM) kate9881: yeah maybe
(6:47:50 PM) jeremystudiod: and if you have to ask for help, then they won
(6:48:29 PM) kate9881: that’s kind of my attitude about looking for a new job too
(6:48:46 PM) jeremystudiod: but here’s the thing, whether you’re in a position to internalize this or not… those people suggesting it, they LOVE you, they want you to be happy…its genuine, not manipulative
(6:48:59 PM) jeremystudiod: and this whole thing is something you can look at in therapy..its so common
(6:49:12 PM) jeremystudiod: and all it takes is a little shift in perception to adjust
(6:49:24 PM) jeremystudiod: so that may be ‘them winning’ is a win for you too
(6:49:30 PM) jeremystudiod: i totally understand the resistance
(6:49:38 PM) kate9881: yeah
(6:49:43 PM) jeremystudiod: having gone through (and still going through) it myself
(6:49:46 PM) jeremystudiod: with my dad especially
18:50
(6:50:04 PM) jeremystudiod: for a long time i thought if my life was good that he’d take credit for it and then all the crappy stuff he did to me would be cancelled out in his mind
(6:50:19 PM) kate9881: right
(6:50:50 PM) jeremystudiod: but it turns out that even if thats true, me being miserable doesn’t do anyone any good, and just makes me miserable
(6:51:28 PM) jeremystudiod: i mean, it took me awhile to get to that point
(6:52:00 PM) kate9881: yeah
(6:52:24 PM) jeremystudiod: and me being miserable or not miserable is my own decision, and making sure he knows that he did some crappy things is not the highest thing on my priority list, because thats stuff that happened in the past… now i’m trying (some days more than others) to move on and rebuild a bit of a relationship with him
(6:53:52 PM) kate9881: yes
(6:54:11 PM) kate9881: makes sense
(6:54:15 PM) jeremystudiod: and therapy helped me to slowly unpack the feelings around it
(6:54:22 PM) jeremystudiod: which i would not have been able to do myself
(6:54:57 PM) jeremystudiod: because in my brain it was this huge monolith of neuroses and pain and complication that i was just not gonna ever be able to get around, and that when i decided to deal with it it was gonna hurt like hell
18:55
(6:55:33 PM) kate9881: yeah
(6:55:52 PM) jeremystudiod: but ken helped me to break it down and recognize that i dont have to Deal With It All At Once
(6:56:27 PM) kate9881: except for me, I don’t really have that “dad” issue
(6:56:37 PM) jeremystudiod: well right
(6:56:46 PM) jeremystudiod: but its the same for whatever
(6:57:00 PM) kate9881: it’s more like a ton of little things
(6:57:14 PM) jeremystudiod: chances are that a lot of them have common themes
(6:57:50 PM) kate9881: maybe
(6:59:12 PM) jeremystudiod: and even if they dont, that doesn’t make it less worthwhile
(6:59:37 PM) jeremystudiod: its the therapists job to help you recognize whether there may be common themes
(6:59:49 PM) jeremystudiod: for me, there are a bunch of thigns that are all connected though i wouldn’t necessarily have thought they were
19:00
(7:00:03 PM) jeremystudiod: a lot of it is abandonment stuff, some of it is not giving myself enough credit for things
(7:00:47 PM) kate9881: and you don’t think it’s self indulgent
(7:01:34 PM) jeremystudiod: i dont think that looking at my patterns and whether they are serving me or i’m serving them is self-indulgent, no… life is too short to not try to live it with as little ‘stuff’ as you can
(7:02:11 PM) kate9881: yeah I guess
(7:02:11 PM) jeremystudiod: i mean on occasion the ‘self-indulgent’ thing comes up, but i feel like its helping me to be a more open and caring person toward myself, my loved ones, and the world
(7:02:21 PM) jeremystudiod: its not like… i’m not trying to improve myself and fuck everyone else
(7:02:44 PM) jeremystudiod: i’m looking at the stuff that prevents me from opening up and loving fully
(7:02:47 PM) kate9881: yeah
(7:03:06 PM) jeremystudiod: maybe not prevents as much as can get in the way
(7:03:13 PM) jeremystudiod: er.. maybe not ‘prevents’ as much as ‘can get in the way’
(7:03:28 PM) jeremystudiod: and the world needs more love in it, so as much as i can do to be a conduit
(7:04:52 PM) kate9881: ok…
19:05
(7:05:57 PM) kate9881: they really classed up the h&m mens dept
(7:05:59 PM) jeremystudiod: not with chanting or whatever
(7:06:10 PM) jeremystudiod: but you know..being a friend and loving you and such
(7:06:19 PM) kate9881: I saw snooki
(7:06:32 PM) jeremystudiod: are you sure it was her rather than just a random jersey girl
(7:07:07 PM) kate9881: it was her
(7:07:16 PM) kate9881: 100%
(7:07:24 PM) jeremystudiod: did you point and jump up and down?
