sdcjournal

Private Journal – Keep Out.

If i had no fear – in no particular order

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i would do yoga and/or some kind of exercise to bring my body into a better condition, even if it was hard at first. I would have a compassionate teacher who would help me through, in a way that would not bring back old gym class fears. I would invest in myself more, in this way, and be more consistently healthful with my food choices, while also allowing for ice cream and such.

I would spend more time helping people unstick themselves and helping them reframe their challenges and passions and dig into their core.  This would pay me decently, though it wouldn’t be about the money.  I would get some training and potentially some certification so that I would feel comfortable using these skills with people I don’t already know.

I would have a few other skills that I enjoy helping others with that could bring in some income.  I would make sure that I had the tools both to do do these skills for people in a way that I feel comfortable with and also the tools to manage the financial aspects of a life that includes a bunch of different incomes, and the implications therein.

This would allow me to reduce the amount of financial assistance I’m getting from my mother so that I dont feel like a burden.

I would also create some kind of regular creative output that was ‘just for me’, so that I could feel like my ratio of consumption to production was on track. I would get any equipment and instruction i need in order for the technical aspects of this output to not be a hindrance.

I would give myself the freedoms to act on my own behalf, and ask for a kick in the pants when I know that i need it. I would have clarity into my self-sabotaging habits and be able to recognize and acknowledge when they come up without letting them keep me from acting.

I would let go of old wounds as much as possible, and stop feeling guilty about my relationship with my father.

I would journal more, and spend some reflective time each day, without my life turning into a series of self-help projects to the extent that I’m not actually living it.

My relationship would be open and supportive of both our individual growth and our growth as a couple.  We would both be confident and act from enlightened self-interest, while giving each other the room to falter.

I would not be as reliant on my partner for social energy, and would each have our own friends, so that our time together would be more of a conscious choice rather than a default.

My sex life would be fun, adventurous and thrilling on balance with romantic and intimate.  I would feel confident and well-versed enough to talk about what I want in the moment and to help my partner give me the best pleasure, so that she would not have to guess to ‘guess’.  I would expect the same from my partner, and be supportive toward that goal for both of us.

It would be okay if these things weren’t all happening perfectly all at the same time.  I would feel confident enough to manage the plates.

Written by admin

May 6th, 2013 at 2:19 am

Posted in General Discussion

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