sdcjournal

SoftLord (9:10:19 P): real iced tea, bartender buying you
drinks, hazelnut, the smell of cement after it rains,
the smell of new york in mid-may, knowing that she’s
stealing the t-shirt, being IMed at work and told that
she’s only wearing the t-shirt, spending the day in
central park with a digital camera, sharing a glance
with a total stranger on the street as a tourist does
something stupid, spending a little more to get
something extra special, real-time communication

TheDaliKiss returned at 9:12:04 P.

TheDaliKiss (9:12:04 P): i make my own green tea and carry it
around, my best friend is the bar tender, and hi!

SoftLord (9:12:17 P): *grin* hey you

SoftLord (9:12:39 P): i was totally debating whether
to put ‘green tea ice cream’ on that one

TheDaliKiss (9:12:49 P): lol

TheDaliKiss (9:12:55 P): not a big fan actually

SoftLord (9:13:06 P): oh well…thats it…see ya 😉

SoftLord (9:13:23 P): it has to be really good

TheDaliKiss (9:13:25 P): oh no

TheDaliKiss (9:13:32 P): -sniffsniff-

SoftLord (9:13:43 P): *grin* *hands you a box of
tissues*

TheDaliKiss (9:14:09 P): -giggles and pulls out grandma’s lace
hankie-

TheDaliKiss (9:14:21 P): -impish little grin- one must love their
quirks

SoftLord (9:14:28 P): of course

SoftLord (9:14:37 P): otherwise everyone would be
the same

SoftLord (9:14:43 P): it’d be like… you know…. all
those places in the middle

TheDaliKiss (9:14:43 P): exactly

TheDaliKiss (9:15:12 P): why be run of the mill when their
exists the possibility of wonder and enchantment

SoftLord (9:15:27 P): normal = the devil

TheDaliKiss (9:15:37 P): naw

TheDaliKiss (9:15:43 P): i’d love to meet the devil

TheDaliKiss (9:15:47 P): bet he’s pretty cool

SoftLord (9:15:56 P): he hangs out with good
company

SoftLord (9:16:17 P): brb…2secs

TheDaliKiss (9:16:25 P): k

SoftLord (9:19:13 P): back

SoftLord (9:19:14 P): miss me? 😉

TheDaliKiss (9:20:03 P): yep[

TheDaliKiss (9:20:06 P): my turn

TheDaliKiss (9:20:07 P): 🙂

SoftLord (9:20:17 P): i was just gonna say… go for it

TheDaliKiss (9:22:17 P): dinner time

SoftLord (9:22:29 P): ohh… your turn for brb, not to
add to the list

SoftLord (9:22:36 P): i just finished Lombardi’s

TheDaliKiss (9:22:37 P): got the best friend on the couch,
stealing wifi from somebody in the building, me over here, eating
chili

SoftLord (9:22:54 P): lol… my best friend is on her
way over, i have my own wifi, and i just finished
Lombardi’s

TheDaliKiss (9:22:59 P): still woatching field of dreams

TheDaliKiss (9:23:03 P): nice

SoftLord (9:23:11 P): still or again?

TheDaliKiss (9:23:12 P): we’re doing the chili and ribs thing

TheDaliKiss (9:23:15 P): still

SoftLord (9:23:22 P): *sends you Tums*

TheDaliKiss (9:23:24 P): as in, hasn’t left the player

SoftLord (9:23:33 P): ahh… its been out for a bit tho,
i have a copy

TheDaliKiss (9:23:34 P): my favorite movie of all time

TheDaliKiss (9:23:44 P): yeah, but i got paid friday

TheDaliKiss (9:23:45 P): 🙂

SoftLord (9:23:49 P): you like the magical aspects in
everyday life

TheDaliKiss (9:24:41 P): everybody should

TheDaliKiss (9:24:47 P): the world is full of magical things

TheDaliKiss (9:24:52 P): nobody pays attention

SoftLord (9:24:58 P): s’true

TheDaliKiss (9:25:14 P): -grins- i try to see as much as i can

SoftLord (9:25:33 P): and there is such a thing as a
tesseract

TheDaliKiss (9:26:18 P): omg

TheDaliKiss (9:26:27 P): who are you?

SoftLord (9:26:36 P): Jeremy…nicetameetcha

TheDaliKiss (9:26:42 P): l’engle… i loved those

TheDaliKiss (9:26:46 P): i still have them

SoftLord (9:26:51 P): i figured

TheDaliKiss (9:26:51 P): Jennifer

TheDaliKiss (9:26:57 P): ditto

SoftLord (9:26:59 P): i have mine from junior high
school

TheDaliKiss (9:27:17 P): me too

TheDaliKiss (9:27:22 P): and earlier i think

TheDaliKiss (9:27:25 P): as a child

SoftLord (9:27:59 P): yeah

SoftLord (9:28:04 P): do you have the little ones?

SoftLord (9:28:27 P): or the ones with the yellow
border

TheDaliKiss (9:28:55 P): hummm

TheDaliKiss (9:29:00 P): yellow i think

TheDaliKiss (9:29:33 P): i inherited them from a cousin or
something

TheDaliKiss (9:31:28 P): ‘ello?

SoftLord (9:31:34 P): hey hey

SoftLord (9:31:35 P): sorry

SoftLord (9:31:38 P): had to let Sue in

TheDaliKiss (9:31:41 P): ah

TheDaliKiss (9:31:51 P): i have a dara

SoftLord (9:32:00 P): did you see the wrinkle in time
movie on disney?

TheDaliKiss (9:32:04 P): but mostly i call her ookie or asshole

TheDaliKiss (9:32:17 P): no i didn’t, i haven’t had TV in 6
years

SoftLord (9:32:28 P): you haven’t missed much

SoftLord (9:32:31 P): theres some good stuff tho

SoftLord (9:32:34 P): luckily most of it is out on DVD

SoftLord (9:32:48 P): you’d really like all of the Aaron
Sorkin shows, I think

TheDaliKiss (9:33:11 P): ok

SoftLord (9:33:22 P): he’s an amazing writer

SoftLord (9:33:27 P): SportsNight, The West Wing

TheDaliKiss (9:33:53 P): simpsons, family guy, married with
children

TheDaliKiss (9:34:01 P): muppet show

TheDaliKiss (9:34:04 P): 🙂

SoftLord (9:34:24 P): mupppppets

TheDaliKiss (9:34:33 P): 45 episodes

SoftLord (9:34:35 P): *looks up at his shelves full of
muppet show figures*

TheDaliKiss (9:34:37 P): on dvd

TheDaliKiss (9:34:41 P): oh my

SoftLord (9:34:44 P): i have ’em on VHS

TheDaliKiss (9:34:52 P): really?

SoftLord (9:34:55 P): and the muppet movie = top 5

TheDaliKiss (9:35:03 P): yup

TheDaliKiss (9:35:08 P): and tresure island

SoftLord (9:35:08 P): yeah…i pre-ordered before they
came out on DVD cause i’m a maroon

TheDaliKiss (9:35:14 P): awww

TheDaliKiss (9:35:21 P): i waited till i wasn’t poor

SoftLord (9:35:26 P): and Labyrinth

TheDaliKiss (9:35:39 P): Bowie

SoftLord (9:35:46 P): not just for bowie in spandex

SoftLord (9:35:47 P): but yes

TheDaliKiss (9:35:56 P): -tries to be discreet in her drooling-
Bowie…

SoftLord (9:35:57 P): i just saw him at jones beach
2wks ago

SoftLord (9:36:01 P): lol…agreed

TheDaliKiss (9:36:02 P): no bshit

SoftLord (9:36:03 P): i’d so do him

TheDaliKiss (9:36:04 P): no shit

TheDaliKiss (9:36:06 P): i was there too

TheDaliKiss (9:36:12 P): omg

SoftLord (9:36:13 P): ?!

SoftLord (9:36:14 P): where

TheDaliKiss (9:37:25 P): dead center, but up a little

TheDaliKiss (9:37:40 P): from the main level aisle

SoftLord (9:37:48 P): orchestra or balcony

TheDaliKiss (9:37:48 P): like 12 rows up or something

TheDaliKiss (9:37:58 P): between

SoftLord (9:38:02 P): i was all the way on the right in
the back of the orchestra

TheDaliKiss (9:38:14 P): i dunno

TheDaliKiss (9:38:19 P): was good

TheDaliKiss (9:38:23 P): great set list

SoftLord (9:38:24 P): yea

SoftLord (9:38:28 P): love polyphonic spree

TheDaliKiss (9:38:51 P): creamed my pants when he went into
station to station and lady midnight

SoftLord (9:39:07 P): it was very amusing how
obviously annoyed he was to be doing ‘china girl’
and ‘modern love’

TheDaliKiss (9:39:15 P): yeah

TheDaliKiss (9:39:34 P): but i love both those song, no matter
what anybody says

SoftLord (9:39:36 P): he hates that stuff

TheDaliKiss (9:39:49 P): i know

TheDaliKiss (9:40:12 P): still thought it was a better show then
december at the garden

SoftLord (9:40:32 P): haven’t seen him since Area2

TheDaliKiss (9:40:45 P): ah

SoftLord (9:41:21 P): but yeah…mmm…bowie

TheDaliKiss (9:41:30 P): my dad took me to both shows

SoftLord (9:41:39 P): i got free tix from work 🙂

TheDaliKiss (9:41:40 P): he’s so the god of everything cool

TheDaliKiss (9:41:44 P): nice

SoftLord (9:41:53 P): its nice having a cool job 🙂

TheDaliKiss (9:42:10 P): i really wouldn’t know

TheDaliKiss (9:42:16 P): i just have cool parents

SoftLord (9:42:18 P): hehe

SoftLord (9:42:21 P): thats good too

TheDaliKiss (9:43:06 P): yup

TheDaliKiss (9:43:30 P): mine happen to be great, i lucked out

TheDaliKiss (9:43:48 P): mom taught me how to roll a jay
-grins-

SoftLord (9:44:09 P): my mom keeps trying to get me
to try weed… i just tell her that i dont need
anything to make me more mellow

SoftLord (9:45:06 P): 🙂

TheDaliKiss (9:45:30 P): that must be nice

SoftLord (9:45:39 P): hehe… are you stressy?

