Private Journal – Keep Out.

Archive for October, 2014

Thoughts on Acceptance Vs Change

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  • not accepting feels powerful, maybe?
  • should be doing more
  • nyc state of mind (if i’m not acting, i’m wasting time)
  • trying not to get mired in ‘why’
  • i look at situations where i might find joy or relief and feel myself grow very uncomfortable (self-conscious, ashamed) and push away (not for me, too scary)
  • Constant judgment that I’m doing the wrong thing or not what I should.background buzz
  • If I didn’t feel “stuck”was such a negative shameful thing then it world be much simpler to figure out a mantra that supports me
  • Want the ppl who care about me to be proud, don’t feel like I’ve done anything worthy their praise in a long time
  • Discredit accomplishments,rewrite story to fit wasting life narrative
  • “What I did today”/gratitude lists: used to do, helped sometimes, sometimes felt inadequate
  • accomplishment, creation vs consumption, what is my drive?
  • constant judgment for not creating …something about being ordinary?
  • Pressure to be creating vs “normal”, wasting potential, lazy

Written by admin

October 6th, 2014 at 10:21 pm