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Archive for June, 2013

musings on being alone

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when i’m alone without kate, sometimes i get worried that we are not as good of a match as we seem to think we are.  sometimes i feel like i’ve outpaced her in terms of personal growth and wanting to try new things, and she’s more of a weight keeping me from doing those thing sbecause of her anxiety-as-default-response thing.  this scares me a lot a lot.

 

i do realize that we end up talking about this in therapy, it just sometimes comes up that we might be too different ot have this work and have us both be happy.  I also realize that every time i seem to feel that way, kate surprises me.  I just really hate tsome parts of our relationship that seem like i’m dragging her along and that she really just wants to be comfortable and safe and taken care of, and while all those things are great, they cannot be the only thing.

I think the truth of it is that i’m bored and fidgety. i love her a lot, and maybe this isn’t just about my relationship.  but it is something that keeps coming up.

scary things.

 

 

Written by admin

June 6th, 2013 at 12:19 am

Posted in Kate