TheDaliKiss (9:45:50 P): kinda

TheDaliKiss (9:45:55 P): in a me sorta way

SoftLord (9:46:00 P): what was your job before
quitting?

TheDaliKiss (9:46:06 P): real estate

TheDaliKiss (9:46:13 P): shady mcfuckers

SoftLord (9:46:17 P): sounds…enthralling

TheDaliKiss (9:46:31 P): i was actually having a good time

TheDaliKiss (9:46:42 P): though shady as shit, very cool anf
fun people

TheDaliKiss (9:47:01 P): and even

TheDaliKiss (9:47:07 P): forgive the typos

SoftLord (9:47:13 P): i knew what you meant

TheDaliKiss (9:47:22 P): i figured, but its polite

SoftLord (9:47:26 P): its grammar i will be anal about

SoftLord (9:47:30 P): um

SoftLord (9:47:37 P): it’s grammar I will be anal about

TheDaliKiss (9:47:44 P): be warned, mine is very creative

TheDaliKiss (9:47:51 P): and i type like i speak seemingly

SoftLord (9:48:06 P): yeah well i like you so I’ll go
easy 🙂

TheDaliKiss (9:48:11 P): i just love playing with language

SoftLord (9:48:32 P): creative is fine… its the
they’re/their/there and its/it’s stuff that bugs me

SoftLord (9:48:39 P): and ‘perverted’

TheDaliKiss (9:48:43 P): the written word is my first and
truest love and i mispell fluently in 3 languages

TheDaliKiss (9:48:59 P): i have issues with the its it’s

SoftLord (9:49:09 P): which 3?

TheDaliKiss (9:49:12 P): but i’m pretty good with the rest of
them

TheDaliKiss (9:49:20 P): english, french, spanish

SoftLord (9:49:24 P): interesting

SoftLord (9:49:43 P): i know enough Spanish that i
generally get the idea when people are talking
about me in restaurants and think i dont
understnad

SoftLord (9:49:52 P): not enough to be conversant
unless its an emergency

TheDaliKiss (9:50:12 P): works

SoftLord (9:50:26 P): and you know what they
say…you know one romance language…

TheDaliKiss (9:50:32 P): i didn’t really have a choice

TheDaliKiss (9:50:39 P): not as true as they say

TheDaliKiss (9:51:44 P): i’m in Im’s with my friend sitting on
the couch next to each other

TheDaliKiss (9:51:50 P): -giggling-

SoftLord (9:52:07 P): *chokes back, as he stops IMing
sue, sitting next to me with my laptop*

SoftLord (9:52:16 P): are you quoting me?

TheDaliKiss (9:52:43 P): no

SoftLord (9:52:48 P): k

TheDaliKiss (9:52:49 P): being serious

TheDaliKiss (9:53:00 P): she’s stealing wifi from somebody in
the building

TheDaliKiss (9:53:11 P): my computer sucks and i’m poor so
i’m on dialup

SoftLord (9:53:17 P): you poor poor baby

TheDaliKiss (9:53:32 P): -single tear-

SoftLord (9:53:39 P): like the indian

TheDaliKiss (9:53:45 P): and my screen is busted so i’m hooked
up to a moniter

TheDaliKiss (9:54:02 P): but still typing on the laptop

TheDaliKiss (9:54:05 P): 🙁

TheDaliKiss (9:54:26 P): but i’m a little sacred of how alike
this is getting

SoftLord (9:54:34 P): all of the downside of a laptop
and none of the upside

SoftLord (9:54:39 P): well i’m sure there are some
differences

TheDaliKiss (9:54:50 P): well sure

TheDaliKiss (9:54:54 P): but still

SoftLord (9:54:58 P): you’re a girl and i’m a buy

SoftLord (9:54:58 P): boy

TheDaliKiss (9:55:26 P): which works

SoftLord (9:55:37 P): definitely

TheDaliKiss (9:55:57 P): i need a smiley with horns

SoftLord (9:56:05 P): O:-)

SoftLord (9:56:13 P): with the implication

TheDaliKiss (9:57:35 P): i?

TheDaliKiss (9:57:36 P): imply?

TheDaliKiss (9:57:40 P): neeevvver

SoftLord (9:57:58 P): i find >🙂 works for horns

SoftLord (9:58:03 P): er…without the graphical

SoftLord (9:58:06 P): >🙂

SoftLord (9:58:10 P): durnit

TheDaliKiss (9:58:44 P):

TheEternalMuse (8:54:04 P): hey…i’m afraid to IM
anybody because it says i’m logged on from
elsewhere..which is impossible..I never logged on from
work today.

SoftLord (8:54:20 P): your cell, maybe?

TheEternalMuse (8:54:28 P): i just checked…im not
logged on

SoftLord (8:54:45 P): when you sign on and you’re
signed on from another screen name it usually says
you can type "1" to sign off all theo ther locations

SoftLord (8:54:55 P): did that not happen?

TheEternalMuse (8:55:32 P): hmm..not sure if I did that

TheEternalMuse (8:55:49 P): omg last time…i forgot to
log off from work ..but i had the monitor off

TheEternalMuse (8:55:52 P): and our whole convo ws
there

TheEternalMuse (8:55:55 P): lol

SoftLord (8:55:59 P): heh

SoftLord (8:56:04 P): hope i didn’t say anything
embarrassing

TheEternalMuse (8:56:16 P): oh it was all sorts of
embarrassing. thank goodness nobody saw lol

SoftLord (8:56:24 P): uh oh

SoftLord (8:56:25 P): 😉

SoftLord (8:56:46 P): as long as it wasn’t our convo
from sunday night

SoftLord (8:56:49 P): 😛

TheEternalMuse (8:57:13 P): lol

TheEternalMuse (8:57:19 P): ricky was a young boy

TheEternalMuse (8:57:21 P): he had a heart of stone

SoftLord (8:57:29 P): that sucks for ricky

SoftLord (8:59:01 P): hearts werent meant to be
stone

TheEternalMuse (8:59:40 P): I really like this song

SoftLord (8:59:43 P): what is it

TheEternalMuse (8:59:49 P): 18 and life

SoftLord (8:59:51 P): oh

SoftLord (8:59:52 P): right

SoftLord (8:59:54 P): sorry

SoftLord (9:00:04 P): just came back from the rock n
roll church offices…thats who i’m spinning for
tomorrow

TheEternalMuse (9:00:21 P): what kind of music are u
spinning

SoftLord (9:00:27 P): stuff you like

SoftLord (9:00:31 P): 80s, rock, goth

SoftLord (9:00:44 P): bowie, depeche mode, t. rex,
guns n roses

TheEternalMuse (9:00:59 P): sweet!

SoftLord (9:01:05 P): should be a fun tim

SoftLord (9:01:05 P): e

SoftLord (9:01:10 P): trying to get trent to show up

TheEternalMuse (9:01:27 P): oh wow..i hope he does

SoftLord (9:02:10 P): it wouldn’t suck

SoftLord (9:02:36 P): a friend of mine knows him, so

TheEternalMuse (9:03:07 P): awesome

TheEternalMuse (9:03:16 P): hey..did u ever like that
song I just want you by ozzy osbourne

TheEternalMuse (9:03:21 P): from the ozzmosis album

SoftLord (9:03:27 P): ozzmosis is my fave ozzy record

TheEternalMuse (9:03:31 P): oh nice

TheEternalMuse (9:03:40 P): not my favorite album, but
certainly akick ass album

TheEternalMuse (9:03:49 P): I got it when it first came
out

SoftLord (9:04:12 P): i bought it after seeing the perry
mason video on mtv

SoftLord (9:04:21 P): that seems like such a long time
ago now, since they played a video on mtv

TheEternalMuse (9:06:10 P): i remember i just want
you..the video

SoftLord (9:06:20 P): i dont ask much, i just want you

TheEternalMuse (9:06:43 P): and see you on the other
side

SoftLord (9:07:09 P): i like ‘ghost behind my eyes’ too

TheEternalMuse (9:07:17 P): yeah, that was awesome

SoftLord (9:07:28 P): zakk’s shredding

TheEternalMuse (9:07:42 P): yes!!!

