sdcjournal

Private Journal – Keep Out.

Archive for October, 2010

Job Perception Advice from Heather

leave a comment

4:30 PMHeather Snow
so what did you think of eileen and the blurb experience?
4:30 PMJeremy Meyers
product is great
they are very creative-focused
its 75% creative 25% business+measurement to justify the creative
she had both the Moo guy and the SixWordMemoir.com guy there talking about partnerships
this is not someone who wants to hear a lot of business talk
what she’s going to want is lots of creative ideas and some of “and we have the measurement chops to back up our ideas and adjust course etc’
you should bring your camera
or at least show your photographic passion
my concern was that we might be too corporate leaning, and mariella echoed similar thoughts, that we have to be sure not to be too stuffy. think nice sweaters rather than suits
4:32 PMHeather Snow
yes
linda already flagged that we should come in showing our personal style
and i’m weaving in a seciton on measurement
not talking about boring capes
but our POV about holistic influence
4:33 PMJeremy Meyers
its measurement in service to creative ideas and brand awareness raising
4:33 PMHeather Snow
and highlighting cool stuff like MOI and influence multipliers
4:33 PMJeremy Meyers
not the other way around, which we do too often
i actually really liked her
4:34 PMHeather Snow
she was great on the phone – very direct, but also passionate and authentic sounding
4:34 PMJeremy Meyers
yeah
i made some silly joke at dance expense and she thought it was hilarious
4:34 PMHeather Snow
what was she wearing?
4:34 PMJeremy Meyers
um… blouse, jacket, slacks
mariella probably remembers in more detail
4:34 PMHeather Snow
not suit
4:35 PMJeremy Meyers
didn’t seem like a suit to me
ask a girl
4:35 PMHeather Snow
what was your joke?
4:35 PMJeremy Meyers
ummm
can’t remember… i think dan was talking about one of the children’s books that was on display and i made some crack about ‘watch out, dan’s girlfriend’
or something like that
i gotta be me.
i think she appreciated that we werent trying to suck up
4:36 PMHeather Snow
nice
4:37 PMJeremy Meyers
its times like that when its frustrating to get dinged about not being ‘client-ready’ when i see that clients and potential clients like and appreciate people who dont just kiss their ass all the time
4:38 PMHeather Snow
i know
actually, i’m calling out the kudos mariella gave you in a note to the sd action board
4:38 PMJeremy Meyers
i talked about it in therapy a bunch
thanks, i appreciate that
4:39 PMHeather Snow
what i think i’m hearing in feedback from different folks is this:
when you engage directly with clients (particularly in person) they really value your insights and perspective and they get your quirkiness
however, on email, you’re a bit rough around the edges
the result of the latter is that sometimes folks who don’t have as much experience w/ you either in person or see you engage clients lose confidence in you before you have a chance to demonstrate
what you’re capable of
michele might be an exception to that – i don’t know what her deal is
4:41 PMJeremy Meyers
can you be more specific about ‘rough around the edges’?
4:41 PMHeather Snow
sometimes inappropriate
sometimes snarky
sometimes incomplete
so you need to win the confidence of folks internally – yes they are peers – but you still need to manage up a bit more
and in doing that, you’ll get more opportunities to demonstrate that you are in fact good w/ clients… which i think will be more satisfying for you
4:43 PMJeremy Meyers
i’m not particularly motivated by ‘getting in front of clients’. but i do wish that people would take things how I intended them more, and not jump to conclusions about what kind of person i am, because more often then not, they’re wrong.
sometimes i’m snarky to make a point, sometimes i’m inappropriate. sometimes i’m incomplete because i would like more feedback to make sure i’m on the right track before fololowing up
4:47 PMHeather Snow
have i ever shared my favorite RLS quote?
4:48 PMJeremy Meyers
and while i will try to be more mindful of how i come across via email, theres only so much i’m willing to compromise my authenticity to avoid people jumping to the wrong conclusion right off the bat. if thats a flaw, i accept it
RLS?
oh
no
4:51 PMHeather Snow
“don’t write merely to be understood. write so that you cannot possibly be misunderstood.”
swap out “write” for “communicate”