(7:07:29 PM) jeremystudiod: like if you’d seen taylor lautner?
(7:07:42 PM) kate9881: I should have
19:10
(7:12:08 PM) jeremystudiod: oh well
(7:13:51 PM) kate9881: you were distracting me
(7:13:58 PM) jeremystudiod: oops
(7:13:59 PM) kate9881: from snooki
(7:14:20 PM) kate9881: bless you
19:15
(7:15:17 PM) jeremystudiod: <3
19:20
(7:20:24 PM) kate9881: sorry for the mopeyness
(7:20:33 PM) jeremystudiod: nothing to apologize for
(7:20:45 PM) jeremystudiod: just trying to find the right balance so that i dont overstep
(7:20:55 PM) kate9881: the alternative is that I just go away
(7:21:02 PM) jeremystudiod: ?
(7:21:22 PM) jeremystudiod: what do you mean
(7:21:26 PM) kate9881: I mean that’s what I tend to do
(7:21:30 PM) jeremystudiod: oh
(7:21:31 PM) jeremystudiod: well dont.
(7:21:54 PM) kate9881: I’m not
(7:22:05 PM) jeremystudiod: and remember, this mopeyness that you feel right now will pass, and its not like i feel like your’e always mopey
(7:22:23 PM) jeremystudiod: i just have a tendency to try to help when you are… which is helpful to a point and then stops being so
(7:22:39 PM) kate9881: I don’t feel mopey when we’re together
(7:23:34 PM) kate9881: and I appreciate you helping me. I really do
(7:23:40 PM) jeremystudiod: okay
(7:24:13 PM) jeremystudiod: π
(7:24:57 PM) kate9881: I don’t know why I’d rather be sad and angry as opposed to happy
19:25
(7:25:10 PM) kate9881: that’s the weird thing
(7:25:42 PM) jeremystudiod: i think that its much much more important for you right now to just notice when you make choices that bring up sadness and anger vs happiness, rather than any kind of analyzing of why you do it
(7:25:55 PM) jeremystudiod: because its really easy to get stuck in the why
(7:26:10 PM) kate9881: I guess
(7:26:11 PM) jeremystudiod: and the why can be interesting, but while you’re in it, the why becomes something to spin your wheels about, and keeps you in it
(7:27:12 PM) kate9881: yeah
(7:27:27 PM) jeremystudiod: so when i said a few weeks ago that the why doesn’t matter, i think thats what i meant
(7:27:40 PM) jeremystudiod: its not that it doesn’t matter, its that you can focus on the why or you can focus on just noticing when the choices are made
(7:27:42 PM) kate9881: yeah
(7:27:51 PM) jeremystudiod: and one will get you to a place where you can make change and one wont
(7:28:06 PM) kate9881: yeah
(7:28:26 PM) jeremystudiod: and i think that you’re definitely on the right track
(7:28:31 PM) kate9881: well i got my leggings so Im heading home
(7:28:54 PM) jeremystudiod: noticing when things get triggered and stuff
(7:29:16 PM) jeremystudiod: i’m still at work…bleh.
(7:29:29 PM) kate9881: yeah
19:30
(7:30:01 PM) jeremystudiod: nothing to worry about… you’re already on a path away from choosing to be sad and angry so much
(7:30:01 PM) kate9881: well I’ll talk to you later
(7:30:50 PM) jeremystudiod: ok, i’m gonna head home momentarily too… chat from there
(7:30:55 PM) jeremystudiod: I love you lots