SoftLord (9:07:53 P): 🙂

SoftLord (9:07:58 P): i like how you get excited about
stuff we agree on

TheEternalMuse (9:08:05 P): hahaha

TheEternalMuse (9:08:09 P): I’m a music junkie

SoftLord (9:08:12 P): i know

SoftLord (9:08:21 P): i was just saying i like it

TheEternalMuse (9:09:28 P): im listening to mr crowley

TheEternalMuse (9:09:31 P): guitar solo part

TheEternalMuse (9:09:36 P): sends shivers down my
spine

TheEternalMuse (9:09:39 P): guitar solos get to me

SoftLord (9:09:52 P): go put on some dream theater
its like all guitar solos

TheEternalMuse (9:09:58 P): i Kjnow i know

TheEternalMuse (9:10:00 P): lol

TheEternalMuse (9:10:08 P): choice music for music
nerds

SoftLord (9:10:16 P): speak for yourself, i’m a geek

TheEternalMuse (9:10:29 P): im a nerd

SoftLord (9:10:32 P): ok

TheEternalMuse (9:10:35 P): lol

TheEternalMuse (9:10:49 P): I’m definitely nerd

SoftLord (9:10:55 P): nothign wrong with that i guess

SoftLord (9:12:06 P): so miss nerd

TheEternalMuse (9:12:26 P): lloll

TheEternalMuse (9:12:37 P): cuz i do think i have a
poshness to me

TheEternalMuse (9:12:42 P): but i’m a definite nerd

SoftLord (9:12:51 P): ok 🙂

SoftLord (9:13:03 P): you’re just Sonya

TheEternalMuse (9:13:08 P): sometimes im
sarcastic…and i usually feel bad

TheEternalMuse (9:13:11 P): lol

TheEternalMuse (9:13:14 P): i feel guilt

SoftLord (9:13:27 P): comes from being nicer than
your scene allows, i think

TheEternalMuse (9:13:52 P): I have no scene really

TheEternalMuse (9:13:59 P): I’m a scene whore…i visit
all scenes

SoftLord (9:14:06 P): well thats even worse

TheEternalMuse (9:14:07 P): and then i go into my own
corner

SoftLord (9:14:13 P): gotta play lowest common
denominator

TheEternalMuse (9:14:13 P): i dont belong

SoftLord (9:14:52 P): so yesterday and today talking
with you it hasn’t seemed like you really want any
company in your corner

TheEternalMuse (9:15:04 P): I’m a loner

TheEternalMuse (9:15:08 P): I mean i socialize

TheEternalMuse (9:15:11 P): but then i’m a loner

TheEternalMuse (9:15:22 P): I have lots of friends..but
nobody close

SoftLord (9:15:30 P): are you okay with that?

TheEternalMuse (9:15:33 P): yeah

TheEternalMuse (9:15:38 P): I have this wall up

SoftLord (9:15:41 P): yes i know

TheEternalMuse (9:15:47 P): i mean i always have
invitations and hang outs and stuff

TheEternalMuse (9:15:53 P): but emotionally I dont
really let anybody in

SoftLord (9:16:00 P): yes i know

TheEternalMuse (9:16:09 P): its’ served me well until
now…cant really think of anytime i’ve been really hurt

SoftLord (9:17:22 P): cause honestly… i have friends,
but anyone thats special to me, i need to know
that they’re going to let me in and vice versa, otherwise i dont necessarily feel like the relationship is worth the effort…if theres only so far i can see the person…i feel like
we’re on this planet to learn about ourselves and to connect with other people

SoftLord (9:17:55 P): i was like that for a long time… would never talk about myself, wouldn’t really let anyone except a few in and even then not that much… and then i realized
how horribly lonely i was

TheEternalMuse (9:18:06 P): see…I’m not lonely

SoftLord (9:18:07 P): and now i’m trying to let people in…certain people that i feel i can trust

TheEternalMuse (9:18:08 P): not at all

TheEternalMuse (9:18:14 P): I choose to be..’alone’

TheEternalMuse (9:18:19 P): i’m not yearning for companionship

SoftLord (9:18:23 P): ok

SoftLord (9:18:27 P): well then, i guess that’s that

TheEternalMuse (9:18:41 P): I think youre awesome and i’d definitely hold you closer than most

TheEternalMuse (9:18:50 P): my friend adam is one of those also

SoftLord (9:19:00 P): thanks, i think you’re awesome too…but i dont know if that can be enough for me

TheEternalMuse (9:19:09 P): wht do you mean

SoftLord (9:19:31 P): thinking about how to explain

SoftLord (9:22:37 P): it says in my myspace profile that i’m good at seeing through peoples BS facades… and thats true… but if i’m with someone or open myself up to someone i
need to know that they’re opening themselves up to me too… because what i end up really being interested in isn’t necessarily someone’s looks or their surface personality, but
what i see inside them…and getting access to that part of someone… what i think people call intimacy… and if i know at the outset that someone is just fine with being totally
closed off from that happening, then it ends up just being me wanting to get behind the wall and resenting the person for not letting me in enough to really kiss their soul, and i
really dont want to resent you…i’ve had a lot of relationships that were like that and they hurt

SoftLord (9:23:27 P): and yeah fine the aesthetic and the humor and the cd collection and everything are definite attractors, but they’re all part of the rest

SoftLord (9:24:36 P): up until 03, i would always have a girl in my life who i was very attracted to where we’d basically be everything-but-the-intimacy dating…except they would
be really dating someone else and i wouldn’t…i’d always be the shoulder to cry on, the person to rant about other boys, the "why can’t i find someone like you"… duckie,
basically

SoftLord (9:25:02 P): but i stuck around because i could see them, what i felt was the ‘real’ them, and that part attracted me

TheEternalMuse (9:25:08 P): wht are you asking of me?

SoftLord (9:25:12 P): and i put myself through such BS

SoftLord (9:30:05 P): i dont really know… i know this kinda seems like our interaction isn’t at this point yet…but … i dunno… i know you dont play games, but i kinda feel
mixed-messagey.. the .. i’m attracted to you but i need to see if somethings gonna happen with the guy who ive been crushing on for a month who i see all the time and doesnt
know i exist (even though for someone to have you on their radar and not act on it one way or the other for a month, i think theyd have to be blind, engaged or just a total
moron), the "you turn me on so much" but stuff gets rescheduled (And yes i know you’re a busy girl)… i guess i just kinda would like to know where you’d ideally see me fitting
into your life for the next few weeks, so i know how excited to be that we’ve met

SoftLord (9:30:50 P): and i’m not blaming you for the mixed signals…i know about the weird transition period stuff and the in a weird place stuff

TheEternalMuse (9:33:07 P): I dont think he doesnt notice me

SoftLord (9:33:11 P): i just cant do the ‘maybe she likes me as a friend maybe she likes me as boyfriend material i guess ill never know until something definitive happens but oh
wait every time i try to see her there are other plans’ thing again… and i know parts of this is not your stuff its my stuff, but you said on friday that we should be honest, so
here i am being honest

TheEternalMuse (9:33:48 P): look i dont want to lead you on because i’m mad about this other guy

TheEternalMuse (9:33:51 P): and i’ve been telling u this

TheEternalMuse (9:33:59 P): and i’m sorry if I was honest to tell u that i am attracted to you

SoftLord (9:34:01 P): but you also told me that i shouldnt back off

TheEternalMuse (9:34:16 P): but i’m mad about t his other guy and i’m not exploring my options right now

TheEternalMuse (9:34:26 P): just focussing on him

TheEternalMuse (9:34:38 P): I cant focus on other options until i know for sure

TheEternalMuse (9:34:41 P): with this other dude

SoftLord (9:34:53 P): doesn’t seem like you’re doing very much to figure that out though…maybe i’m wrong

SoftLord (9:35:11 P): dont be sorry… you can see though how it might put me in an uncomfortable positoin

TheEternalMuse (9:35:35 P): I dont do anything about it because I get very nervous around this guy

TheEternalMuse (9:35:37 P): i cant breath

TheEternalMuse (9:35:41 P): i cant do anything

TheEternalMuse (9:35:45 P): i become immobile

TheEternalMuse (9:35:51 P): he does stare at m e a lot

TheEternalMuse (9:35:54 P): which I think is a good sign

TheEternalMuse (9:36:08 P): and when i do try to talk to him..i sound like a complete dumb moronic valley girl

TheEternalMuse (9:36:18 P): so until i can calm my nerves..ill make no attempts

SoftLord (9:36:45 P): ok well… you can see how i wouldn’t want to be in a holding pattern until something that may or may not ever happen actually happens

TheEternalMuse (9:38:08 P): but are you understanding me

TheEternalMuse (9:38:14 P): i’m not trying to see how things go with others

TheEternalMuse (9:38:22 P): until I achieve a resolution with the feelings i do have

SoftLord (9:42:07 P): and i guess i’m saying that i’m kind of feeling like i dont feel so okay with just hanging out until you decide if you’re really going to marry this guy, when i
guess i feel like there is definitively potential for something between us whereas there may or may not be something between you and this other fellow…

TheEternalMuse (9:43:43 P): Yeah, but feelings aren’t up for analysis…they either are or they arent…and they really are towards this guy..and have been for a while now. Even if things were not to
have worked out with this guy…it’s not like i’d be over him anytime soon. i’ve never felt this way ..ever.

SoftLord (9:44:05 P): ok so you’re saying that i shouldn’t be pursuing

TheEternalMuse (9:44:23 P): not now for sure

SoftLord (9:44:35 P): ok well then i guess that’s that.

TheEternalMuse (9:44:50 P): I thought you were clear about this

SoftLord (9:46:27 P): what i heard from you is that you think i’m awesome and i turn you on and we have a lot in common and have opened up to each other, but theres someone
that you have a thing for that you were hoping to resolve one way or the other, but you didn’t want me to back off since there still could be something here

TheEternalMuse (9:46:47 P): I didn tell u not to back off though

TheEternalMuse (9:46:57 P): i just let u do ..what u felt was appropriate

TheEternalMuse (9:47:06 P): I mean i came out and told u i was in luv with somebodu

TheEternalMuse (9:47:18 P): I didnt think i had to spell out every detail

TheEternalMuse (9:47:25 P): that would be enough for most ppl

TheEternalMuse (9:47:48 P): if somebody toldme they were in luv with somebody..i’d just back off the pursuit..and if i dug them enough..be cool being friends for the time being.