or if you prefer, shannon & weaver’s communication model
4:51 PMJeremy Meyers
sometimes i value the misunderstandings though because it can lead to deeper insight.  maybe that gets in my way.
i prefer to be fluid rather than static
4:52 PMHeather Snow
you’ve got the transmitter, the receiver, channel, noise, etc. all of those things can contribute to disruption in the communication
it’s not just up to the receiver to decode the transmitter, particularly if there’s noise in the channel
yeah, you can argue this if you want
but if you want feedback, take what i’ve offered
4:53 PMJeremy Meyers
not trying to argue, just to clarify my intent
4:53 PMHeather Snow
you aren’t going to get others to change
4:54 PMJeremy Meyers
arent we in the business of influencing others to change? thats the core of our beliefs
4:55 PMHeather Snow
ever heard the phrase “pick your battles”?
4:55 PMJeremy Meyers
i hear it often referring to battles that i think are important and that other people prefer the status quo on.
4:56 PMHeather Snow
ok
at the end of the day it’s your decision
but i think there are a lot of areas that you could improve w/o compromising your integrity or your authenticity… i recognize that some things you do deliberately, but i don’t think all are
and if your intent is truly to be the pebble in the shoe of colleagues, you just have to be very aware of consequences – both intended and unintended
4:58 PMJeremy Meyers
not pebble in shoe. its not purely as an irritant
i’m not foley.
4:58 PMHeather Snow
ha
4:58 PMJeremy Meyers
someone like foley has his value too
i’m not trying to piss people off, i swear. or be annoying.
4:58 PMHeather Snow
anyway, i think i answered your question/concern about being perceived as not being client-facing when you do make good impressions ie on eileen…yes?
perceived as being client facing, i mean
4:59 PMJeremy Meyers
sure
5:01 PMHeather Snow
the philosophical debate is for you to work through – i have my own flavor of that (i also find myself swimming upstream a lot of the time)… but do keep it separate from feedback on areas you truly can work on to be a better you
(didn’t mean that to sound cheesy)
5:01 PMJeremy Meyers
i know what you mean
5:01 PMHeather Snow
cool
5:01 PMJeremy Meyers
i take all feedback, some of it i will make a priority to work on, some of it goes against what makes me me, and i will keep the feedback in mind but that doesn’t mean i’m going to up and change it all
5:02 PMHeather Snow
k
5:02 PMJeremy Meyers
but hey, i’m getting some good press today
5:02 PMHeather Snow
yes
nice email from tac too
5:02 PMJeremy Meyers
indeed
had a good call with Farren about the EDF thign as well
5:03 PMHeather Snow
and also wnated to let you know that i’ve used a lot of your 007 digital footprint analysis & recos in the proposal
good
your on a roll
i always like to take that positive feedback (both direct and indirect) and program it into  my head as “what to do more of” (which balances the “what to do better” and is much more palatable)
anyway
i have to go back into hiding… i’m technically on PL but am online b/c i have prep to do for the blurb pitch
5:04 PMJeremy Meyers
okay
maybe you should take some of what i said and some of your gut feeling about the client and make some recommendations to the pitch team about how to approach the meeting in terms of focus and attitude?
5:05 PMHeather Snow
yes i will… and have been
5:05 PMJeremy Meyers
okie
5:05 PMHeather Snow
i think linda mills gets it – she’s the lead
5:05 PMJeremy Meyers
ok good
5:05 PMHeather Snow
but i’ve been weighing in pretty heavily throughout
5:05 PMJeremy Meyers
we have a tendency to want to be professional
and creative people hate professional
5:06 PMHeather Snow
i think eileen is looking for both
she’s also a data/analytics geek, and a serial entrepreneur
5:06 PMJeremy Meyers
professionally creative not creatively professional
5:06 PMHeather Snow
anyway good job winning hearts & minds this week
and have a good weekend
5:06 PMJeremy Meyers
ok
5:06 PMHeather Snow
i’m jumping back offline
5:06 PMJeremy Meyers
lates
thanks
This conversation is being saved in the Conversation History folder in your Outlook mailbox.
Jeremy Meyers
Digital Strategy Specialist, WE Studio D
(: 212-551-4835 f: 212-833-4801
8: jmeyers@waggeneredstrom.com | im: JeremyStudioD | tw: @JeremyMeyers
*: 750 Third Avenue, 31st Fl.  New York, NY 10017
bl: http://blogs.waggeneredstrom.com/thinkers-and-doers/ | http://www.jeremymeyers.com/

