Private Journal – Keep Out.

new findings

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resistance to excitment/creativity was a way sto exert control over my life, also mirrors dad’s ‘my way or the highway’ approach to what i’m ‘allowed too do’

talked with mom about dad ‘putting family first’…says he always wanted to amke sure that i was provided for, but art was always first for him abotve all else even before i was born…when they were goint otr be married he warned her that art would always come first…used to warn his class “if you can do anything other than art, go do that instead” and that eople like him shouldn’t have kids.

art was like a preferred sibling, which is why i get triggered to be angry and resentful in places like museums, where art is revered, and why i have internal blockages about my own creative output. need to try to take on projects that are simple enough not to trigger my resistance.

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August 30th, 2011 at 7:05 pm

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