TheEternalMuse (9:47:52 P): but then again..thats me

TheEternalMuse (9:49:44 P): i thought u meant u were gonna stop talking to me for good

TheEternalMuse (9:50:20 P): hence the i like having u around very much and youre awesome

SoftLord (9:50:24 P): and you didn’t say you were in love you said you had a crush… if you can’t even tlak to someone how would you know if you’re in love

TheEternalMuse (9:50:37 P): the crush keeps getting bigger

TheEternalMuse (9:50:46 P): today I was convinced i must be in luv with the guy

SoftLord (9:51:10 P): well maybe there was a misunderstanding…but what i took from that was, whether or not yuo’re have feelings for this other guy should not preclude me from
pursuing something with you

TheEternalMuse (9:51:19 P): NO

TheEternalMuse (9:51:22 P): tha’s not what i meant at all

TheEternalMuse (9:51:26 P): i meant dont drop out of my life

SoftLord (9:51:56 P): honestly, the most painful relationship i can think of right now is "just being friends" with someone i have feelings for

TheEternalMuse (9:52:35 P): im sorry..it’s not like I led u on

SoftLord (9:52:44 P): i just can’t do the "hey you
never know, maybe someday something will
happen"

TheEternalMuse (9:52:56 P): well im not saying that
either

SoftLord (9:53:01 P): yes i know

SoftLord (9:53:08 P): but i’d be saying it to myself to
justify sticking around

TheEternalMuse (9:53:12 P): I mean by no means do not
wait …do as you please…but this is my situation right
now.

TheEternalMuse (9:53:27 P): so say that u and i never
flirted…u never would have been my friend?

SoftLord (9:53:42 P): thats not it at all

SoftLord (9:54:08 P): if we never flirted or took it to
that level i wouldve been okay with a friendship
because thats all it could have been

TheEternalMuse (9:54:40 P): I dont know what to tell
you

SoftLord (9:54:40 P): i’m friends with several
attractive girls i think are awesome but dont have
romantic feelings for

TheEternalMuse (9:55:01 P): I dig you a lot, but if i’m
gonna be a nuisance in your life th en….well the ‘then’ is
up to you.

SoftLord (9:55:19 P): but not in the way i’d like for
you to

SoftLord (9:55:43 P): er…not that wishing would make
it so, certainly…thats just crazy talk

SoftLord (9:56:39 P): its like…once that line is crossed
and that door is opened just a crack its nay
impossible to shut it again as if it was never
opened

SoftLord (9:56:40 P): at least for me

SoftLord (9:57:05 P): its different for different people,
i guess

SoftLord (9:59:46 P): i’m gonna need a bit of time to
work this out… i mean obvs you wont be out of my
life cause of work… and i honestly do hope you
find what you’re looking for with that guy

SoftLord (10:00:01 P): its my own pattern i’m trying to
break

TheEternalMuse (10:00:11 P): ok

SoftLord (10:00:47 P): i have to eat something i forgot
to have lunch again

SoftLord (10:01:00 P): bbiab possibly, might to right to
bed

SoftLord (10:01:04 P): go, rather

TheEternalMuse (10:01:42 P): alright

TheEternalMuse (10:01:44 P): bon appetit

SoftLord (10:01:48 P): quite.

chrrybmbnyc: hey

SoftLord: yuo’re funny…like i’d want to talk to you
anymore

chrrybmbnyc: I’ve had a bad week. And I do miss you

SoftLord: good.

SoftLord: hope you treat the next nice guy who
comes along better than you treated me

chrrybmbnyc: so i finally extricated myself from ed and
the business. Had to get an order of protection, have
bruises all over my arms, and ed swallowed some pills and
is in the psych ward

SoftLord: i’m happy for you… i really can’t keep
doin this back and forth tho C… its not fair… you
get my hopes up that you might be pullin your shit
together enough to even be friends and/or
fuckbuds, either of which i would be fine with, and
then you pull the same shit you always pull

SoftLord: i used to be that much of a masochist,
but i can’t be anymore

chrrybmbnyc: it’s not the easiest situation. hope you
never find yourself there

chrrybmbnyc: oh fuck you. I didn’t do anything that
bizarre

SoftLord: you set up plans and flaked…for like the
7th time…after being all ‘i miss you and i want you
as a friend’ … its not bizarre for you, but its cruel
to me.

chrrybmbnyc: I’m sorry. I had a lot of shit to take care of.
Like keeping ed from going crazy on you. You have no idea
the type of damage he’s done to my life and the people I
care about

SoftLord: and i really dont need people being cruel
to me, no matter what the situation, past or
present might have been

SoftLord: what does ed have to do with me

chrrybmbnyc: whatever. guess you never bore the brunt of
a jealous ex-boyfriend. You don’t have to talk to me

SoftLord: remember, i had to deal with not being
your boyfriend because of him while we were
together.

chrrybmbnyc: well I paid the price

SoftLord: well i’m glad, then, that youre not in that
situation anymore

chrrybmbnyc: no, I’m free as a bird

SoftLord: it was no picnic for me either.

SoftLord: in case you hadn’t noticed.

chrrybmbnyc: I know

chrrybmbnyc: so let’s talk about the future

SoftLord: hmm.

SoftLord: here it is.

chrrybmbnyc: how’s the new job

SoftLord: in order for us to be friends, fuckbuddies,
whatever…i need to know that you’re not going to
pull the same shit you always do. cause it hurts
me. and i dont need that kind of stuff in my life.
so, when you can do that then we’ll see about ‘the
future’

SoftLord: job is great

chrrybmbnyc: ok I’ll earn your trust

SoftLord: honestly, you know i respect you and all
that, but… and i dontl ike that i’m saying this
because it means i reversed my position, and dont
think i didn’t realize it… this is your last chance…
you fuck up again, i dont want to hear from you

chrrybmbnyc: and you define the boundary so eloquently.
missed you

SoftLord: and yes, i do expect a lot from my
friends…tahts why i dont have a ton of them, and
even fewer lovers…but the ones that i do have i
treasure.

SoftLord: just dont make me regret talkin to you

chrrybmbnyc: you won’t

chrrybmbnyc: it has been interesting??

SoftLord: what has?

chrrybmbnyc: the ride

SoftLord: i was never one for rollercoasters

chrrybmbnyc: just the merry go round

SoftLord: on turbo mode perhaps

chrrybmbnyc: so what have you been up to lately

SoftLord: work…thats pretty much it…

chrrybmbnyc: that’s a pity

chrrybmbnyc: how’s your menagerie of women

SoftLord: well i seem to remember a booty call that
never happened.

chrrybmbnyc: I was talking about your Egypt and German
girls

SoftLord: *shrug* Alex has a girlfriend, Sue’s comin
back at the end of the month… everyone else can
go fuck themselves

chrrybmbnyc: that doesn’t sound good

SoftLord: nah its fine…was time to clean out the
hangers-on

chrrybmbnyc: I hear that

SoftLord: make some new friends

chrrybmbnyc: that’s always just easier

SoftLord: whatever happened to Michael…he didn’t
move along with you? i liked him, tho he was pretty
tightly wound

chrrybmbnyc: you mean ax-murderer michael

SoftLord: sure

chrrybmbnyc: he went back to new orleans to spend
some time with his son

SoftLord: ah.. he did have that NOLA vibe about
him

chrrybmbnyc: yes he did. do miss him though

SoftLord: he seemed like good people, ax murderer
aside

chrrybmbnyc: he definitely was…really did me a solid
once

SoftLord: tho apparnetly he made me nervous…i
always knock things over around people who make
me nervous

chrrybmbnyc: hold on…I have to pee

chrrybmbnyc: done peeing

SoftLord: hope everything came out alright.

chrrybmbnyc: yes, it

chrrybmbnyc: came out fine

SoftLord: good to know

chrrybmbnyc: and how’s your urethra

SoftLord: delicious

chrrybmbnyc: so what are you up to tonight

SoftLord: debating food, movie, chat, jerk off, sleep

chrrybmbnyc: in that order?

SoftLord: no, not necessarily

chrrybmbnyc: me too. adam wants to go out but I’m tired.
thinking of just kicking back and watching a movie

SoftLord: also shower might be in there

chrrybmbnyc: just showered myself

SoftLord: they’re good

chrrybmbnyc: yes, and healthy too

SoftLord: er…yes.

chrrybmbnyc: I’m pretty brain dead tonight

SoftLord: so i see

SoftLord: still, either of us at 50% is still better
than most at 100

chrrybmbnyc: very true and very sad

SoftLord: not so.

chrrybmbnyc: why not

SoftLord: most people are dumb…and we get to
take their money

chrrybmbnyc: I did neglect that point. yeah for stupid
people

SoftLord: hip hip

chrrybmbnyc: hooray

SoftLord: hoooo

SoftLord: haaaay

SoftLord: hooooo

chrrybmbnyc: did you call me a ho

SoftLord: i did not

chrrybmbnyc: well ed put a poll of cherrybomb asking who
the bigger whore was: me or christina. I took down the site
for now….but christina beat me out

SoftLord: i’msure he stacked the results

SoftLord: ho is different than whore isn’t it?