Written by admin

October 29th, 2010 at 2:19 pm

Posted in Work

sex and seattle

leave a comment

13:16:33) kate9881: is it ok if i think about applying to some graduate programs?
(13:17:31) jeremystudiod: of course its okay… tho it kinda makes me nervous
(13:17:35) jeremystudiod: tho that shouldn’t stop you
(13:19:13) kate9881: nervous how
(13:23:08) jeremystudiod: nervous like what if in march waggener wants me to move to seattle and you get accepted to an awesome grad program in boston
(13:23:56) kate9881: ok, but what we’ve learned in the past couple weeks is that things charge without warning and we have no clue what might happen in the coming months
(13:25:37) jeremystudiod: yeah i know
(13:25:42) jeremystudiod: i’m just saying it makes me nervous
(13:25:56) jeremystudiod: and i feel bad that it makes me nervous because of course you should apply for whatever you wnat
(13:26:35) kate9881: yeah i get it
(13:27:02) kate9881: i just think that it doesn’t hurt to at least try and see what happens
(13:27:12) jeremystudiod: are there good grad programs at seattle u?
(13:27:17) jeremystudiod: also i mea
(13:27:17) jeremystudiod: n
(13:27:29) jeremystudiod: this is something i was talking about in therapy
(13:28:42) jeremystudiod: how you’ve said that its important to you that i be really behind the seattle move and unwavering on it. and i’m not. im’ not like ‘yes seattle is where i want to spend the rest of our days’… there are parts of it i like, and i like the idea of moving somewhere that has more of the things that both of us like and less of the things we don’t, and also has a job waiting for me
(13:29:16) kate9881: hey – i wouldn’t expect ANYONE to be “unwavering”
(13:29:24) kate9881: in the real world, at least
(13:29:30) jeremystudiod: and maybe i’m not thinking about it in terms of both of us… it would be different if it was just me
(13:29:45) kate9881: i think what freaked me out is that the same day you were talking about finding a totally different city
(13:30:08) jeremystudiod: well hey, maybe you find a grad school in a totally different city that we end up liking
(13:30:42) kate9881: well, it’s not really about that for me
(13:30:46) jeremystudiod: i know
(13:31:09) kate9881: my gre will expire at some point
(13:31:23) jeremystudiod: i’m 100% on board with finding a place that is differently paced, has more access to nature, but is not a small town and still has some city amenities and some culture.
(13:31:43) kate9881: and since i’m at somewhat of a crossroads, i just think, might as well try something
(13:31:48) jeremystudiod: the fact that seattle seems to map to those things and also would keep me employed is the reason that i’m pushing for it.
(13:31:49) kate9881: or explore it at least
(13:32:03) jeremystudiod: but in fact i dont even really know if those are the things that you’re also interested in finding
(13:32:09) jeremystudiod: because i dont think i ever really asked that explicitly
(13:32:48) jeremystudiod: so maybe you want something totally different
(13:33:12) kate9881: i don’t know if i’ve ever thought about it in those terms
(13:33:33) kate9881: and i’ve changed my mind about that stuff plenty over the years
(13:33:47) kate9881: having a criteria, i mean
(13:34:19) kate9881: seattle seems cool
(13:34:32) kate9881: it does have many positive
(13:34:46) kate9881: and the things i’m worried about are things i’d probably be worried about anywhere
(13:35:20) kate9881: but my take on the whole situation is this
(13:35:39) kate9881: 1. i’d love to have everything work out and end up moving there with you
(13:36:04) kate9881: 2. i think i realize more clearly that i can’t assume that will happen
(13:36:16) kate9881: or at least, happen quickly or easily
(13:36:49) kate9881: 3. maybe i just need to do something for ME
(13:37:14) kate9881: and just see what happens
(13:38:10) kate9881: in all likelihood, probably nothing will come of it
(13:39:05) kate9881: and even if the seattle stuff totally came through in the spring and i got into a program somewhere, then it’s an embarrassment of riches
(13:39:08) jeremystudiod: of course i understand and of course i want you to do something for you (as i was saying, its hard for me to do that too, so maybe we can push each other). i’m jsut saying my gut emotional reaction was ‘fuck, what if we both have great opportunities in completely different cities.’… the abandonment stuff starts up
(13:39:27) jeremystudiod: whether its a valid concern or not
(13:39:31) kate9881: there’s no abandoning
(13:39:45) kate9881: there’s just expanding options
(13:39:59) kate9881: i’m not going anywhere without you
(13:40:26) jeremystudiod: and then it gets into ‘well i dont want her to sacrifice a great opportunity so that we can move somewhere that neither of us are 100% sold on so i can work for a company im not 100% sold on’
(13:40:41) kate9881: no one is ever 100% sold on anything
(13:41:16) kate9881: some time i should tell you about what happened when my mom and i got to phoenix
(13:42:29) kate9881: i don’t expect either of us to be 100% sold
(13:42:32) kate9881: no way
(13:42:47) kate9881: plus, then how could it ever live up to our expectations??

