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Private Journal – Keep Out.

Reflections on relationship

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I feel sick to my stonach and betrayed

I dont want to lose her

has she been avoiding physical intimacy with me for so long?

What does this mean

Can we still make it work?

I want to

I’m really scared.

Why won’t the tears come?

We need to be talking more.

I feel really hurt. I dont want my relationship to be without passion

I don’t want to turn into her parents, who dont even hold hands

What is going on

Do i believe we can fix it?

We hvae to

There is no other option

I must not listen to my thoughts, the pattern recognition is often pattern creation. I look, i find.

We need to reaffirm our commitment to each other.

I can’t go back over the chat log It’s pain porn.

Things are not really different from yesterday except that shes been more honest with me about some things. The feelings are still there.

I thought this was not going to happen with this relationship.

I guess it is always something.

We WILL figure it out.

We may need help.

I’m really scared.

I still want to be here.

Can continue to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t want to be physically intimate with me?

Is that the actual question? Are those the circumstances? Is that true? What’s really going on? What has my role been in this? What needs to change?

We need to be talking about this more.

And getting more sleep

We can move forward

Why is my brain telling me that this is it?

Just because you think it, doesn’t make it true.

It is not for me to fill in the blanks. Brain will fill in blanks with scary stuff that isn’t real.

And yet still i feel dark. It will pass. No decisions today. Just take it slowly and rebuild better and stronger.

 

Written by admin

November 29th, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Posted in Kate

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