SoftLord: ho gives it away, whore makes you pay

chrrybmbnyc: isn’t ho short for whore

chrrybmbnyc: well donw

chrrybmbnyc: e

SoftLord: wasn’t evven goign for the rhyme thing

chrrybmbnyc: sometimes those things just happen

SoftLord: apparently

chrrybmbnyc: some sign of intelligence

SoftLord: as if there was any doubt

SoftLord: so are you out of pseudo.com altogether?

chrrybmbnyc: pretty much. I’ve been making too much $
producing for Playgirl. Part of my negotiation was that I get
cherrybomb.com and the brand. I don’t want to do any
more legal work for other people

SoftLord: i saw some article about playgirlTV…

SoftLord: can’t remember what it said…other than
its not all that widely available

chrrybmbnyc: yeah. Christina and I are their east coast
operation

chrrybmbnyc: but they have $

SoftLord: thought you were worried about her being
too similar to you

chrrybmbnyc: what do you mean

SoftLord: inthe manipulative
potential-for-backstabbing kind of way

SoftLord: well…last we spoke about her anyway

chrrybmbnyc: she really proved herself this week. really
was a true friend

SoftLord: k

chrrybmbnyc: but thanks

SoftLord: yeah.

chrrybmbnyc: you’re a good egg

SoftLord: thanks, i try.

SoftLord: which is why it hurts when people who
know it treat me badly.

chrrybmbnyc: ok I’m sorry….just a blanket sorry

SoftLord: heh…okay

SoftLord: i’m sorry for not letting it go

chrrybmbnyc: you’re just a man….can’t help it

SoftLord: watch it.

SoftLord: you’re still on shaky ground, you know

chrrybmbnyc: don’t worry not a man hater yet

SoftLord: wasn’t worried

SoftLord: yuo’d have every right to be, considering
most of the men in your life

chrrybmbnyc: yeah. I think it’s pretty magnanimous of me

SoftLord: *breaks out a dictionary* 😉

SoftLord: my new word is Quixotic

chrrybmbnyc: and…

chrrybmbnyc: meaning?

SoftLord: optimistic regardless of circumstance

chrrybmbnyc: that’s me

SoftLord: oh yeah.

SoftLord: never complains, always positive

chrrybmbnyc: do I detect a note of sarcasm

SoftLord: facetiousness

chrrybmbnyc: I know that one

SoftLord: argh…stupid virus scan slowing down my
computer

chrrybmbnyc: a hazard

SoftLord: better than not doin it i guess

SoftLord: still doin porn?

SoftLord: quix·ot·ic ( P ) Pronunciation Key
(kwk-stk) also quix·ot·i·cal (–kl)

adj.



1. Caught up in the romance of noble deeds and
the pursuit of unreachable goals; idealistic without
regard to practicality.

2. Capricious; impulsive: “At worst his scruples
must have been quixotic, not malicious” (Louis
Auchincloss).



chrrybmbnyc: NOT ME

SoftLord: i coulda told you that

chrrybmbnyc: yes, way too practical

SoftLord: mercurial is another good one

chrrybmbnyc: yes

SoftLord: mercurial



\Mer*cu"ri*al\, a. [L. mercurialis, fr. Mercurius
Mercury: cf. F. mercuriel.] 1. Having the qualities
fabled to belong to the god Mercury; swift; active;
sprightly; fickle; volatile; changeable; as, a
mercurial youth; a mercurial temperament.

chrrybmbnyc: kind of me

SoftLord: didn’t know i was supposed to be searchin
for a word to define you

chrrybmbnyc: no, but we did start this conversation how I
thought I was quixotic

SoftLord: true true

chrrybmbnyc: don’t worry. I’m not that self absorbed

SoftLord: did i say anything?

chrrybmbnyc: no

SoftLord: right. 🙂

SoftLord: i hope steve leaves soon too.

chrrybmbnyc: yeah

SoftLord: and then everyone i’m relatively fond of
will be gone

chrrybmbnyc: won’t that be grand

SoftLord: and it’ll just be adam running the whole
thing

chrrybmbnyc: I’m going to merge the pseudo assets with
another company. been working on it for a while. Now
everyone is out of my way. yippe

SoftLord: that url has so many visitors and so little
content of use to anyone

chrrybmbnyc: yeah. but they make $

chrrybmbnyc: we’re going to start creating new content.
Relauch streetsound, globalhouse etc

SoftLord: thougt you were leaving

SoftLord: and the brand you were taking was
cherrybomb

chrrybmbnyc: yes. but I have to set pseudo up so we’re
making $ off the investment

SoftLord: whats your percentage?

chrrybmbnyc: 50%

chrrybmbnyc: and all the IP assets

SoftLord: aj

SoftLord: ah

chrrybmbnyc: the ball is in my court

chrrybmbnyc: or should I say "balls"

SoftLord: you didn’t have balls last i checked

chrrybmbnyc: but I have the biggest balls of them all

SoftLord: so technically you could package it all up
and sell the other 50% to competent people with a
passion for it who aren’t nutjobs and have business
sense, make them prominently feature cherrybomb,
and totally ignore it and let the money roll in

chrrybmbnyc: you got it. like an IQ test

SoftLord: i just…not that its any of my business or
my call or anything… but it didn’t seem like you
were at all happy or satisfied doing the day-to-day
of running an internet company…and honestly you
weren’t that good at it (the internet side of it)…so
i wouldn’t want you to go back to it.

chrrybmbnyc: not good at it???

SoftLord: good at partnerships and making
deals…but that site is really bad… the design is
awful and not useful, you dont have any room for
standard banners on the front page, 75% of your
content links were broken at any one time

chrrybmbnyc: fake it till you make it

SoftLord: *Shrug*

SoftLord: hence, not so good at the internet side.

SoftLord: when people hit broken links too often
they get pissed off and they dont come back.

chrrybmbnyc: internet is expensive. need the
partnerships etc. before you can spend $ on content etc.

chrrybmbnyc: talk to adam. that’s his thing

SoftLord: i dont care, really…i’m just saying

chrrybmbnyc: uh huh

SoftLord: and i have spoken to adam about my
suggested redesign, weeks ago

chrrybmbnyc: good boy

SoftLord: mostly because he’s been workin with us
@sony a bunch lately and i want it to be worth our
time

SoftLord: watch it.

chrrybmbnyc: bark for me

SoftLord: it takes me two clicks to put you on block
list for good, and i dont have to answer my phone.

chrrybmbnyc: but you’d miss me

SoftLord: when was the last time i IMed you first,
Carlin?

chrrybmbnyc: ooohhh

SoftLord: i miss talking with you sometimes, but i
also wont take nearly as much shit as even i did 6
months ago.

chrrybmbnyc: a new man

SoftLord: and you’re on thin ice as it is 😛

SoftLord: yes…perhaps i have you to thank for that
in a roundabout way

chrrybmbnyc: yes you do

SoftLord: so there you have it.

chrrybmbnyc: you don’t have to thank me

SoftLord: wasn’t plannin on it

chrrybmbnyc: I know you love me

SoftLord: that remains to be seen

chrrybmbnyc: you are too much fun

SoftLord: why’s that

chrrybmbnyc: just very stimulating

SoftLord: can i ask you something honestly?

chrrybmbnyc: yes you may

SoftLord: sometimes i get the feeling that you
weasel back into my relatively good graces just to
prove that you can, and then you get
bored...anything to that?

chrrybmbnyc: not at all

SoftLord: okay…well i just thought you should be
aware that i feel that way sometimes.

chrrybmbnyc: no, just been trying to get control of my life
for the last 3 years. everyone knew I was over a barrel
because I knew ed would try to fuck the business. had to
wait

SoftLord: i see

SoftLord: and where are you now?

chrrybmbnyc: free, in control, producing, independent, and
loving it

SoftLord: happy for you

SoftLord: must be an odd feeling

chrrybmbnyc: yes, like being an adult again. sometimes I
hate being a woman.

chrrybmbnyc: hate that men can try to intimidate you
physically and business is unfair….have to always watch
your back

SoftLord: being a woman isn’t it…its being a
beautiful and smart woman thats the kicker

SoftLord: bunch of insecure men in the world who
can’t take the combo

chrrybmbnyc: yes, I can’t tell you how much of that
bullshit I"m confronting. Men hate successful/creative
women

SoftLord: and it wasn’t meant as a compliment but
as a statement of fact.

chrrybmbnyc: i know

SoftLord: dont say men

SoftLord: its not all men.

SoftLord: its men you deal with

chrrybmbnyc: men in their 40’s

SoftLord: k…wouldn’t know much about them

SoftLord: oh

SoftLord: wish me a happy birthday

chrrybmbnyc: Happy Birthday.

chrrybmbnyc: knew there was a reason I IMed you

SoftLord: oh is that why

SoftLord: i doubt that.

SoftLord: why did you IM me?

chrrybmbnyc: fate?

SoftLord: you can give me a real answer, i wont
laugh at you.

chrrybmbnyc: just wanted to reconnect now that I’m
through the woods

SoftLord: for what purpos

SoftLord: e

SoftLord: i won’t hold you to it

SoftLord: not that i could anyway

chrrybmbnyc: to enjoy you

SoftLord: a multilayered turn of phrase

chrrybmbnyc: like that don’t you

SoftLord: it did make me take notice

chrrybmbnyc: I aim to please

SoftLord: you seem like you do a decent job, from
my limited experience

chrrybmbnyc: just decent???