16:41:46) jeremystudiod: i was thinking as i was getting lunch about how i back down from asserting my needs
(16:41:58) jeremystudiod: (i’m trying to get more clarity on the actual relationship to it)
(16:42:11) kate9881: asserting your needs to whom?
(16:42:15) jeremystudiod: to whoever
(16:42:25) jeremystudiod: i mean theres probably an unconscious criteria
(16:43:30) jeremystudiod: but its like… i stop myself from calling for appointments and stuff because i think on some level i imagine that they’re going to be like ‘YOU want an appointment? no can do.’
(16:43:36) jeremystudiod: or just not listened to
(16:43:59) jeremystudiod: and on some level thats connected to my never really having gotten my needs listened to as teenager and young adult
(16:44:14) kate9881: hey, i feel like that all the time
(16:44:25) kate9881: except for me, it’s more of a fear of bothering people
(16:44:35) kate9881: or seeming to “need help”
(16:44:46) jeremystudiod: well that makes sense beccause your dad seems perpetually bothered by other humans
(16:44:50) jeremystudiod: whether its an affectation or not
(16:45:00) kate9881: maybe
(16:45:14) jeremystudiod: maybe
(16:45:16) jeremystudiod: indeed
(16:45:24) jeremystudiod: but i was thinking that maybe it connects to our sex life too
(16:45:32) jeremystudiod: like that conversation we were having
(16:45:59) jeremystudiod: maybe i assume you’re not going to want to on some level and you assume its going to be a bother
(16:46:09) jeremystudiod: you know….sometimes.
(16:46:16) kate9881: i don’t know
(16:47:22) kate9881: honestly, it often doesn’t occur to me
(16:47:47) kate9881: to haven express ‘needs’ or whatnot
(16:48:12) kate9881: to even express, i meant
(16:48:46) kate9881: i actually think it’s gotten more difficult
(16:49:02) kate9881: because now i’m probably overly concerned with ‘pleasing you’
(16:49:11) jeremystudiod: yeah
(16:49:32) kate9881: and most of the time i don’t feel like i’ve ‘succeeded’
(16:49:37) jeremystudiod: and i’m overly concerned with everything being ‘fine’
(16:50:20) jeremystudiod: or something
(16:50:29) kate9881: well, i don’t really know what ‘fine’ is. by my definition, it already is ‘fine’
(16:51:07) kate9881: i think sometimes all the conversations and stuff are just piling up the expectations
(16:51:46) jeremystudiod: possibly but i’m also not sure how we get more spontaneous without hashing out whats keeping us from being spontaneous more
(16:52:07) kate9881: i don’t know. but i definitely feel more nervous now
(16:52:15) jeremystudiod: well dont be nervous
(16:52:32) kate9881: i feel like every encounter is being graded or something
(16:52:46) jeremystudiod: hm
(16:53:09) kate9881: did this please jeremy enough so that it won’t become part of the discussion later?
(16:53:15) jeremystudiod: oh
(16:53:22) jeremystudiod: i really dont mean for it to be like that
(16:53:32) jeremystudiod: i’m sorry if thats how it has come off
(16:53:37) kate9881: hey, this is coming out of my own head
(16:53:39) jeremystudiod: i know