SoftLord: you’re so easy

chrrybmbnyc: are you saying I’m a "whore"

SoftLord: no, i’m saying you’re easily riled

chrrybmbnyc: true dat

SoftLord: and i dont remember having any
complaints except that we only did it that one night
and never got to expand the repertoire.

chrrybmbnyc: I know

SoftLord: and you made me break several of my
rules

chrrybmbnyc: I can be crafty

SoftLord: amongst other things

chrrybmbnyc: yes

chrrybmbnyc: so I think I’m going to crash for a few hours.
be back later=-O

SoftLord: you ARE a tease.

SoftLord: do you mean later or do you mean
tomorrow, honestly.\

SoftLord:

http://www.zerointerrupt.com/arkive/milkshake.jpg

---

Auto response from chrrybmbnyc: I am away from my
computer right now.

---

Diddlms: hi

SoftLord: heya

Diddlms: wanna die

Diddlms: heart break

SoftLord: you’ll geto ver it

Diddlms: doesnt feel like it

SoftLord: you’re not breaking up with her

Diddlms: i know

Diddlms: but it hurts

SoftLord: you’ll see her again… maybe its good to
give yourself some distance so you dont lose
yourself in her

Diddlms: i already have

Diddlms: and she loves me too

SoftLord: ?

Diddlms: i mean

Diddlms: my feelings

Diddlms: im so in love with her

SoftLord: yeah…maybe you need some distance,
so you can be comfortable being apart

Diddlms: yeah i know

SoftLord: theres love and then theres obsession
you know

Diddlms: but ive had that for so long jus sucks haveing
her back behind the computer screen

SoftLord: i know, but as i said… you want to be
able to be apart…otherwise you have a
codependent relationship and those never work out
well

Diddlms: yeah i know

Diddlms: your really right bout that one

SoftLord: of course i am 😛

SoftLord: i speak frome experience

Diddlms: your jeremy your always right

SoftLord: there was a point where i’d do anything to keep from being apart from a girlfriend… and that doesn’t lead to anything good

Diddlms: 😀

SoftLord: not always… i just tend to be pretty spot on about human nature

SoftLord: and you’re predictable

SoftLord: not in a bad way

Diddlms: how so?

SoftLord: there are certain ways you behave and certain thingis you want and things you do to try to attain them

Diddlms: who me?

Diddlms: so how is that

Diddlms: im curious

SoftLord: only if you wont get defensive, since i’m not attacking you

Diddlms: babe its ok

SoftLord: you always want attention however you can get it… whether its healthy for you or not… to make up for being abandoned by your dad
(this being my theory)… especially from men… which is why you’re such a tease… you need to have the power over men… you need people to
think you’re special, but you dont think you’re special enough on your own (which you are) so you use your sex appeal and flirting to have people
want to hang around you… i think on some leve you know that thats not really genuine affection, which you could have…but you enjoy the
attention and power still… i think you know that until you take a look at some of the things causing this you’re not gonna be able to have a real
connection with people, so when you find someone you do like you become very desperate to use any of your existing tools to keep them around…
i dont think you’ve really had the rolemodels for a healthy interaction to base your behaviors on (neither have I)…

SoftLord: so you get obsessive and codependent (i do too sometimes) because you really want to be loved for something other than what you put
out there, but you dont really feel like you know how to put something elsee out there, or that anyone deserves to know ‘the real you’ … because
they might not like what they see, and you know they’ll ‘love’ you if you flirt and give them attention like that

Diddlms: ding ding ding

SoftLord: so you become kinda an energy-parasite, needing false attention so much

Diddlms: true

Diddlms: true ture

Diddlms: but

Diddlms: i do like attention

Diddlms: and thats because it feels good to be important

Diddlms: but

SoftLord: yeah but its not like ‘real’ importance…dont know if i’m being clear

Diddlms: i really like this girl… and honestly im willing to be real with her…even if it means she may hurt me

SoftLord: having someone pay attention to you because you spend 10 minutes on how much you love sucking cock isn’t ‘real’ attention

Diddlms: but its worth it

SoftLord: yes but you were saying similar things with Dan

Diddlms: dan is an idiot

SoftLord: and i dont know, do you think you have the ‘tools’ to be real with her?…the behavior patterns… thats not a slight against you, just in my
experience it looks like its very difficult for you and probably very frustrating

Diddlms: well…so far… its been really nice

Diddlms: shes really made me see things i didnt know aobut myself

SoftLord: but you see how you’ve become obsessive

SoftLord: i’m glad she has

Diddlms: that i dont wanna leave her

Diddlms: it that bad<<?

SoftLord: but its like… i do the same thing… go from 0 to 160…

Diddlms: i mean i know

SoftLord: no turning back… its like… desperation, you know?

Diddlms: space is good

Diddlms: yeah

Diddlms: i know space is good

SoftLord: cause you so want it to work… but you dont really know how

Diddlms: but i jus gonna miss her

SoftLord: its like someone who can’t swim jumping off the deep end…you want to do a double pike with a twist and you think you should but you
end up bellyflopping and then flailing around

SoftLord: with the best intentions

Diddlms: so what do u suggest?

SoftLord: well…i think the space is a good thing… but overall i think for your sake its time you start addressing some of these underlying issues
with an impartial third party

Diddlms: cant afford that not at the moment atleast

SoftLord: its something to think about working toward, though… a job with medical benefits

Diddlms: yeah well i dont wanna do it here

Diddlms: i wanna move out here

SoftLord: tis the birthplace of therapy

Diddlms: hehe

Diddlms: your really something

SoftLord: its just… its time, ya know?

Diddlms: but i thought it was vienna

SoftLord: how so

Diddlms: freud

SoftLord: no i meant how so to "your really
something"

SoftLord: you’re right…vienna

Diddlms: you just matured so much

SoftLord: ahh…

SoftLord: i still have a bit to go

Diddlms: i was talking bout u in the bath with dani sat
night

SoftLord: thats random

Diddlms: how special u are

SoftLord: did you mention how cute i am? 😉

Diddlms: hehehe

Diddlms: we we were discussing people

Diddlms: and personality brought u to mind

SoftLord: i c

Diddlms: not shallow shit

Diddlms: ya know

SoftLord: i realize

SoftLord: i was teasin

Diddlms: hehe yeah

SoftLord: i’m just … so used to the "well he’s a
really great guy" that implies "shame he’s fat and
ugly"…at least in my brain

Diddlms: no

SoftLord: not sayin that thats how you meant it

SoftLord: whatever…thats my stuff

Diddlms: well ur not

SoftLord: k 🙂

SoftLord: hey i believe it more now than i did in the
past

Diddlms: well good cause its true

SoftLord: but as i said, thats my stuff

SoftLord: so ther you go…nothing you havent
heard before, prolly from me…or don’t know… 🙂

SoftLord: but i love ya anyway

Diddlms: me too

Diddlms: love me too

Diddlms: 😛

Diddlms: na

Diddlms: love u too

SoftLord: no comment on that one.

SoftLord: oh so here’s some happy news

SoftLord: haras and barney are getting hitched

Diddlms: no way

Diddlms: thats fantastic

SoftLord: yeah

SoftLord: good for them

Diddlms: yeah thats really nice

SoftLord: well done

SoftLord: a year ago you woulda made some crack
about how even ugly people can find love

Diddlms: yeah i know but i thats really mean and they
love each other and that sucks to be nasty like that

SoftLord: right

SoftLord: thats why i said well done

Diddlms: well honey i have to get some sleep early flight

SoftLord: oh yay you’re home tomorrow

Diddlms: i know…yay i miss u

SoftLord: do you want to plan something for
thursday?

Diddlms: yes def

Diddlms: like what sleep over sort of stuff?

SoftLord: sure

Diddlms: he he cool

SoftLord: as long as i dont have to go clubbing

Diddlms: that would be great

Diddlms: well no more pyramid so i dont see how we
could

SoftLord: haven’t been clubbin in months, dont miss
it, not planning to go anytime soon.

Diddlms: i miss pyramid only go to down time cause im
bored

Diddlms: i dont forsee any major plans but how bout
this..how bout we leave thursday pending on account my
family might get annoyed athat i been home like two days
and i didnt settle in and take care of shit

Diddlms: so sound ok

Diddlms: so i dont fuck u over

Diddlms: cause i dont want thatt

SoftLord: would you rather make it a definite on
friday?

SoftLord: i just don’t want you to tell me on
thursday at 5:45 that you’re not gonna be able to
make it

Diddlms: i know i dont want that either

Diddlms: how bout we discuss tomorrow then

Diddlms: ?

SoftLord: theres a dream theater show on
saturday…if i’dve known you were comin back i
would have gotten you a ticket…i only have one
🙁

Diddlms: aw well u goin alone?

SoftLord: yea

Diddlms: sound fun

SoftLord: i know you hate live music 😛

SoftLord: they’re gonna be on for 3 hours

Diddlms: ok kiddo i need some rest chat with u
tomorrow?

SoftLord: no opening act

SoftLord: i cant’ wait

Diddlms: love u

SoftLord: u2…go sleep

Diddlms: ill try

SoftLord: or whatever it is you do

Diddlms: night honey

chrrybmbnyc: hell0o
hyperthetical: hey
chrrybmbnyc: i love it when the city is empt
chrrybmbnyc: empty
hyperthetical: yes
hyperthetical: so whats the deal with you and ed?
chrrybmbnyc: well we used to live together and now we don’t. we’re business partners. and sometimes ed chills at my house for the weekend
hyperthetical: that IM convo was not exactly heartwarming 😛
hyperthetical: plus i wanted to see kill bill wif ya :/
chrrybmbnyc: it was ok. maybe i wasn’t in the mood. i was kind of bored by the end
hyperthetical: wasn’t the point of the statement
chrrybmbnyc: well if it’s any consolation technically i’m still married
hyperthetical: thats a different thing…its not like yuo’re particularly social with that one
hyperthetical: and thats just waiting on legal proceedings, as you said
chrrybmbnyc: this is a sore issue for you
hyperthetical: yeah… i dunno… i just dont like feeling like i’m being kept in the dark or dicked around… you know my thing with honesty… i thought i’d bring it up with you directly…especially since you didn’t hang out with me all weekend cause you had patent stuff to do and then ended up hangin out all weekend with stuff that i wanted to do wif ya
chrrybmbnyc: jeremy you need to know that I’m a great friend, lover, buddy whatever but a horrible girlfriend. my time is not my own and my focus is all business. i like to just spend time with people i like – not define things. better for an aries
hyperthetical: …
chrrybmbnyc: if you have a question just ask me
hyperthetical: trying to phrase the thought succinctly
chrrybmbnyc: ok
hyperthetical: i’m not asking you to put me ahead of your work… i admire your dedication to your company, i do… i just think that maybe i should factor in a little above ex-boys and dinners with slimy lawyers… you’ve become very important to me, and i think i deserve similar consideration… you’re not likely to come across someone like me anytime soon… i dont mean that to sound arrogant, i’m just saying… its not a jealousy thing, you can spend time with whoever you want, i trust you… its just a matter of what he said, and how we dont seem to ever have time to really connect… as i said, you’re someone special to me and i’d like to really do somethin here…
hyperthetical: guess that wasn’t as succinct as i was going for
chrrybmbnyc: like the arrogance. why do you think i spend as much time with you as i do. now it’s going to sound arrogant on my part but there are so many people in my life that i have to make time for and no matter what someone’s pissed at me. just trying to get my business to the next level so I can take a breath
hyperthetical: i dont think i’m askin for too much… i just wanna come in third, after work and family (in whichever order you’d like)… a lot of people would resent the dedication you have to your job… i understand that there are a lot of demands on your time… prioritize :-P… i’m not askin for your business time… just some of your social time and maybe a tiny piece of your heart…. so when you tell me i shouldn’t go to Show because I’d hate it there, you miss the point… the point is i get to spend time with you… the venue is irrelivant… i can make my own fun wherever i may be… the point is bein together… so tell me to be patient and i’ll have more of your attention and I will… but i just want to feel like i’m special to you like you’re special to me, and thinks like ed’s IM (however he meant it) does not do that.
hyperthetical: thinGs
chrrybmbnyc: got your point. well that YRB thing is tomorrow night. it’s going to be raining like crazy but what the hell
hyperthetical: true…
hyperthetical: however
hyperthetical: i can’t go :/
hyperthetical: cause my gig is tomorrow
hyperthetical: so yeah… just needed to say that… feel free to respond as you see fit.. was buggin me most of the weekend
chrrybmbnyc: that’s right. perfect. what time does your thing start???
hyperthetical: 9
chrrybmbnyc: YRB starts @ 7:00 so that works
hyperthetical: cool
hyperthetical: i’m cold
chrrybmbnyc: too much air conditioning
hyperthetical: not sure… nobody else seems to be as cold as i am
hyperthetical: maybe i’m dying
chrrybmbnyc: hope you’re ‘not getting sick
chrrybmbnyc: you see a bright light when you’re dying
hyperthetical: my lights are off, so i guess thats not it
chrrybmbnyc: ha ha
hyperthetical: tho that might be why i’m cold
hyperthetical: and it all comes full circle
chrrybmbnyc: maybe it’s the black t-shirt with a clever saying
hyperthetical: possibly
chrrybmbnyc: you’re what
hyperthetical: possibly its the black t-shirt thing
hyperthetical: but i think i’d be used to it by now 😛
chrrybmbnyc: one would hope
hyperthetical: yaes
hyperthetical: whatchaupta?
hyperthetical: i’ve been in a wacky mood all weekend… didn’t mean to take it all out on you… might head home a little early today

chrrybmbnyc: are you home already

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Auto response from chrrybmbnyc: Ah love, thy
name is nap. Back soon, don’t miss me too much!

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chrrybmbnyc: pretty clever

SoftLord: come baaack

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Auto response from chrrybmbnyc: I am away from
my computer right now.

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chrrybmbnyc: here

SoftLord: yay

chrrybmbnyc: how was your nap?

SoftLord: better than nothing

SoftLord: i can think now, mostly

chrrybmbnyc: you better rest up

SoftLord: is that a threat?

chrrybmbnyc: if you still want to play

chrrybmbnyc: tomorrow

SoftLord: of course

chrrybmbnyc: how are you going to entertain me?

SoftLord: its a secret

chrrybmbnyc: ooohhh

chrrybmbnyc: love secrets

chrrybmbnyc: give me a hint

SoftLord: i definitely want you to see the place…

SoftLord: i feel like i should have a grand scheme
now

chrrybmbnyc: not at all

chrrybmbnyc: just playing with you

chrrybmbnyc: but i will crash your pad

SoftLord: i know

chrrybmbnyc: should i bring anything

chrrybmbnyc: ?

SoftLord: whipped cream and chocolate syrup

SoftLord: we can make sundaes! 😉

chrrybmbnyc: took the wind out of my witty retort

SoftLord: oops

SoftLord: sorry

SoftLord: lets try it again

chrrybmbnyc: only sorry for you

SoftLord: whipped cream and chocolate syrup

chrrybmbnyc: jeremy, chocolate syrup, whipped cream,
adn a cherry on top. yummy

SoftLord: whos cherry?

chrrybmbnyc: fuck you

SoftLord: not who’s cherry

SoftLord: WHOSE cherry

chrrybmbnyc: nice come back

SoftLord: well it is what i meant

chrrybmbnyc: steve thinks that i shouldn’t talk to you

SoftLord: reallly…why’s that

chrrybmbnyc: he says that i’m bad news and that you’re
too young and nice – guess i’ll corrupt you

SoftLord: people keep saying that about you

chrrybmbnyc: who

SoftLord: that you’re too much for me to handle

chrrybmbnyc: jackie? dan?

SoftLord: no, jackie adores you

chrrybmbnyc: and i said who not what

chrrybmbnyc: that’s because i gave her props for the
tongue ring

SoftLord: dan, steve, ed…

chrrybmbnyc: dan is just jealous

SoftLord: with good reasonj

SoftLord: the other two are not exactly impartial

SoftLord: but every time i get in a relationship
(not that thats a ton of times) … people always
say that… "i duno dude… you’re so nice… be
careful with that one"

SoftLord: its funny

SoftLord: like i’m a delicate flower…

chrrybmbnyc: he came up to me that night while we
were dancing – and said that "young jeremy needs to be
broken in and you’re just the woman to do it"

chrrybmbnyc: dan

SoftLord: nice

SoftLord: i love how everyone butts in to our
personal life…heh

chrrybmbnyc: well isn’t that why you brought me
there???

SoftLord: no, i brought you there cause i wanted
your company…

SoftLord: well.. and to show you off a bit 😉

chrrybmbnyc: i know

SoftLord: i’ll have you know, i got shit from alex
for bringing you 😛

chrrybmbnyc: figured – know her type

SoftLord: well…i mean

SoftLord: for not bringing her

chrrybmbnyc: i got it

SoftLord: heheh

SoftLord: yeah… you do know her type

SoftLord: but she’s good people

SoftLord: was thinkin we should get drinks with
her an steve

SoftLord: at some point

chrrybmbnyc: great people – 27 and broke it off with the
husband potential. In extreme need for male attention all
the time. loves to tease male friends. wants to be
wanted.

chrrybmbnyc: that would be fun

SoftLord: very self-involved, but not in like an
arrogant way… its just kinda all about her,
although other people are important to her… a
princess

SoftLord: but she’s also sweet and a good listener
and fun and funny

chrrybmbnyc: it’s not about narcisissm. it’s about
craving attention. should be in the spotlight

SoftLord: ja.. like… when she sees someone with
cool shoes or whatever her immediate response is
"i hate you where did you get those?"

SoftLord: heheh… but as i said…she’s fun 🙂

chrrybmbnyc: caddy fun

SoftLord: true

chrrybmbnyc: quality entertainment

SoftLord: so i was thinking tomorrow just like…
chinese and DVDs… maybe hang out up on the
roof and eat, depending on the weather

chrrybmbnyc: fun

SoftLord: i duno… should i still be trying to
impress you with going out to places and stuff?
i’m all for skippin right to the good stuff…. but
you know, dont think that i’m bein lazy 😉

chrrybmbnyc: having someone over to your house is
anything but lazy. i go out all the time. i get so sick of it.
sick of the food. sick of the people. plus i was supposed
to be in Boston tomorrow at Harvard. On a panel on IP
law compliments of Shelly. and guess…rooms for the
weekend. no fucking way.

SoftLord: k… i’m just more of a fan of quiet nights
at home with someone special than a whole
thing… but i know for a lot of people that comes
later in a relationship… i’m glad that it sounds
good to you too 🙂

chrrybmbnyc: you’re such a cheese ball. :-*

SoftLord: *blush* i know i know… and i think too
much

SoftLord: okay i’m stoppin now…

chrrybmbnyc: what do you think of Interpol?

SoftLord: so yeah… some food, i got Chicago,
About A Boy and Three Kings from NetFlix, will
save ’em for us… have a ton of other stuff… and
i’m sure we’ll find ways to entertain ourselves

SoftLord: they’re okay for a Joy Division cover
band

chrrybmbnyc: i love it when you rip music

chrrybmbnyc: what’s About a Boy??