(16:53:45) kate9881: doesn’t mean it’s objective
(16:55:17) kate9881: and that’s not to say i haven’t been enjoying myself, because i definitely have
(16:55:19) jeremystudiod: i dont even realy know how to phrase how i feel about it other than what we’ve already said and that it seems like we both have some stuff around being spontaneous and integrating it into our overall life together
(16:55:44) kate9881: but at the same time, i’m now more worried that you aren’t enjoying yourself or something
(16:55:54) jeremystudiod: i absolutely love playing with you
(16:56:15) jeremystudiod: thats not what i’m talking about
(16:56:27) jeremystudiod: i think its part of the challenges of learning to live together
(16:56:37) jeremystudiod: figuring out how to be spontaneous
(16:57:05) kate9881: yes
(16:57:36) kate9881: but i mean, i’m the first to admit that i’m not the smoothest person when it comes to spontaneous initiating stuff
(16:57:44) jeremystudiod: i was talking to my therapist about feeling like everything needs to be either perfect or needing to be ‘fixed’
(16:58:01) kate9881: nothing is perfect and nothing is ever totally fixed
(16:58:18) jeremystudiod: and he made the point that a functional relationship involves pretty regular ‘tweaking’ in order to optimize… that doesn’t mean that something was wrong before
(16:58:37) jeremystudiod: and with sex especially, in my head if theres something that could use some tweaking it also means that something is ‘wrong’
(16:59:05) kate9881: yeah
(16:59:16) jeremystudiod: which isn’t true
(16:59:41) kate9881: it just feels like, in the past few weeks or so, you seem kind of sad afterward or something
(16:59:54) jeremystudiod: hm
(17:00:20) kate9881: and what immediately pops into my mind is “you’re not pleasing him! you’re not good enough!”
(17:00:28) jeremystudiod: the past few weeks i’ve been kinda off in general. it rarely if ever has to do with you
(17:00:57) jeremystudiod: well, next time those thoughts come up, you can ask me or tell me or whatever
(17:01:07) jeremystudiod: i’ve been generally in more of a snuggly mood than a sexy one
(17:02:08) kate9881: ok
(17:02:31) kate9881: i’m perfectly happy to do more snuggling
(17:03:03) jeremystudiod: i’m feeling kinda vulnerable and stuff… thinking about this whole thing with my dad
(17:04:04) jeremystudiod: so basically i’m trying to take the angle that its not that anything is ‘wrong’ with our playtime its that we both maybe need to give ourselves permission to enjoy it more?
(17:04:29) jeremystudiod: and i’m sorry if my wanting to talk about it led you to a different conclusion
(17:06:02) kate9881: it’s ok
(17:06:15) kate9881: i have weird issues too
(17:06:23) jeremystudiod: really?
(17:06:25) kate9881: so this is coming from that too
(17:06:30) jeremystudiod: dammit i wish you’d told me this before!
(17:06:32) jeremystudiod: 😉
(17:06:40) kate9881: there is nothing ‘wrong’
(17:07:00) kate9881: and yes, we do need to give ourselves permission to enjoy it

Written by admin

October 15th, 2010 at 5:36 pm

Posted in Kate