SoftLord: Hugh Grant romantic comedy thing

SoftLord: based on a book by the guy who wrote
High Fidelity

chrrybmbnyc: oh yeah

SoftLord: Based on Nick Hornby’s popular British
novel, About A Boy is a comedy-drama starring
Hugh Grant as Will, a rich, child-free and
irresponsible Londoner in his thirties who, in
search of available women, invents an imaginary
son and starts attending single parent meetings.
As a result of one of his liaisons, he meets
Marcus, an odd 12-year-old boy with problems at
school. Gradually, Will and Marcus become friends,
and as Will teaches Marcus how to be a cool kid,
Marcus helps Will to finally grow up.

SoftLord: universals summary

chrrybmbnyc: thought you had dial up

SoftLord: newp…DSL

SoftLord: por quoi

chrrybmbnyc: check it out

chrrybmbnyc: i thought you were complaining once
about the juice or lack thereof

chrrybmbnyc: what are you doing???

SoftLord: my DSL sucks

chrrybmbnyc: right

SoftLord: but yea…its there

SoftLord: thats why file xfers are pretty quick
between us

chrrybmbnyc: quick fix…

SoftLord: ..?

chrrybmbnyc: just whirling off

SoftLord: wheee

SoftLord: come back come back! 🙂

chrrybmbnyc: sorry….adam wanted to check his
updates on pseudo

SoftLord: just cause you whirled off…nevermind

SoftLord: heh

chrrybmbnyc: exactly…he say a break

chrrybmbnyc: Toby lives

chrrybmbnyc: despite the pills

SoftLord: just gonna have to try harder last time

SoftLord: maybe leave some syringes lyin around

chrrybmbnyc: what about a needle and thread??

SoftLord: oooh

SoftLord: i like how you think

chrrybmbnyc: that’s what i told steve. i told him that
you liked my insanity.

SoftLord: how about thumbtacks

chrrybmbnyc: even better and less work

SoftLord: ah…so we’ve been found out, have we

chrrybmbnyc: just a little. just as friends

SoftLord: well we are friends

SoftLord: just you know… friends who make
out…and…. stuff

chrrybmbnyc: correctamundo

chrrybmbnyc: i don’t think i like rancid at all

SoftLord: i’m not a punk fan

SoftLord: they havea couple of good tracks, tho

chrrybmbnyc: butt licker

SoftLord: guilty as charge— what?

SoftLord: O:-)

chrrybmbnyc: knew you were a dirty boy

SoftLord: of course 🙂

chrrybmbnyc: i think it’s the youth thing – why people
think you’re nice.

SoftLord: i guess… maybe they think of
themselves at my age… but i’ve always been
‘advanced’

chrrybmbnyc: it’s the baby face

SoftLord: i mean…i am nice… but i’m not like….
as breakable as people think

SoftLord: not that you’d be trying to break me
anyway

chrrybmbnyc: no, just twist you up

chrrybmbnyc: pleasureably

SoftLord: i look forward to your efforts

SoftLord: still not gonna get me on drugs tho 😛

chrrybmbnyc: i never share my drugs with anyone

chrrybmbnyc: don’t worry

SoftLord: i wasn’t

chrrybmbnyc: good to have someone sober around me

SoftLord: *shrug* everything in moderation, i
say… dowhutchawant

chrrybmbnyc: i say work hard play hard

SoftLord: hard is good

chrrybmbnyc: wet is good too

SoftLord: *smile* sounds delicious

chrrybmbnyc: peachy

SoftLord: peach? i could eat a peach for hours

chrrybmbnyc: hhhmmm

SoftLord: Nick Cage, Face/Off

chrrybmbnyc: i didn’t see that. should have known it
was a movie rip off

SoftLord: hey i have plenty of clever innuendo of
my very own

chrrybmbnyc: i’ve heard a few so far

SoftLord: you just dont set ’em up as often as i
do

SoftLord: my dsl sucks

chrrybmbnyc: dsl sucks in general

chrrybmbnyc: hold on

SoftLord: when they give me more money i’m
gonna get digital cable

SoftLord: holding on…

SoftLord: can i let go now? i’m starting to
chafe….

chrrybmbnyc: yes i’m back

SoftLord: adam saw his puhsoodo updates/

chrrybmbnyc: yes…now he’s smoking

chrrybmbnyc: i hate cigarettes

SoftLord: yeah

SoftLord: alex took up smoking again since she
started this job… she’d quit…i feel bad a little

chrrybmbnyc: i hate a good question

SoftLord: hate? or have

chrrybmbnyc: if i was a smoker…would you walk the
other way

SoftLord: is that a ‘would you still like me if…’
question?

SoftLord: i’d prolly just wear you down until you
quit

chrrybmbnyc: that and would you entertain the
opportunity despite your distaste

SoftLord: as i said

SoftLord: i hate kissing people who smoke…they
taste like ash

chrrybmbnyc: my ex smoked and i hated it. i would
have to say that if someone smoked i probably wouldn’t
entertain anything

chrrybmbnyc: yuck

SoftLord: and i like kissing you, so

chrrybmbnyc: hhhmmm

SoftLord: and dancin…

SoftLord: or… "dancin"

SoftLord: ;")

SoftLord: 😉

chrrybmbnyc: i love to watch you dance, tony

SoftLord: ayyyy

SoftLord: oops…i’m mixin my travoltas

chrrybmbnyc: thought i’d jump on the bandwagon

SoftLord: you can jump on whatever you’d like to
babe

chrrybmbnyc: you know how i get

SoftLord: do i

chrrybmbnyc: don’t play coy

SoftLord: so yer sayin i get you all worked up….
O:-)

chrrybmbnyc: make me do bad things like rub myself all
over you

SoftLord: well you make me do bad things like bite
your neck and pull your hair… and i think you
could probably tell that i was enjoying myself

chrrybmbnyc: i do try to be good

SoftLord: do i need to explain to you the
difference between good and proficient?

chrrybmbnyc: what about good and proficient?

SoftLord: the difference between the two

chrrybmbnyc: explain

SoftLord: being good…and being good at it

chrrybmbnyc: talent?

SoftLord: moving on…

SoftLord: i think thats a thing that works verbally

chrrybmbnyc: i think you need to show me what you
mean

SoftLord: i think so too

chrrybmbnyc: so i think i’m going to crash in bed and
watch some mindless tv…wish you could join
me….tomorrow

SoftLord: so there are two parts of that evening
that stand out

SoftLord: you’re halfway through a show, you
might as well stay til 10

chrrybmbnyc: negotiating?

SoftLord: i’m just sayin… youd be coming in in the
middle

chrrybmbnyc: you know how i hate that

SoftLord: right

chrrybmbnyc: do you like jujyfruit?

SoftLord: sure

SoftLord: i used to be a milk duds at the movies
guy

chrrybmbnyc: i hate milk duds

chrrybmbnyc: i don’t know why

SoftLord: they changed the recipie

chrrybmbnyc: so now what do you choose

SoftLord: depends… bunchacrunch usually

chrrybmbnyc: what’s that

SoftLord: its like… little pieces of nestle crunch

chrrybmbnyc: more of a sour patch person myself

SoftLord: hmmm

SoftLord: oh cause you like dark chocolate

chrrybmbnyc: good memory

SoftLord: for the important stuff

chrrybmbnyc: ha ha

SoftLord: which was that chocolatier that you
liked so much… the name has slipped my mind

chrrybmbnyc: i can’t remember either

SoftLord: dammit

chrrybmbnyc: something with a B

SoftLord: the only B ones yahoo lists are
bari&gail, bendicks, bernard c, betsy ann, black
hound, bodega, bridgewater, bromilow, brownes,
buchanan and butlers

chrrybmbnyc: nothing sounds familiar

chrrybmbnyc: too tired

SoftLord: heh

SoftLord: so…as i was saying

chrrybmbnyc: and

SoftLord: there are two moments that stand out
from that evenin

chrrybmbnyc: yes….

SoftLord: 1) being pushed up against a wall and
kissed

chrrybmbnyc: and

SoftLord: and 2) on our walk back, on third and
mercer while we were waitin for adam, wrappin
my arms around you from behind

SoftLord: for a squeeze

chrrybmbnyc: that was fun

SoftLord: which

chrrybmbnyc: both

SoftLord: 🙂

SoftLord: yaes

chrrybmbnyc: i like being the aggressor and…

SoftLord: and…

chrrybmbnyc: pleasant suprises

SoftLord: well phreased

SoftLord: phrased

chrrybmbnyc: thank you

SoftLord: godiva fan?

chrrybmbnyc: yes i am

SoftLord: iinteresting

chrrybmbnyc: uh huh

SoftLord: fading fast, i see

chrrybmbnyc: sorry…i just hit a wall

chrrybmbnyc: but very into you

SoftLord: no no… you had to deal with me all
day, its only fair

chrrybmbnyc: i need a back rub

SoftLord: aww… wish i was there to give you
one… i give good rubs… tomorrow

chrrybmbnyc: promise?

SoftLord: absolutely

chrrybmbnyc: you’re the best

SoftLord: i dunno about that…. top 5,
definitely…..

SoftLord: 😉

chrrybmbnyc: have a good night, jeremy. till tomorrow
🙂

SoftLord: good night, sweetness *kiss onna
forehead* sleep well

chrrybmbnyc: you too

SoftLord: you’re more than welcome to crash
tomorrow BTW, regardless of how the evening is
spent